Anyone, please help.

[CassieL45]

I don't know what to do. I'm 16. Yesterday, my boyfriend of 1 year and 3 months broke up with me. I feel so lost. I faked my way through the day but nothing is right becuase I can't call him and talk to him and hear his voice and tell him I love him. He always told me he loved me and needed me and wanted to be with me forever. I feel so betrayed, like he never meant any of that. He siad the realtionship was too much work, and not worth it to him anymore. He said he knew I was unhappy to. To eb fair, there were times when I was unhappy because he was always screwing up, but I alwyas forgave him because I loved him. I want to call him and ask him if he thinks there will ever be a chance of a future for us, but I'm afraid of what his response will be, and I don't want to be a pathetic ex who's trying to cling on to nothing. Oh my god he is my world. He was my best friend. We talked for hours and I told him eveyrthing. I have no idea what to do. The pain is so incredible, I can't bear it. There was so much we were supposed to do together. Now he might go to a different school in the fall and I can't stand the thought of not being able to see him everyday. Oh god, please help me, anybody, I just want to die.

[studygirl]

Your feelings right now are so normal. Whatever you do, don't become a clingy ex who begs him to come back. Maybe he just needs some time to figure himself out. I have had situations like this in the past where a week or two later he realizes what he is missing and begs me back. For me, the time alone made me realize that I didn't want to be with him anyway. But, the initial shock and hurt is extremely painful, and there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling. This next week will be really tough for you and you should try to surround yourself with good friends and family who care for you, and can help occupy your time. The more you sit around and feel depressed, the worse it will be. Good luck!

[Tigris]

I'm sorry this has happened to you. But it happens to all of us at sometime in our lives. Try and keep your mind busy and it'll help you to cope. Have you got a hobby that can keep you busy?

 

I know you need our help but there's nothing we can do for you.

 

Take care.

[Goincrazy]

I know you'll find the strength to get through it. It's hard to think of being alone b/c you have been with him for so long. Just give it some time and things will get better

[Celadon]

I've been there, too, Cassie. Hang in there. My first major breakup, I felt like I was going crazy. I had invested SOO much of myself in him and in the relationship, it was like my heart had been ripped out, thrown on the floor and jumped up and down on.

 

But you know what? You're stronger than you think. And your world does not revolve around him, it revolves around YOU sweetie. You're still the same person you've always been. Still a daughter, a sister, a friend.

 

If you have girlfriends you can confide in and cry with, please call them. Sometimes, a girl just needs to vent, and that's perfectly okay.

[CassieL45]

Thank you all for posting. It means a lot that you are all so nice to me about this. Against my better judgement I left him a voicemail, saying that I felt no closure and maybe we should talk, among other things. He responded with three long messages saying he does want to talk, becasue "things need to be said"....whatever that means. He added that he felt trapped in our relationship and that I became too high matenance. I understand why hes saying this, because I used to get mad at him when he wouldn't call me for a few days, but it was because I wanted so badly to at least talk to him when I couldn't see him and I was hurt that he didn't want to. I keep thinking of all the places where I went wrong and was too hard on him. But the thing is, when he did something that hurt me, I always told him. I'm the kind of person that would much rather fight about something and then get over it instead of letting it sit to spare the other persons feelings. His break up was so sudden, he never mentioned any problem, and this is why I am angry. If a month ago he had told me he felt I was being too high matenance and he felt trapped I would have respected him telling me that and worked hard to improve so that our relationship would work. Instead, he didn't say a thing and let me go on believing, happily, that he still loved me as much as always. Am I in the wrong here? Please be honest. Should I bother with meeting him and trying to clear the air or should I just separate myself? My only fear about meeting him is that he will want to finalize the split while I will just be wanting to get back together. I don't think I can't take being dumped again. He says he "really doesn't know" what will happen between us, and if we'll ever get back together. He said it "might be the biggest mistake of his life" but on the other hand he "might be happier now". That just killed me when he said that. I appreciate your help so incredibly much, it feels so good to know someone understands how I feel right now.

[Bounder]

I am beginning to think the dumper saying "this might be th ebiggest mistake of their life" is a selfish cop out way of trying to console the person, what do youguys think?

[CassieL45]

It bothers me becaus eit leaves the possibility of reconciliation, instead of giving ultimate closure that can allow me to move on. It has to be one way or the other, you know?

