Im surrounded by negativity let alone myself

[Shinobie]

Well im a very negative person when it comes to girls definitely.But my friends are pretty darn bad themseleves.My friend has gotten so bad off because hes never had a gf and he thinks all the girls are sl**ts in our town and that they are way too shallow to give him a chance since hes semi big and unattractive.And another friend thinks the same thing and always talks about it.My mom says that she was in idiot when she was younger and didnt make the right decisions with guys.As a long with like a dozen old women i have talked too.Maybe everybody i meet in my life is messed up just like me.But its semi true in the town like most girls go to these small dance places in town.And they have prolly had sex like 10 times with different guys cause these jerks that are like 7 years older go and pick em up.And even my best friend disappointed me before he went into the relationship he talked about sex as it being important over like the years ive been friends with him and he goes and has sex with 2 different girls in like 1 months.And the second one he did like 20 times and im like ok.... his gf had had like 4 partners in like 1 year.With how much girls dissappoint me by like lookin at me with disgust or never being interested in me.It has conditioned me into now whenever i walk by a younger girl i dont look at her at all and avoid her as much as fricken possible.Iono basicaly the subject of girls and relationships for me has been totally ruined.JUst by when my friend made hints of being ugly girls calling me ugly and stuff.Never one look from girls ever at all hasnt made me like myself much or give me any confidence let alone the stories or here or how bad my friends view on girls is.Now whenever i see an attractive my mind immeditely thinks shes shallow she wouldnt like you dont waste ur time.Without me even trying to think it just like goes through my head instantly.Iono i kind of wanna try and get myself better off too maybe give myself a better perspective but its kind of hard to do this with so much negativity.The only really positive thoughts that go through my head is whenj i sit here and listen too Anna Nalick.It might sound corny but i heard people with singers that make them happier when they listen to them.Sorry this is kind of vent but also maybe i need some thoughts from other people on how to think better about girls and myself but its just really hard.

[Ms Omaniac]

not all girls are like that. i know that might seem hard to believe coming from a small town....because there isnt much to do in a small town but have sex.

 

a lot of people...both girls and guys...dont mind the outside appearance BUT prefer a more beautiful inside. i know i do and i know im not the only one.

 

i normally am not attracted to blondes but the most intense relationship i ever had was with one (thus far at least). i also normally like guys to have some meat on them and the blonde guy i dated was waaaaaaaaaay too skinny. but that didnt matter. what mattered was that he made me laugh and he understood me.

 

dont lose hope.

 

- ivy

[DropToZero]

I understand you Shinobie, was just like you...but maybe not to the same extent. Anyways, I've noticed you posting something recently in something of mine about sex, and I know you have your values and you stand to withhold them for as long as possible. You've become 'disgusted' as you say b/c your own friends who recently held those same values as you just sold out on you and took the easy way out and became like one of them. What you don't seem to understand is that, that is not how it's always like. Not all girls are like that, not all guys are like that.

 

You want to know what I really think is 90% of the problem with you...is your attitude. I'm only trying to help in this, so don't get offended. You're surrounded by negativity, and you're letting it affect you. The best thing you could do, find a day, and get away from it all. I dont know if you can drive, or anything, just get away from normal life for a day and go do something away from friends, family, and your town. The problem that you really need to sort out is that you're letting it affect you, and that's not WHO you are. Just because everyone else has given up everything, doesn't mean you should. You seem to have really low confidence, especially with girls, and you need to work on that. Just like anything in this world...practice...you're not going to get better at it sitting back and watching the older 'jerks' go by and pick up girls. If anything, I don't like that you said that...that really signifies some jealousy...even if you won't admit it.

 

You care too much about what people think about you...you're not defining yourself. You let the thoughts and actions of others define how you act, because you're worried about what that 'random' girl over there you just passed on the street is thinking of you. And more than likely, from what you've said, you're always thinking 'bad' thoughts if you're wondering what she thought. Get over that, you're letting a girl you never even met control how you're feeling inside....what is that...please sit back and think about how that sounds. You wanna get over it, go talk to her, who cares if you 'screw up'...it's not going to matter. Go do it again and again...the idea that you get used to talking to attractive girls will only get easier. The other thing is that you're probably worried about screwing up, so in your mind before you've even said hello you've got yourself so worked up and nervous that you're shaking around her if you did go say Hi. Again, if you're doing that, you're letting her control you...and that's not you.

