Girlfriend wants a "break", what to think and do?!

[FCTex]

I'm new here, and I hope you all can help me out to sort these feelings.. I'll try to make it short.

 

Well, where to start. We'll call my girlfriend "J". J and I have been together for 1 1/2 years. I started working for her Dad, who is the CEO of a company about a year ago, I still work there now.

 

We met through a mutual couple, while in college. We're both 20 years old, she's in school, and I am not. What we had at first could be considered a long distance relationship. She was 3 hours away at school, and I was in the city, where her parents live.. We had a very close relationship, sexual active, very healthy, relationship. Not much of any fighting, or arguments. Small things, but nothing huge at all in the beginning. We both love each other, and have expressed it. We both bear promise rings given by each other.. When we first met, we saw each other ONLY on the weekends, as work/school and other things kept us busy, and the weekends were our time together. I would see her maybe, 2 weekends in a row, or 1 week, and take one off. It was mixed up, she'd come home to see me, I'd go there. We never stayed the night at our parents homes, but instead at friends apartments, and we partied and had fun with our friends.. That first summer was no diffrent. Hung out with our friends, but hung out with each other too.. never at our houses, but in mutual company's apartments. We'd meet up for movies, or quickie car sex in fun places. Then I met her parents, and she met mine after a few months.. She went back to school 3 hours away in the fall.

 

About this time, we were totally in love. Unseperable. We made other couples JEALOUS because of how things were.. We got into the habit of seeing each other almost every weekend. Alternating and working out when to come home and when to drive there. We had surprise visits, and the like. It was awesome. Spend the holidays with her family, stayed at her house over night several times.. Fun times. The next semester was no different.. Saw each on the weekends and holidays, and any day we could gather..

 

We havent had any problems with cheating really. She got drunk one night and was encouraged to kiss a roommates friend. She told me about the morning after, and was super upset about it. I was too, but I brushed it off in the name of love, and she's never really given me the feeling of being cheated on... I've never done anything as well. She enjoys to party and go out, and drink, and have a good time, as do I. She's very outgoing and friendly. I on the other hand, take a while to open to to people, and can be considered shy, and kept to myself until I'm comfortable. We've never broken up, taken a break, or considered it. We both agree we are in a serious relationship, and we have talked of a future together.

 

Now, here's the kicker:

 

Come May of this year, when school was ending, she was thinking of transffering to school.. Closer to home, and for her major, and career she wants to do, or thinks she wants to do. Plus it was a reason to be close to me, family, and friends.. She came home, and we spend every chance with each other. Every weekend, I stay the night at her house with her and her parents.. We still had sex, just not as frequent, and not a comfortable.. Over the summer, it got less and less, and was blamed on not being able to be affectionate because she's at her parents home. i agreed.. We hung out all the time though, she also started working at my place of work with her dad too. So we saw each other in the morning at times, all day, and all night, and did it a few times over.. I never had a problem with it, and she didnt seem to. We didnt argue much though.. I tend to get jealous easy because I have trust issues with my family that I think carry over(now fixed).. I also got a little controlling in that I hated her to leave me to go hang out with friends, so I'd try and make her feel bad, or call/text a ton while she was out.. It got to the point where to save face, she wouldnt even go out much, just hang out with me since I was alone.. A few weeks ago she went on vacation with her gay best friend, who is very close to her.. they partied all week with her family, she came home, and wasn't as thrilled to see me and I was her. She's been out with her friends alot since then, and we've hung out some, but not as much, and the affection level has dropped a decent bit... She told me sat afternoon that we needed to talk, as did I say that to her too. I wanted to fix our problems, and I wanted to talk about it.

 