[CassieL45]

I know that nobody has yet posted a reply to my last comment, but I am going ot keep writing to try and make myself feel better. I need to talk to him soon because I need to ask him one question that will bring me closure, and that is whether or not hw ultimately wishes he could be with me. Like, is this breakup because he wants to be with me but something is not working? Or is it because it no longer works and he no longer wants to be with me. I know that logci would dictate that if he ended it he wanted it to end, but I have so much history with him and we're so deeply connected that its hard for me to believe he doesn't want it to work deep down. The messages he left me, while painful in many ways, were also telling of the fact that, like me, he still wishes we could tlak the way we did before. I want to know whether or not he misses me. I can't bear the thought of him being happier without me. That is what kills me the most. Its one thing to feel like you need to break up with someone, but its quite another to be relieved and happier out of a relationship where you told the girl that you loved her everyday. That probably doesn't make any sense but oh well, it does to me. Oh god I don't know what to do I feel like this must be a bad dream or something. I can't go another night without talking to him. I need to clear the air, to get things out in the open, to have a conversation where I can keep it together and stay emotionally sound, as opposed to the one where he broke up with me, where i swore at him and called him names and sobbed. I'm feelign so crazy right now. And it kills me that hes not feeling this way. At least, I'm pretty sure hes not. I've always been that girl who boys thought was nice but never really liked. Instead of flitting from crush to crush, I always had deep, serious crushes where I would be so intensly hurt by the fact that a particular boy didn't like me back. "M" was the first guy who ever liked me or asked me out. Now my biggest fear is that he will be happy with this breakup and will move on while I am stuck, still in love with him and once again caught in the grips of unrequitted love for the first time in a year and three months.

[Bounder]

He might not be able to answer those questions right now, or ever

[Celadon]

Yeah, I know what you mean, Cassie. Sometimes the worse thing about a breakup is wondering if you meant anything to him. I'm gonna say to you that it probably DOES feel like he owes you an explanation, and in some ways, he does, but like Bounder says ... your ex may not be able to give you what you need to hear. That's probably the hardest part of it.

 

That was the way with my ex. I didn't understand why he couldn't just say what he thought ... that he needed to be with a different type of person, or that he felt our personalities were not compatible, or that he had just given up hope. ANYTHING would have been good.

 

It sounds your ex doesn't have any ways to solve the problems in your relationship. He just knows he doesn't feel good and he doesn't have the energy or will to make it better. For his own sake, he's gotta break up.

 

Like you said, that may not be fair, because he didn't tell you how he was feeling. But -- no offense -- as a teenager he may not be that mature. And even though you deserve to be treated better, he's not able to handle it right now.

 

I'm serious about how you should talk to people and spend time with others and see how you're connected to other people too. The problem when a couple goes out is sometimes their identity gets wrapped up in the other person, so suddenly when they break up, the girl not only misses the guy, she also feels like she doesn't have any joy in just being who she is anymore.

 

Finally, I just wanted to say, I'm sure he misses you too and that you really meant a lot to him. It may not show, but it's there... he's hiding it better than you, that's all. Hope some of this helps you.

[CassieL45]

Thanks for the advice, it really truly does help.

 

I feel so much better today. I didn't cry last night hardly at all, and while my day at work had some upsetting moments (A sappy song played and I felt sad, a customer had the same cologn as my ex and I felt sad) but I genuinely feel good today. Not overwhelmed and upset like the past couple of days have been. That being said, I am aggravated because my ex, we'll call him "M" has begun to do what he constantly did during our relationship- telling me to call him and then not answering the phone/ turning it off/ letting it die/ forgetting it somewhere/ every other reason hes ever given. I really want to talk to him now that I'm so much calmer and finish straightening everything out. I still have a slight hope of reconciliation, but I am feeling more practical about those chances now. But I do really want to talk to him, and like always I CAN'T GET AHOLD OF HIM. I do not understand. This is the most bothersome thing. He did not return any calls even though he told me in exact words to "call [his] cell absolutely any time". I'm getting ticked off now. I don't want to be clingy or anything, but I legitimately just want to talk to him. Lay all my questions and concerns out and then listen to all of his, now that I'm calmer and won't let my emotions run away with me. And he stated many times in the messages he left me two days ago (the last I heard from him) that I should not feel pathetic or weird, and that he absolutely wants to hear from me and straighten everything out. I sure hope he calls back soon before I get angry and can't focus on the real issue.

