Do long distence relationships ever work out??

[blondjeanyis2009]

I met a guy that I really like up were I used to live. My parents are still deciding if we are moving back next summer, but I just wanted to know if those kinds of relationships ever work out?? Oe should I just forget about him and hope for the best next summer?? Im so confused!! LOL

any suggestions

[ComputerGuy]

They do work out sometimes...very rarely though. However at your age I don't think holding onto any false hope is going to help you. I think just forgetting about him, enjoying what time you have with him now, and seeing what happens next summer is the best choice in this situation.

[sizzle2028]

i talked about this with my boyfriend one day, and honestly its not fair to each other if u wanted to persue a long distance relationship, i know a girl who lives in ontario and shes dating someone in oregon, now as far as i know. oregon is on the opposite side of north america, they seem to do well. but thats just nonesense. waste money. people think they will never find another love. but you can, good things come to those who wait right? i thought after me and my first bf broke up i was destined to be alone, well i met this one and i dont know what i did all my life wihtout him. if u move back there then u should try something if not.. for each others sake, keep it as long distance friends because there will be heart ache, and trust inssues. and all kinds of things come up. good luck

[darkblue]

EDIT: (to the original poster) - I believe you're too young to appreciate anything that a LDR has to offer. It's more a connection of minds; if anything.

 

As you can tell; I'm not a fan.

[loveydovey]

In my experience, it did not work out. It can definitely be a mental or intellectual connection, but a long distance relationship that will still be long distance a year from now (not speaking directly about your situation) is a strain. Unless it's a temporary situation, I don't think they are worth it.

[liquidsilk]

long distance is really tough on you. I had two relationships. The first girl lived in Arizona, and the second in Minnesotta. You do fall in love, and its great... but it turns to be all you think about. i was doing homeschool at the time, and i didnt focus on school, and since it was self paced, i fell waaay behind. its too much stress, and hearth-ache, like sizzle said. So be careful friend, if you really want to do it, make sure you can really communicate, and trust, and very importantly, honesty.

[patience]

don't do it

[Mr. Cactus]

don't do it

 

Yes, especially at your age. Please don't take offense, but at only 15 your mind and viewpoints about things can often change on a dime (and that is a good thing because it means you are maturing). An LDR is a very poor platform for that sort of thing to be happening and it will impede you from finding friendships or romantic liasons with local people. I think if you try to pursue an LDR then it is inevitable one or both of you will be hurt.

[1love2k5]

hi. i've been in a long distance relationship before, and they usually don't work out at all because you're giving this chick the opportunity to cheat on you, and this usually happens a lot to lots of people. trust me on this, they don't work because two people that live far apart from eachother, they have the opportunity to see other people, and you don't want that. so your best bet is to find another chick that you can easily see in your town or area, or go move to the area where this chick of yours live in. i would if i were you. i wish you the best of luck!

[Diabra]

I want to say two things about LDR's.

 

First of all, at age 15 it's not a good idea to put all your eggs in one basket. You've got plenty of time.

 

The second is that there are basically two types of LDR's, one that is harder to "make work" and another that is easier. The first type is where you "meet" someone online or in some type of situation other than an IRL type of date. With this one, you didn't start out the relationship with a real time IRL relationship and you hope to build one eventually.

 

The other more hopeful type is one that STARTS OUT as a real-time living-in-the-same-town relationship and then due to moving, work travel, or other situations it turns into an LDR. This type is easier to work with because you already KNOW you enjoy spending time with the other person and you have already had the experience of a real-time relationship and all it's challenges.

 

It's even better if this separation is a temporary one, that is you can realistically see yourself being together again at some point in the future.

 

But at age 15 I think you should leave all your options open and perhaps a new romance will take you by surprise when you least expect it.

[sarah32]

Everyone on here was really pessimistic with their replies. I'm very disappointed just quietly

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now - I live in Melbourne, and he lives in Sydney. I like the whole long distance relationship thing - i talk to him every night and during the day and we know everything about what is going on in each others lives. If you are serious about wanting to make the relationship work you HAVE to trust each other entirely - thats the main thing. If you love one another, why not have a go? See if it works out for you.

 

A mate of mine met his fiance over the internet. They dated online for over 2 years before actually meeting each other. Last month she came to Australia for 3 weeks, and now they are ingaged

 

I just want to say, it doesn't always turn out badly, and if both you and your fella have the same feelings for each other, then give it a shot because you never know what might happen..

 

by the way, im going to Sydney this weekend to see my boy

[ayekasong]

Yes, some long-distance relationships work out. But they are extremely tough. I think at your age it would be especially difficult because you are still doing a lot of growing. Even relationships with no distance break apart easily when you are young, often because you just outgrow each other.

 

I have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years now. It's working, but there are times when it is so hard. Fortunately, we are finally at a point where moving closer together is a realistic possibility. I know of at least two other people who frequent these forums that are engaged to their long distance significant other. This is proof that long distance can work, but you need to work together to eventually close that distance.

[atticus]

Well I'm in a long distance relationship myself. All I can say is that it's a damn hard thing to do, especially when you're younger. But then again, if both of you sincerely want it to work, then you can make it work. As someone has already said, honesty and trust is the most important thing! I'd say give it a shot, you'll never know without trying eh?

