Gf doesn't want me coming to her birthday!...

[SadHatter]

OK here's how it is...

 

Basically, it's my girlfriend's birthday on Monday and so she's going out on Sunday evening with about 20 of her friends (guys and girls) on a drinking session, ending up at a club. She's 17 (yes, not even legal to go clubbing, but I don't think that stops most people!).

 

I am 22. We've been together nearly six months, but the relationship hasn't been without it's problems...she argues a lot about nothing, trivialities, which frustrates me (she has a really bad temper and will change at the flip of a coin) and we've had issues about her ex-bf. Basically, she's been out driving with him until 3am on three or four occasions! Makes me livid! I find it a bit of a cheek to be honest but she says he's her friend and she refuses to stop being friends with him. And he is going on Sunday, even though she knows how I feel!

 

Despite all this...I still find I love her - I must be crazy, everyone else thinks I am!

 

Anyway, today, she asked me to go to hers to which I said I can't as I don't have any money and I literally don't have a penny to my name at the moment (I've just finished university) to get buses or taxis. She threw a tantrum and hung up.

 

Next thing, I receive a text message from her saying that she doesn't want me going to her birthday on Sunday. So I ring her and say, "You're telling me that you don't want me going to your birthday?" and she said "Yeah, because you'll ruin it" and I replied, "What on earth are you talking about?" - I really don't have a clue. Anyway, I said "That's nice, you claim you love me and yet you don't want me there for your birthday, but you want everyone else there - including your ex-boyfriend!! She replied, "Yep, that's right" and was basically being extremely arrogant on the phone and smarmy because she was with two of her girl friends. So, I replied, "Well, if you're telling me you don't want me at your Birthday then I think we might as well end this now" to which she replied, "OK then, bye" and she hung up.

 

I basically just think what a coincidence that she's done this when she's going out on Sunday with her mates - she always seems to cause an argument like this so she can dump me and then go out pulling and say, "We weren't together" and then she comes running back the next day.

 

Anyway, I just want to see if people think I've done the right thing here by telling her to forget the relationship?

[hockeyboy]

i think she's to young for you and what you need.

[boomer1619]

read your post again, then i fyou still find that you wanna be with thius girl, I will officially label you crazy. Come on man, no one should have to deal with anyone like that. I dont care how hot, gorgeous, sexy a girl is. I dont care how great the sex is, she is not good enough for ANYONE man. Get awayu from her, and let her stick her birthday up her rear end. Go find a sweetheart, and take her out, and treat her like its HER birthday, and see what kind of respect you get. Best of luck, soirry so harsh, but Im gonna tell people like it is.

[Iceman26]

Agree with Hockeyboy. You need someone on your maturity level, plain and simple.

[SadHatter]

Nah, thanks mate, much appreciated for your honesty! Personally, I can't see how she can say she loves me and treat me like that!

[Vert]

Wow, I feel for you dude because when I was 23 I dated a 20 year old and she was exactly like this (blew me off for parties and clubbing). I look back and think of how incredibly stupid and soft I was with her... Seriously stand up for yourself and tell her that you're done with her. You tell yourself you love her, but I don't think that's the case. Are you two in a sexual relationship?

[SadHatter]

Yeah Vert, we are, sex is really good actually

[misery12]

Sex is good with many woman out there, don't settle for a ***** like this.

She's a lunatic, and you should have no business with her.

IF she contacts you, I'd suggest that you either don't reply, or say something along the lines of... "hopefully you realize you can't treat people like this, maybe this will be your wake up call..happy birthday".

 

I'd suggest you don't say anything at all though.

So many people (including myself) think of ways to get back at their ex and make them feel bad.. but if you try too hard, it only ends up with them mad at you, and not regretting their decision the least. The SMARTEST thing you can do... is to never talk to her again, unless she totally turns around for the best.. she'll know why.

[Vert]

Your situation is exactly like mine in the respect that I was holding on to a crazy girl because she rocked my world sexually. I didn't want to lose that at the expense of being treated very poorly. However, as misery12 just pointed out, there are plenty of awesome women that will thrill you sexually but aren't complete basket cases.

[SadHatter]

Thanks guys, I'll take that on-board!!

[Day_Walker]

Im not going to say that she is too young for you but she is definitely too immature to handle any kind of real relationship. Your relationship with her seem volitile and thats not a good thing, you may love this girl but at one point you need to realize that she isnt right for you. Look at the way she acts and then you just end up taking her back. She obviously doesnt know what she wants but is just concerned with what feels good at the moment. Now if you want to continue having a volitile relationship with this girl then feel free.

[RayKay]

Dump her butt.

 

She sounds way too immature and selfish quite honestly. I am sure the ups and downs are almost like a drug, which keeps you there, but rollercoaster relationships are not healthy, especially since she seems to clearly disrespect you and your relationship.

 

I am friends with an ex too, but honestly if I ever put him BEFORE my boyfriend, I would hope my boyfriend would have the backbone to put me in my place and not stand for that.

 

You may love her, but that does not mean she is right for you, or this relationship is right/healthy. You deserve someone compatible on all levels, respectful, honest, committed, caring, loving....she is not it.

[MetallicAguy]

She is way too immature and is a total *****. I think you should never talk to her again. Your better off just asking a girl out you find interesting and having a good time with her.

[SkyFire]

Why do you put up with this?

 

First of all, she is out with her ex at 3 am and refuses to stop seeing him as a "friend". This should be a major warning sign bro. If a chick has guy friends, then w/e, but if she is hanging out with a guy she used to **** and refuses to stop seeing him, not cool at all.

 

She doesent want you to be at her bday because she is most likely cheating on you. Also, what is a 22 year old doing with a 17 year old? You can go to jail for stuff like that.

 

I think you know what to do.