 

Yesterday I was convinced that my plan of action would be to calmly state to him that if he is willing to try to make things work, I am completely capeable of swallowing my pride and apologising and trying my absolute best to make my side of the relationship perfect. I would also add that if this is not what he wants, he needs to completely end it, so that I can get over him without any lingering hopes or doubts. I know that this is much easier said than done, but I had determined my plan of action and I felt better for it. Today though, I am confused. I had a happy day. I didn't think about him as much. My mind was clearer. And now I don't know whether or not this is because I'm happy I found my course of action or if I'm simply feeling happier without him. I do know that, while I didn't let it upset or confound me, I did daydream about him alot at work. About him begging for my forgiveness and to make things work, but I don't know whether I dreamt this because I honestly want it or because I'm conditioned to believe that its what I want. I think that speaking to him and/or seeing him will help me figure out my emotions, whether or not I do want to try to fix it, ect.

 

To make it clear, in the messages he left me he was very unsure of the breakup. He said "I know I can't easily undue brekaing up with you, and I know that I can't take too long to decide because I can't keep you on hold." And also said that he "just doesn't know yet whats going to happen with us". I just wanted to say this so that you all knew that I wasn't trying to change his mind on a very firm breakup.

 

Is it normal to have a random good day? Can I expect a mix of both good and bad? Thank you so much for any and all advice, this is truly helping me get through this.

 

 

~Cassidy

[Celadon]

Hey that's great you had a good day, Cassidy! Yes! that's a real blessing.

 

I think everyone's different. Some people get over breakups quicker than others. Whatever time you need to take, take it. That's what I say.

 

If you're like me, you probably will have good days and bad days. After the break up with my ex, I remember feeling fantastic one day. I don't know what that was all about, but it sure was a relief! Then, I did have other days that weren't so easy. I don't know why that is exactly.

 

Supposedly there are these emotional stages that everyone goes through. I think they're like .... denial, bargaining, anger, sadness and acceptance. First you deny it's really happening, then you try to get control over the situation, then you realize it's probably really over and you get mad, then you mourn because it's over, then you accept it.

 

It's not necessarily a straight line from one to the other, but it just shows that we all have emotions and it's okay to feel things -- we all do. Even guys go through this, though they may not show it.

 

About your ex and him not answering the phone ... geez that would drive me nuts. Maybe you can say ... "call me at such-and-such time and we can talk. I don't want to keep leaving messages for you, but I do want to talk with you."

 

I really hope everything works out for the best for you.

[Bounder]

TRust me, gyus go through it too.....we're all over this site...maybe thats how we reconcil now showing it too much in publis is by coming here. Well, fo rme, I come here so I dont make a complete dork our of myself by caling her and thinking too much....I am still pretty obvious around my friends though

[CassieL45]