[Rainy]

I moved in with my long distance boyfriend on the 2nd of july, so it does work if you put the effort in, its alot of work but if you want your relationship to succed, most important advice i can give is communicate with your ldp every day, by phone, texts or email , msn as lomg as you keep in touch it will help. it does hurt to be apart and you appreciate seeing your partner when you do get to see them

[katyintexas]

Everyone on here was really pessimistic with their replies. I'm very disappointed just quietly

 

Me too!

 

 

I just want to say, it doesn't always turn out badly, and if both you and your fella have the same feelings for each other, then give it a shot because you never know what might happen..

 

by the way, im going to Sydney this weekend to see my boy

 

I'm so glad you said this! And have fun in Sydney, I hope it's wonderful.

[novaseeker]

This is true, but in a sense you kind of have to pursue your feelings as well. I mean some of these relationships do work out, and if you find the one that does, it could be extremely rewarding for you. I mean at age 15 I would agree it's prolly best to avoid it. But for more mature folks, I would not hesitate to pursue one, but with your eyes open to the risks involved ...

 

You need complete honesty and trust and, yes, it is easy to get burned. You need to meet the person in real life sooner rather than later, and not just for a weekend, but for extended periods, if that is possible. You need to see them in their contexts .. you need to see their family and friends, their environment ... and you also need to have a realistic plan about when/how someone will move to the other ... if things progress to a good point, then you have to force that issue otherwise it will be very hurtful ... I've seen the LDRs of others falter on this point, that one of the people just can't bring themselves to move for whatever reason, and that becomes very problematic and hurtful ...

 

I'm in a very fulfilling LDR at the moment, but the game plan is that he is is moving here, and we have a schedule we are working against for that, and so it works ... if there weren't a game plan in place, it wouldn't really work, because at some point the distance becomes a huge issue for developing and maintaining intimacy beyond a certain point.

[sooty]

Hey all!!

I met my boyfriend on the net in a yahoo chatroom about two years ago. Niether of us happened to be actively looking for someone, but one IM turned into regular talking. About a year after that, we decided to meet up in Paris (I live in the US and he lives in Ireland). the chemistry was great online but we were nervous how it would be in person. lucky for us, we hit it off and two years later were still commutting to each other. things can be very difficult at times, but because we love each other so much, there is a determination that surpasses distance. I think if you really feel that you want to be with the person, when you really love them, the distance doesnt seem that undefeatable.

[Mr. October]

LDR success depends if the two of you really want to work it out. In my experience it's hard not seeing the one you love every day, you have to wait weeks or months before you can see them again. The two of you have to put in a lot of effort, writing letters, emails, talking in IMs, phone bills, long hrs drive or purchasing plane tickets. You'll never know until you try. Just remember communication is the key.

[BillyJean714]

LDRs are really tough to maintain. I was lucky enough that the person who I had an LDR with would fly over cross country to visit me once a month each month within the 3 months we were apart, given the fact that we knew each other and hung out for 2 months prior to him leaving. One thing that was VERY annoying was webcam. I couldn't stand it. Not to mention, adjusting to different time zones, when considering cell phone off peak/peak hours.

 

I think that LDRs will only work out, only if both partners have been together for a long time, as in at least 2-4 years. By then, there is enough trust/understanding established. Even then, it would still be very difficult to handle. One thing though, LDRs are a true test of compatiblity and trust. Unfortunately, it can be quite expensive and emotionally consuming.

[CHill]

Most of the people who replied to this thing are like......18-30? I think it's safe to say when you're still in high school living with your parents it's a LOT different. I'm 16 too, and I'm in one now with a girl that went to my school then moved the summer after that year, and for months I've been seriously trying to get out of it, and we've broken up countless times. I don't even remember when it started going downhill, but it did for as many reasons as you can imagine. The distance itself, jealousy, not being able to show any physical affection, you name it. Everytime we talk on the phone i can't wait for it to end, and when we see each other we never want to do the same thing. Not to mention all the outside things going on, like looking at all the other couples kissing at school and our friends with good "short-distance" relationships. Don't even think of having anything physical until ur out of the house on ur own because parents are willing to do as little as nothing when it comes to driving you to go see them in the time ur both in LDR. In a nutshell, they dont work out in my opinion. You'll either end up breaking up or hating every minute of not.

[sooky]

umm...umm...im all for long distance. less hassle. more butterflies. or something. (says a girl from england with a boyfriend in australia)

its hard to say whether you should go for it or not - on one hand, if you dont move back there, you'll be sad! but then, if you forget him, and meet someone else, then do move back, you'll be sad again! oh!!!

so i guess it might be an idea to keep it casual, stay in touch, but without declarations of undying love...! it's worth a try!

good luck!

[QueenoftheMotN]

lol what is WITH those Aussie boys, huh?

Surprisingly literate and charming even in a few words

 

They tend to get more out-of-country GFs. Mine's in Australia also, and so are several of my friends'. In fact, my bf's brother met HIS fiancee online and drew her over from the Phillipines. Anyway.

 

LDRs can work! But definitely, 15 is too young. Eeesh, she's prolly 16 by now. But still. I got into my first LDR when I was 19. Everything everyone has said here is right.. it's good to know that those of us in ones that work are echoing the same things.. and that to make an LDR work, it's not just guesswork. Lately, my bf have grown even closer as we pray and read the Bible together (we're Christians) and to us, it's so good to know that our God is bigger than the world and thereforeeee can easily bring us together at the right time. We're waiting anxiously for that day, too.

 

Good luck everyone, don't be afraid to be PASSIONATELY and EXTRAVAGANTLY in love!!

 

Queenie!