 

I could talk about this for too long probably...but your music can be an outlet, it can seem like it'll be the best you can do to deal with everything, when you really need to take everything head on and fix it yourself. Stop letting everyone else control how you feel...go do something about it.

[Shinobie]

Dude lol no way am i jealous of those older guys of what i was talking about.These girls are 13 and im no pedophile at all.I just basically look at them like kids.These guys are like 19 going for them thats 6 years.And in teenage years i consider that pedophilism.IM 18 and would not go for a 14 year old at all.Maybe a 15 year old but that is only if they are really mature and remind me of an older person.Im usually more on 2 years younger only.Well yea i would feel jealous about all these guys gettings girls.For the fact that a lt of these guys are usually somewhat attractive to girls.Well im worried about screwing up and the fact that i am basically not attractive too like all girls.

[ShySoul]

Shinobie,

 

There are guys like you describe, and girls like you describe. It seems like they are everwhere. Your a person with high morals and alot of class, so that makes it hard on you when you see people acting like that. Often I've gotten down because of how much disrespect I see for others these days, and for how much people disrespect themselves. But you need to do is focus on the good, not the bad. Find examples of guys who do respect women and wouldn't treat them like you've described guys doing. Find examples of women who aren't just into sex.

 

they have prolly had sex like 10 times with different guys cause these jerks that are like 7 years older go and pick em up.

 

Can you prove that? Do you know for certain? Or are you just assuming it because it fits with the idea you have that everyone is just out for sex? There are probably plenty of good girls around you, but because you think they will all be one way, or even because experience has taught you that, you don't see the good ones.

 

The older women you talk to, do they also say they straightened out eventually? And ask them what kind of guy they ultimately wanted.... its going to be a guy like you. Your in a tough spot, too mature for most people you are around. But there are other good people like you, its just a matter of time before you find each other.

 

In the meantime, don't dwell on how bad things are. Focus on making yourself happy. Your more likely to meet someone who thinks like you do when you are focused on the things you like and when you are feeling good about yourself. You will find someone, and you will find people who aren't messed up like you described.

 

Oh ya, enjoy the singer. I've done that myself, found a singer that I would just listen to over and over and over and.... It's comforting. It since the girl I listened to is one of the good ones based on everything I know about her, it gives me hope that there are others like her.

[asdf]

Shinobie, what have you done to try to correct your situation?

[Shinobie]

Thnx for the very nice thoughts and points shysoul.And o yah nah i havent really done anything to correct the situation but i dont know what u mean by that.Like what do u want me to correct just my negative thoughts?Well as for bad stories once again.There is this girl at my work that had a bf.But im not sure if she does now.Well this guy i work with is like 20 has no ideas of college and is dishwashing reminds me of a druggy and plus hes the type that believes girls are just best for sex and nothing more.Well he claims that she was hitting on him.Shes a girl getting her things straight getting good grades and just about to go to college.Well he went out to her car when she was leaving and they were talking about for 20 minutes.Cause i was out there waiting for my ride.Im thinkings wow plz dont go for this guy!And another waitress at my work a young one.Said that she doesnt believe in falling in love at her age.And she goes from guy to guy to just have fun.I cannot find any girls that think the way i do at all.Well there has been some that were at my work but they were already engaged and one has a great guy for her fiance im happy for her.Ya lol shysoul how u said u had a girl a that u liked a lot too listen too.Anna Nalick is definitely the girl i liek to listen too lol.I love every single song on her cd and all of them have meaning and are beautiful and has the greatest voice ive ever heard.Shes the most beautiful person ever in my mind sure she is great by looks but on the inside makes her how beautiful i see her just by listening to her songs and looking at her diaries on how things are going on her singing career.Gives me hope for meeting girls out there like her.Seems like girls are hard to find but i bet there are plenty