Can a boyfriend be TOO nice?

[thetruthintheformofhiphop]

Ok so im dating this girl right,and i love her she loves me.But it feels like im being TOO nice?Ok heres a list of what i tell her:

 

1.Never to say sorry,please,thankyou,promise,or none of those words cause im her boyfriend and she doesnt have to say that.

 

2.That she will never lie to me,cause im always going to believe her.

 

3.When she asks me "how are you" i tell her that it doesnt matter about me.

 

4.Im always sorry but she never is cause i never let her.

 

and if you want some morejust reply.

 

Am i kissing up to her to much? Should i start being a man and take some anitiative?

 

What do you think?

[Beec]

Yes, you should stop kissing up to her. While you may be lucky to have her, she should also feel lucky to have you.

 

Is everything you do wrong? No. But if she lied to me, she'd be out of my life. I'd believe her and trust her, but if she lied and I found out, sayanora.

 

How I am does matter and she should make me feel good. And if she makes a mistake, she should apologize, as should I when I make one.

[melrich]

Yes I think your attitude is wrong. Relationships are about two people. Who says you shouldn't continue to be polite in a relationship? It is a sign of respect to say please and thank you.

 

It is healthy to ask how you are. Of course it matters, if you are unhappy the relationship will be unhappy. It is not just about her, if you sacrifice yourself for her happiness the realtionship will not work. My partner asks me at least weekly "are you happy?" She is not asking am I in a good mood, she is asking do we need to talk about any issues.

 

Don't try and be a martyr in a relationship. It will eat away at the fabric of the realtiosnhip.

[jna35]

I agree with melrich 100%!!

[darkblue]

It's a two way thing.

 

Your feelings/thoughts/emotions etc should never be second priority; they shouldn't be first either.

 

She is not a God. She is a human being like everyone else. Treat her like one.

 

She may begin to see you as too 'clingy'.

 

I'm not saying back off, I'm just saying be more comfortable in her company and treat her like a girlfriend and not a Quasi-God.

[northernlights]

Wow, you are definitely treating her too nice. It's good to be a nice boyfriend, but when you automatically believe that she will NEVER lie to you and when you don't even let her say sorry, that's being TOO nice. Being too nice can actually drive a girl away. A boy I dated recently wouldn't let me say sorry after accusing me of something, and it drove me batty. He actually covered my mouth when I was in the process of saying it.

 

Saying "sorry" is a girl's way of showing that she cares. You're stifling your girlfriend's natural display of love and empathy. On top of that, you're definitely coming off as "clingy" if you say sorry all the time but never let her do so. Girls don't generally like clingy guys. You're intense kindness to her may actually push her away.

 

You need to find that balance in your relationship where you're both on equal terms. Let her apologize to you. Apologize to her. If you have trouble figuring out how to treat her, think of how you treat your friends. When you and your friends argue, you BOTH try to work things out, don't you? A girlfriend really isn't that different from a friend, except that you may have stronger feelings for a girlfriend and you can do things with her you can't do with others.

[asdf]

okay, what you are pretty much saying to her is "i'm going to treat you very nice, and shower you with good treatment, and you don't need to reciprocate because i am so into you".

 

on a deeper level, what you're saying is "i am treating you this way because i am clingy, desperate and needy of you, and i regard you as a complete superior because i lack the self confidence to treat myself better, let alone as good, as i treat you. here are my testicles on a silver platter. please don't leave me!"

[ScreamingInfidelities]

I had a boyfriend like this, it was nice at first, it got annoying after awhile, but all I really wanted was to be treated equally. Treat her with respect, but also make it so she isn't put on a pedestal all the time.

[livliv]

Sweetie, while being nice is so important, it is also important to develop a little bit of an edge and a backbone. Women love the good bad boy. well at least me and my friends do. Plus there is a fine line of being nice and just being a pushover. I just had to stop seeing a guy recently that sounds a lot like you because I had no respect for him. You are young enough to start developing a little bit of that edge, but please stay a nice guy in the process because we need more nice guys around this place.

[asdf]

Women love the good bad boy.

 

Some also love the bad bad boy!

[darkblue]

And some love the good, good guy. Let's not generalize.