She asked to take a break. Said that she wanted to think about us, because we are in a serious relationship, and that she wanted to think about alot of stuff, school, and her career choice, and stuff like that. She said she wanted to be alone, and that we'd take a break, but we would be no together. She said she wanted to still talk, and see each other, but not too frequent.. I cried. and she cried. I cried so much I could hardly drive back home. I was devestated. I'm so in love with this girl, I can't hardly explain it.. I'm praying that we get back together.. I just figured that she missed hanging out with her friends alot, and being able to go out and do what she wanted without having to check in, or hear me say something or feel like she had a boyfriend to talk to all the time. She's about to move to new apartment, with new roommates, to a new school, in a semi new town. I can understand where she's coming from. I just feel like she's getting her space, and I'm getting left to stew.. I've taken the time to work on my issues, my family, my jealousy, me not being who I was, and really am. I blame most of this on us hanging out too much, too fast, too long. We werent used to be joined at the hip, we had to have our friends, and our time to ourselves, which allowed us to love our time togehter when we got it... She said she's not dating anyone, because she wants to be alone. I'm waiting on her, and dont have the urge to go out to find anyone. I love this girl with everything I am, and want to be. I'd do anything for her.. She's still keeping in touch. I saw her at work for a few minutes on tuesday and sorta ate lunch with her. I will see her this sunday at chiurch.. She replies to my text messages very little.. and my phone calls go un answered for the most part. We talk on Aim, but I do most of the talking and she does some answering.. It's okay but it's not great. We still say I love you to each other, and she hugged me and I asked to have a kiss on the cheek at work the other day, and she did. Everything was okay, just awkward between us a little.

 

I talked to her, and asked if she wanted to get back and she said, yes, she'd like to try, but she wants time and space.. To be alone.. I just needed some hope. We agreed somewhat that when that time comes, that we'll try again, slowly, and steady, to start dating again, and get back into things, and I promised that i was not going to do some of the things I did. I've been counseling on this things a tad with friends and a pastor.. I believe we'll get back, as she didnt make me get my clothes from her house, just a few I left and wear alot, and she washed and folded them. I have clothes and bath stuff in her room as well. Our pictures are still around in her room, or so they were, and she still wear the solitare promise ring I got her.. I still have a key to her house as well. These things just make me feel like if she didnt love me, and didnt care, that she'd just end it now, and we've trade our items back to the other person. I also work with her dad, and will see her, and see him, and her brother from time to time at work.. I wouldnt totally disappear from her life, so part of me things that after a year and a 1/2 of invested time, money, friends, and love, that she wouldnt "lead me on" through all this only to have someone else, or decide that she doesnt want me anymore..

 

 

I can't eat, sleep, and hardly can work. I get super depressed, and I cry all the time when I'm alone.. I've been going out with friends, but not too much due to work and time.

 

What would ya'll do? I'm waiting on her no matter what, but as far as contacting her, or her me. Wait for her to call/text? Should I act like I dont care and give her all the space, or should I subtly stay in contact and be charming when the time is right? I want to know when to make the move to try again.. Anything!?! I'm grabbing at all the hope, and I'm praying so much for all of this that it's breaking me down.

 

Thanks everyone, God Bless..

 

Sorry this was so long, it feels good to type it all out.

[melrich]

Yeah it's a long post but my answer is short. Just give her space.

 

Who knows if you'll ever get back together. One thing is for sure, if you act need and desperate now, your chances will reduce.

 

You have to be strong and let her come to you if that's what she wants.

[FCTex]

Thanks..

 

I can't help but feel like I caused this, even though she never said that.. I have some small underlaying issues with my trust in my family, and my self worth. I'm working on them now, and doing very good at it.. So I feel as though, soon when she's ready, I will be too..

 

 

Thats what I figured to do. Give her space and time.. I'd like to see her at church if thats the only way, an hour together in church doesn't seem like a bad idea. She agreed to go with me. I am however, going to try and avoid any other contact, unless she initiates.

 

We still love each other. I know it.. She is a very tender hearted girl, and I just can't see her doing this to me, if her heart was still in it for us..

[Bounder]

Long post, but well written my man....I bet it felt get to get it out. Hmmm, well, as a fellow 20 something all I can say is that she is hitting a stage in her life of some sort....career, relationships, school, whatever can make a person flip out at this age....and second guess what they are doing. It is NORMAL and healthy.

 

However, she needs to be honest with you and not string you along too much. She knows you love her, knows you'll wait....you probably dont need to show it too much. When she says she wants to be alone, its not because she just wants to be with friends, you said yourself she had started doing that more and you noticed a change for the worse, its because she needs to see what she is like without you. Maybe she means it when she says she wants to be alone, and I dont doubt that she isnt dating anyone right now, but when they say they want to be alone.....there is always that possibility in the back of their mind. Maybe she just needs to see what is out there.

 

Put yourslef in her shoes. Shes not sure about what she wants in life, but loves you, but maybe doesnt feel IN LOVE with you, you know? Shes doesnt want to hurt you, especially with how intertwined your lives are (work, chruch etc.) so she is taking a soft approach. Maybe one possibility....but if you cling too hard, and it turns out she was trying to be easy on you...it will hurt even worse.