Oh god, I just want to kill him. Today, he comes into the store where I work and acts really happy to see me, is all smiles. Later, I call him (I FINALLY get through) and I tell him that we really do need to talk about everything. So we start talking. Or rather, I start talking becasue he won't say a thing. When he does talk, its to say things like "well I miss coke too but I still won't have it because I'm trying to get in shape" as a metaphore for how he feels about me. He also says that he won't ever try to see or speak to me again, even though last week he was BEGGING me to come over his house. When I ask how his mind has changed so quickly he won't answer. He gets angry and says I'm just hurting myself more, which is insulting because it says that he is not struggling at all. At this point I am just furious. I honestly wish I had broken up with him when he still liked me, as petty as that sounds its truly how I feel, because he legitimately DOES NOT CARE. He IS NOT BOTHERED. He finds me wanting closure bothersome, but that is it. He says in one breath that he absolutely does not want to get back together, and in the next says "maybe if I run into you later on in my life, I'll know that I still need you, but its time to move on." Is it just me or is this explanation extremely retarded? I ask him to stop saying things that sound like copouts to spare my feelings, and he says they are not. I just don't f*cking understand. The last time we hung out everything was perfect and happy. We made out for like four freakin hours later that night (which bothers me becasue I feel used, considering he broke up with me a week later). I asked him if he had fun that night. I promise I'm not trying to make him feel guilty, that I'm really going somewhere with it. He says yes, he really did. Then I ask him what in that following week changed. He said "the pressure of it all" and that having to call me was "like a homework assignment". I ask him why it was so much pressure for him, considering he did not call me all that week. I called him many many times and got no reply. Apparently, not talking to me is stressful enough to cause breakup. I guess I understand that it might be annoying for someone to call you so frequently, but it used to that be he'd always be calling me and I was thrilled to talk to him. I would get frantic when he wouldn't call for days because I literally NEED to talk to him when I can't see him, and the fact that he no longer needed that from me upset me. So I would call many many times, and leave up to four messages (over the course of the week- thats not TOO bad). The frustration of it all would make me b*tchy, that I admit. The messages would be mean ones. I used to threaten breakup, which makes me feel silly now because it was obviously an empty threat. He can't explain to me why his mind changed during that week. He said he'd call me when he had an intelligent response (which will be never- I honestly won't hear from him again), and he hung up. Now I am furious. The conversation that was suppose to clear the air made everything worse. And he can't understand why there is no closure but he is saying one thing (I never want to see you) than another (I still love you and want to be friends like always). I'm not dumb, i know some things are just him trying to spare my feelings, but at this point hes hurt me so much allready that I don't care, and I want the f*cking TRUTH DAMMIT!!!! God, I am soooooo frustrated. I have no idea what to do. He honestly does not care. He DOES NOT MISS ME. I AM GOING F*CKING INSANE. And hes blameing everything on me, when at no point during the relationship did he ever express that he was upset about anything. IF HE HAD TOLD ME I WOULD HAVE FIXED IT!!! THAT IS THE KIND OF PERSON I AM! I WANT TO BE TOLD AND I WILL MAKE IT BETTER! AUUGHHH!!!!! He is nothing but an inconsiderate, unintelligent, unreliable, lazy, irresponsible, rude, insensitive, assh*le.

 

 

So why the hell do I miss him so much, when he doesn't miss me at all?

[Celadon]

Hey again, Cassidy. I hope you're hanging in there. Sorry to hear the conversation didn't go well.

 

I don't know what to say, except I think you deserve to be treated better than that. I mean, let's put the latest conversation aside for a minute and talk about him not calling you when you were dating. A guy is perfectly capable of picking up a phone and having a conversation -- at least once or twice a week, you'd think.

 

So really, this is what my girlfriends told me as well, when my ex broke up with me. My ex did some stuff that really didn't show me much respect, too. He knew perfectly well what he *should* do as a bf, but basically, he didn't do it. So what choice do I have but to move on? Yes, I loved him, but he apparently didn't feel 100% the same. And I deserve better than to hang on to someone who is not going to love and cherish me and want to be with me. I think you deserve someone who is totally into you.

 

Of course it sucks right now. And I know how you feel because women tend to put a lot of themselves into relationships - lots of love and care. But you know - as much as it hurts, you can be proud of yourself for loving him. It seems like very little consolation, but really - if you feel like you did your best, then you're a better person than he is.

 

Love isn't about controlling the other person, but giving to him. If he doesn't have it in him to be loving in return, then it's his loss. Really, believe me.

 

I know you miss him, but stay strong. Things will start feeling better soon. We've all been through this too, and we've come out on the other side just fine. Maybe even a little wiser...

[Zerohero]

I am beginning to think the dumper saying "this might be th ebiggest mistake of their life" is a selfish cop out way of trying to console the person, what do youguys think?

 

 

It's not as bad as the "It's not you, it's me" kinda thing.

[saltwatergirl]

After awhile you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

 

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning

and company doesn't mean security,

 

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises,

 

And you begin to accept your defeats

with your head held high and your eyes open,

with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

 

And you learn to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.

 

After awhile you learn

that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

 

So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

 

And you learn that you really can endure ...

that you really are strong,

And you really do have worth.

 

And you learn and learn ...

With every goodbye, you learn.

 

---Author Unknown

 

Salt

[brando]

saltwaterm,

 

thats a great poem, so much truth in that.

 

by the way i like your quote as well.

 

thanks.

[CassieL45]

That is an amazing poem, it perfectly applies to my case and probably many others on this site.