 

Get yourself to a place where you are enough without her. It hurts, you'll miss her (I miss my ex all the time) and feel alone and maybe rejected (even though she has done this quite nicely so far) or want to know what you did wrong, how you can fix it. Dont ask her. I fight that problem every day. If she wants to be alone, its because she doesnt want to try and "fix" things right now. One day she very well could, but right now its just too hard for her and it seems to be not what she needs.

 

People (including myself) will tell you to focus on what you need and want right now, and you will likely answer, its her that I want, so how does that help? What else though.....fi she really is everything in your world....that you have no sense of identity outside of it....thats a problem worth looking into during this time apart.

 

Expect nothing and see what comes.

 

I hope that helps.....people here are great and we want to help.

[sizzle2028]

i guess i woudl agree with that answer. give her space. but honestly im a girl and if i did that to a guy.... it would be over... not saying thats how she is. because i know a couple who stayed apart for 6 years to get abcak together again because they wanted to fullfill their life and get the careers they want and experience their life. although they dated inbetween... they love each other more now then they did before....

 

my boyfriend dumped me, i broke off alll contact and 15 days later.....he was comin around again... so it all depends on the person... if u think that she is sincere then stay in touch like ur doin. just dont text her because texting is too much.. just talk online or email thats all u need to do. unless u got something exciting to tell her then call her.

 

but my ex boyfriend broke up with me sayin we needed a break... i saw him a week later at a carnival with a girl on his arm.... our relationship was trusting until i found out about all the lies on all the lies.. ok ok enough about that..... but ya if u want to give her space but stay in touch emails or aim is the way too go... but it all depends on her.. and how well u know her... so all u have to do is realize that life goes on with or without her. everything happens for a reason. and if she loves u as much as she says she does. she will realize what she lost and come crawwwwwlign back hehe ... just dont be too needy....

[goddess23]

hey. ya i want to just add to sizzles post. because i dont want you to just think merrily...the fact of the matter is she may have simply lost the feelings she had (not IN LOVE ANYMORE but still loves you) and this is an excuse shes using, maybe even to herself! all im saying is that after my bf dumped me (VERY SIMILAR SITUATION in the sense that at 16 we were in love he was part of my family i mean it was serious we knew eachother for a good 3 years and all that) after he went on vacation (ahhh dont you hate vacations loL!) and during the oh say hour long convo his answers went from "i just need time" to "i just dont know how i feel anymore". and i dont know how, but i never stopped loving him but i did this much : i told myself it was OVER i told myself its no longer a relationship and despite the dreams of us once again uniting i truly believed it was over even though he gave me lil signs to make me think it wasnt. i mean even the breakup wasnt a real ITS OVER FOR GOOD DONT WAIT kinda thing. and ill tell you that mindset i had helped me ALOTT and thats the one real piece of advice i can give you. you have to tell yourself its over. this way you can begin to move on so that if you dont get back together its not like starting from the day after you broke up ya no? and ya you definitely wanna keep yourself busy and just not msg her or call her too mcuh. if she wants to talk great. you know what the first couple of weeks after my breakup we stayed REALLY CLOSE talked like we were still together and as we started to drift it hurt so bad i cried so much but i said to myself "if he doesnt care, why should i show him that i do". if its going to drift let it drift. its REALLY DIFFIUCLT i know but you have to be strong. sorry for my babbling but i think its helping lol. but yeah tell youreslf its over and tryyy and move on and keep yourself busy so that you dont feel tempted to call or msg her. if you're sitting at your comp or staring at your phone theres NO WAY you wont contact her. slolwy but surely you'll get used to it. but ya its great to trust her and what not but its very possible she really just doesnt want to completely hurt you and is giving you a sugar coated break up. so thats why you shouldnt keep your hopes up. btw for tthe record me n my bf are back together and pretty goood. and i asked him the other day "did you ever think we'd get back together?" and he said " no i really didnt"...and that reminds me of the breakup...he didnt have intentions of getting back together. so yeah if its meant to be itll happen. i mean i really just let go and started to move on and then one day we just started to click all over again. stay strong, move on consider it over it was great and it leaves you with beautiful memories and has made you who you are today.

[Bounder]

Beautiful post goddess, not because you got back together as many of us scour this site looking for, but because you accepted it, no matter what he did. I am trying to get myself to that place too.....