 

Thank you for your advice too k8tie, I feel like I know what you're saying is true but I can't seem to get there yet, you know? I hope I can soon though, and I hope that like you said I am better off for having gone through this. There really were a lot of things he did wrong but I always looked past them, partially because "love is blind" and partially because I know about myself that I can be demanding, and I didn't want to push him away.

 

He hasn't called back and I've stopped calling him. And I'm not crushed about him not calling, which is a good thing. If I could get one more conversation in, than I'd be happy to stop calling alltogether. Well, not happy obviously, but more content.But I still want that last conversation to achieve closure. I hope I'm not sounding naive in assuming that it will be that easy, because I know deep down that it won't be. I wish I could have some sort of a fling or something, a cute crush to take my mind off all this but when you're 16, not allowed out after 11, and living in a town with a 5,000 population, thats not exactly easy. I think once school starts it will be better.

 

There's a possibility the ex won't be coming back to our high school this year. I dont' know whether or not this is a good thing or a bad thing. He would still be living in town (and our cape houses would still be on the same street - did I mention that?) so I would still run into him, but it would be rare. If all this ever settles, I would still want him around because he is my best friend, but I don't know if it ever will settle. Maybe seeing him everyday would just be too painful. And I'd rather he dated someone I didn't know at a different school that someone I did know that I would also be seeing every day. I know when he does start dating again its going to be hard for me, I easily get jealous. Any opinions on whether seeing him a lot or very little is best? I know I can't really control it, but if I thought it would help I could easily avoid him.

 

 

Going along with him dating other people, this sounds really dumb but I want to get it off my chest. I never had sex with him, but I always assumed my first time would be with him. I think that for at least most of the relationship he felt the same way. Now, chances are he will have sex sometime in the next year, given that we're almost 17 and he's a horny teenage boy. It kills me that it won't be with me. Something about that just absolutely rips me apart. I guess because sex is a big deal to me, and when we finally did do it I knew it was going to be important and special. I selfishly don't want him to have that with someone else. Is it normal for me to feel so strongly about this particular issue?

 

 

Your comments mean so much, I'm so glad that you all take me seriously even though I'm young. Thank you.

 

Cassidy

[saltwatergirl]

saltwaterm,

 

thats a great poem, so much truth in that.

 

by the way i like your quote as well.

 

thanks.

 

Thanks Brado! Im glad ya'll like the poem, I like it too.

 

Salt

[Katini]

I'm kind of in a similar situation. Particularly about the sex issue, but that's beyond the point.

 

my boyfriend of 8 months recently ended the relationship. It'll be three weeks on tuesday. It was mutual in some ways--We both recognized that there were problems, mostly relating to his going off to unveristy. I'm almost 17 and he's 18, and I think he was feeling held back in the relationship. This frustrates me because I do, in some way, feel that if he truly loved me like we said we did, he wouldn't have been pulled so drasticaly away.

 

HIS LOSS! I am fabulous.

 

Anyway, it's been very. As of yesterday morning, I had gone the ful 2 1/2 weeks with no contact, and it was a very emotional breakup night. there wasn't a lot of anger and I got in a last kiss and wow...it was quite crazy. But the days following were brutal, and like you, I've had good days and bad days.

 

Yesteday afternoon, I got a suspicion confirmed that he had gone out clubbing three nights after the breakup, gotten drunk, and made out with some random girls. This guy was honestly one of the nice guys when we started dating, and he still has a lot of it in him now. We're both Artsies-- met through a school drama club and such. We have some mutual friends and the thing that kept the relationship alive (besides some severe chemistry) Was our ability to understand one another. With all the little issues and problems we did have, we connected deeply underneath everything. He was my best friend after awhile.

 

Anyway, he has a problem opening up. And What happened was, I called him yesterday afternoon and set up a sort of meeting, which is happenning tomorrow. I feel like I've regained some control.

 

I msut be off, but I'll continue this soon. My question is: DO CLOSURE CONVERSATIONS WORK? I've had almsot 3 weeks of NC and I feel this is what I need, and I have no intention of begging for him back,

[CassieL45]

Unfortunately, I really can't answer that for you.