[goddess23]

thanx for the compliment bounder. im glad my post could help someone or at least shed some light on a situation you have. it is very difficult and very painful. the only thing to do is to have the mindset i mentioned and keep busy. good luck to you all

[SlipperySammy]

Are you worried she is hooking up with some other dude...or dudes?

[heloladies21]

Don't even go to chirch with her. When you see her it will set both of you back further. Do No Contact strictly. Let her come to you and try to win you back. She's the one who called it off so it's her job to convince you she deserves another chance.

[FCTex]

Thanks for the replies..

 

I talked to her on AIM last night for roughly a few minutes.. I did most of the typing, and she responded, and typed a little.. Just normal hows it going, how are you. I had a friend tell me that on her facebook profile, it said she was dating some guy.. I asked her about it, and she said it was just being funny. The guy is older and goes to school farther away. I asked how she knew him and she said, she met him when her and her friends were out in the city one night dancing, or something. I can't get jealous, even though I am. She said she's just having fun, and that she wasn't dating anyone at all. I told her she could be honest if she was, I mean, after all , we arent together right? She said she was serious, that she wasnt dating anyone. She was just going out with girlfriends, and her gay best friend. I'm not upset, or jealous about it though, maybe a little jealous, but I think thats only natural. I honestly, think she added that guy as her "relationship" to avoid people hitting on her on the facebook, or friends asking her whats going on with us..

 

She seems okay I guess, just going out, not sitting at home and the like. I think she really just wants to get with friends, and hang out, have fun, and not be too serious with things, considering she'll have to with school starting and such.

 

I respect her though, and I trust her.. And I seriously doubt that this 'taking a break' was just a lame excuse to let me off easy, in which it wouldnt be.. She's sincere I think, and unless she just pulls something off totally unlike her, I think she's just really not wanting to be tied to something right now. I think she wants her freedom, and I didnt let her feel like she did lately.

 

I'm doing better about it. I think about it so damn much it's unreal, but at the same time, I'm not getting too upset over it, I'm past the crying for the most part. I'm not mad at all eitheir. Infact, I'm just helping myself out with personal things, and issues, and just re assuring myself that things will be okay in the future.. AND, that she and I will be back together... Because I know it'll happen..

 

Slippery, I'm not worried she's hooking up with dudes, or a dude. I can expect her to go to partys and drink, and hug on old guy friends.. I can maybe even see her going to a club and dancing on a guy, or guys, or possibly harmless flirting, because after all, she is single now, so it's okay somewhat. I dont see her having sex, or doing anything like that. She used to go out in HS, and first year in college, and drink, and date alot, one or two one night stands, that sort of wild thing. She got date raped one day though, a month or two before we met, so I think she's a little more cautious with getting too close to strangers. Plus I'd like to think she's gotten better morals from our time together.. I also believe that she's got her heart still invested in us, because you have to respect someone if your still stringing them along.. Well, you dont have to, but it's usually the case to atleast care what the other person thinks.

 

Thanks for the help everyone. I really believe her and I will be okay, because if she wanted to end it, and wasn't in love with me anymore, she would have. She's told me that before.. She told me we'd never take a break, unless there was still love between us, and something to work on. I vividly remember that being said.. She would still want to be on good terms with me too, so dragging this out, or dating other people and lying, don't seem like the way things are going. I think she wants some time, and then she'll start talking to me again. I'll wait until then. I do think I'm going to go to Church with her, atleast this sunday.. Just to see her, and possibly judge how she is, how she acts. I want to get a feel for her, because I can read her pretty good I think.. And maybe she'll be ready to talk, who knows.. We aren't on a NC basis, we both said we'd still talk, and see each other, just not like we have, and not like a couple, atleast till some time goes by and she feels like we can get the green light to work on stuff together.

[FCTex]

Update for those who care,

 

I havent talked to her much of any. I talked to her on AIM thursday or something, shortly, few minutes. Nothing really new, said she was just out having fun with her friends, and the like. I said me too.. She told me she wasn't dating anyone when I asked.. Asked if she was going to church on sunday, and she said yes, more than likely..

 

Fast forward the weekend. No contact, nothing. I partied all weekend, hung out with old friends. Go to church sunday morning, left her an open seat. She didn't show up.. Dont know why, kinda upset about it, but figured she was prolly at home packing stuff and getting ready to move, or she was out late with friends, or something.

 

I ended up calling her after church, she didnt answer, and I left a short message saying that "I was sorry i missed her at church, but that it was okay. wanted to know if she'd like to get a bite to eat and visit for a little while, while i was down there. I told her that I hoped she was doing good and everything, and that I was sorry I called bcause i dont want to bother her, and that i really didnt want to call, but that I missed her and loved her. and that when she wants to, she can give me a call and lmk how everything is."

 

I thought it was a decent message. Didnt come off as desparate, or bothersome, I was just curious how things are.

 

Anyone have some insight?

[goddess23]

ouch. sorry fct but that phonecall did not come accross as too low key. its great that you have so much faith in her but im going to stick to the original advice on creating a new MINDSET and trying to move on like hanging with friends was a good thing. let things flow if she doesnt contact you dont make such an effort to contact her. i know to you it doesnt seem as much that little phone call and i know it isnt THAT MUCH but with time tryyy and make it so that you contact her because she contacted you. or if you really have something to tell her or some business with her. no "how you doing, just wanted to call to see whats up" kind of stuff. it really seems like right now she doesnt have any interest in keeping up a relationship (even a strong friendship at this point) and to be honest it really isnt possible so quickly. give it some time, then build on a friendship again and maybe even a relationship but as i said its better to focus on moving forward.

[FCTex]

Thanks..

 

I dont agree on the friendship part.. Her brother and I talk from time to time on AIM, and he said that she usually tells him everything, and has in the past about her dating, and stuff... And that, she just told him that we were on a break, and that she needed some time alone. He asked if she was with someone else, and she said no.. He was asking what happened between us, and she didn't really wanna talk about it. It seems like she's upset at whats going on, and is fighting herself over this.. She's hurt because I'm upset, and she knows it, and that she's upset too, because she doesn't want it to be like that. She's avoiding speaking to me right now, because she thinks it'll make things harder at the moment, because it only has been a week.

 

I'm trying to move on, but I dont really want to right now. I don't think I'm at the point to write everything off and move on. I'm gonna see another week, since she's moving in to her apartment this week, and going outta state with her family for the middle of the week till the weekend... Maybe some time without her friends around her, will leave her with some time to reflect. Her grandparents like, and I'm sure they are going to ask, because they were expecting me to come...

 

I just dont want to move on right now, becuase i still dont feel like we're done with this chapter.. I'm just gonna fight contacting her, atleast until next week. Then after that, if I get nothing, I'm just going to have to cross that bridge.

 

Anyone else have comments? I really need them right now. I'm kinda down on myself this evening.

[Bounder]

Its good to set yourself small goals at first, like dont call her today, then dont call her for a week etc. There is a lot here thant no matter how much you worry about it, you still have zero influence over....namely her. During my first break up I pulled out all the stops of indirect contact....sent her flowers, little notes, pictures of our last trip that i had developed and she came back, but now that it is ending a SECOND time I worry that i may have pushed too hard and made it seem like I was perfect nstead of letting her come back on her terms, understanding what I had in me. Make sense?

[FCTex]

Bounder,

 

So your saying that you pulled all the stops out to remind her of the good, and the love, and she came back? But now that it's failing the second time, you lured her back, and not on her own terms?

 

I dont think I understand..

 

I want to remind her of our good times. I want to ask her if when she puts on that promise ring in the morning, does she think of me, and what it means. I remind her to look at my picture as she turns her alarm off in the morning. I wanna send her flowers for her new apartment to help liven up her new room. I wanna do all that. I WANT to do that. I don't want to beg her back, but I want to show her that whats in us, is good. really good.

 

She might very well be thinking about the good times, about how much we love each other, and the love we shared, and give each other. But I want her to know I'm thinkin of it to. That when we dream at night about each other, that we're really meeting in our dreams, dancing and laughing..

 

I'm setting things one week at a time, because I promise by morning, I'll have a new plan.

 

If she doesn't try to contact 2 weeks after the "break" Should I try? We're not on bad terms, so remember that. And it wouldnt be a full 2 weeks NC eitheir.

 

If she does call, should I no answer, or should I delay calling back/texting back? If she calls I'm gonna break my leg getting my phone out of my pocket..