 

Just got off the phone with him. I called him not expecting him to pick up. When he did, we had a conversation like we always used to. It was fun, like it always was. We have the best conversations. Its one of the things I loved most about our relationship. The only thing I didn't like was that he casually brought up references to the fact that we were no longer dating. Saying things like "well I don't know if I can say this now that we're not a couple" or, "We're not dating anymore so I can say this", or "so are guys all over you and everything?", and "don't even mention anything physical" (still trying to figure out what the last one really means.) He so casually made these references, and while I casually played along and did not get at all upset, it still hurts me that he can easily say these things and not be at all hurt, and also not have the sensitivity to see that it might hurt me. I told him that I probably wouldn't be calling him again, and that talking to him like normal would be too hard, because he doesn't feel the same way I do. All he said was "okay". When he had to go I said I would be trying not to call him again. He asked if he could call me. I said "I guess....but I don't think you will." Not in a cruel way, but in an honest way. He said "goodbye" and hung up without saying anything else. I'm not sad, because the conversation was good, but I'm nowhere closer to having closure. What I want is to be able to have a serious conversation with him, but hes certainly not willing to do that now, and I'm thinking will not be willing to do it ever.

 

 

Gahh...I'm so confused. The conversation was so good, like always. It makes me wonder why things are so changed for him. Why is the conversation still so good yet he is not in love with me anymore? Yikes this is rough....

[Bounder]

Cassie,

 

I understand your pain on the closure front. I am still very confused about my brk up, a month ago tomorrow. I havent talked to her in person since I left to go visit family on July 2, the whole break up happened over the phone and internet while I was away. She has started building a new life, without me, and when I got back all she wanted was her stuff back and to move on. I am still in recovery mode and have questions, urges to call her and vent, or to just plain fight to get her back, even though everyone around me is telling me not to this time.

 

People cannot be forced into the roles we want them to play. Your ex may just be incapable of providing that ideal talk you're hoping for. Maybe that says more about him than you realize right now. Its a tough realization but in becoming your ex, he is no longer the boy you fell in love with, not completely. Who knows, maybe he will talk to you and you will get that sense after a talk with him one day of closure, but try and find ways for yourself too....writing, drawing, getting rid of things etc. Good luck!

[Celadon]

I completely agree with Bounder. He gives good advice, especially about how sometimes ex's aren't able to give us the closure we seek, so we must find a way to be at peace with it anyway.

 

I think I know how you feel, Cassidy. I dearly wanted to have a closure conversation with my ex, but he wouldn't give it to me. Not really. Not in a way that made me feel that he cared, you know? It hurt to realize that after all we'd been through together, he couldn't even tell me why he wanted to break up. I think he didn't want to face me. He was, basically, a coward.

 

But like Bounder said, we can't make people be who we need them to be. And those failings or weaknesses on their part become all the more apparent when it comes to break ups, unfortunately. A guy who knows he didn't live up to his girlfriend's expecations, for example, isn't going to submit himself to another conversation in which she tells him how he messed up. Maybe he should give her the respect by having that conversation, but he doesn't even want to go there anymore.

 

Cassidy, I think it's good your ex may be going to another high school, despite him being your best friend. He's sending you clear signals that you're not dating anymore, so I think it'll be easier for you both not to bump into each other. I can get jealous too, and I wouldn't want to waste any of my time wondering "who is he going to date next"? Yuck.

 

BTW, my ex was my best friend too, but women tend to respect the friendship after breaking up more than men do. IMHO. Based on my own experience, it's better to realize that he may not want to hold on to that friendship, than to believe that he *should* still consider me as his friend.

 

Also BTW, it sounds like you did fine in your conversation with your ex, Cassidy. You told him you wouldn't call anymore, and that sounds like strength to me.

 

So, about the sex thing. I wanted to say I'm actually GLAD to hear you didn't go all the way with him. My personal view is that sex is something totally special to share with the person who really loves you, and pretty much decided he's not going to walk away. As bad as you feel now, I think you'd be feeling 10 times worse right now if you two had been having sex.

 

There's this myth that "oh if only I had had sex with him, he wouldn't have left me." OK, that's a crock. First, if the guy is having sex with a girl, that doesn't mean he loves her. Second, it may even mean he's going out with her just because he wants to have sex. I've heard this straight from my guy friends. It sounds horrible, but blame it on the hormones.

 

I hope your closure conversation works, Katini. Best wishes on that. Cassidy and Bounder ... hang in there, guys.