[Bounder]

Well, our first break up was during exam and job aplpication time before the summer. I had been injured (fourh concussion playing soccer and suffered post-concussion syndrome for 4 weeks) and things had been very stressful. The romance got lots a bit maybe. So I tried to show her what I still had to give, could give and would give. I kept doing it when we got back together, but life sets in again, work, cleaning, etc.....I still did the things I do, washing her car, making her dinner (I wasnt working a schedule job like she was), taking her to the theatre, going hiking, walking, kayaking, having little romantic nights together....and she still left, which makes me thing maybe she got so excited seeing my good stuff during the break up, she forgot about the "bad" in me that she saw....thus the lured idea.

[FCTex]

Well.. Update.

 

 

I saw her at work this afternoon.. I couldnt help myself, so I went to go talk. She was in her car talking to some guy she's been hanging out with and meet at a club. We talked, it was normal.. little odd, but normal..

 

I then brought up the NC between us. Asked why, and she said it wsa for me. I told her it was hurting me and that she can't just hide and sweep aaway all this crap. She said okay.. and I proceeded to ask about her dating other people, what was going on, why the "break"?? She just finally came out and said that she thought we were diffrent people and that she started to realize that about the middle of the summer... I felt hurt to hear it, but good at the same time.. I told her I'd always love her, but that she needs to be honest with me. Have some respect for my feelings, because she's not..

 

I had to go back to work, so we talked on text for a little. She finally said that right now, she doesnt want a boyfriend, she wants to have fun. She also said that she didnt want to get my hopes up, of ever getting back together. Which she did.. She said that in the near future, she doesnt see it happening. She also said she'd like to be friends, and after some time, we can hang out, which I'm open to. We didnt have a bad relationship at all, I guess we both didnt come to terms I guess.. She said, who knows what the future holds, be both could get back, but for now, to not even think that, because it's not going to happen.

 

I prepared myself for it,and told her I didnt want her back right now etheir after hearing all this. I told her that I wanted time for me. I wanted to get back to me before all this. I told her I loved her, and that she was a great girl. But that she needed to have some respect for my feelings in this, and not to try to get out of this the easy gutless way.

 

So, she agreed to call me later, and I'm gonna just chat with her I guess, and clear the air, and get the mess settled. I'm not going to mettle in her current affairs and I'm not going to share mine with her eitheir.. I think it'll be a good step.

 

Ironically, I wasnt upset about hearing it. I guess I prepared myself for it, and couldnt be any more upset. I was mad, and hurt by the fact that I felt like our last weeks, or months, werent happy and just made to be..

 

Who knows.. I'm okay right now. I wanna be her friend, and hang out when the time is right. I'm a successful 20 year old chemist, who's got something going for me.. She'll realize how great of a guy i was to her, and her wellbeing, and she'll only realize that when she gets hurt. I'll miss her though.

[Bounder]

Hres a tough conlusion I have been struggling with. Whta if it doesnt matter how good we were to them.....like we're just not the ONES they wanted. We could be perfect, and something in their chemistry would just say, nope, sorry.....bummer of a thought, but maybe necessary to move on. What do you think?

[FCTex]

The conclusion I'm gathering is about the same..

 

I believe that everyone is different. But in a relationship, you have to give, change, and shift atleast SOME, to make things work.. You have to grow on your own, but also together.. if someone doesn't do that, it wont work.. You naturally don't have a chemistry with someone..

 

I do believe that it could always be the case that some people just don't know what they want. It changes, every day, every week, every year. And you can't change like that for people.. Her and I got along great. I dont think we ever had a real fight for atleast months.. Like 6+. And we settled them right then and there. Apologized and everything. Sometimes it was in person, others on the phone.. We had MIND BLOWING sex. I'm talking, make you feel like a heart ache was coming on, and huge quantities of it. We definitely gave each other the #1 rank in that department, and never, never complained about it( unless the last few months she was home, it dropped off). We had the same tastes in music, and personal politics.. I just didn't really like to go out all the time, I didnt like to be super social, and to go out dancing, and clubbing. It was okay, but not something I preffered to do. She liked that..

 

I guess what I'm getting to is..you can't really tell.. People change, and what you want out of it changes.. You just can't shift like that for people, and if you do, you'll never be happy yourself. You just have to find the right person, who with you, can change slightly for each other, in the right times in your life to make it work..

 

Just remember.. And I learned this, this week.:

 

You were YOU, before you became part of US.. You can't lose yourself in the relationship, and you can't force to change someone in it with you..You have to compromise, but you can't become something they invision for you. So even if you are perfect, if thats not what they invision, it can't be.