i don't know what to do with my BF

[Babetears]

My bf and i had a talk on wednesday night (july 27th) about our relationship. i told him i can not stand it no more.. that he doesn't trust me and always wanted me to spend time with him... and what he is putting me through.... i told him i don't want to continue with this relationship... but he kept telling me to give him a third chance... sometimes i think he is not listening to me crying out that i need space and time for myself... so finally i end up telling him to give me one month of time to myself..... at first he did not want to but he finally gave up and agree to it.... but yesterday he saw me and told me he misses me a lot and he told me he is leaving... i was thinking what.. where is he leaving to.. but then he said he is going to the phillipines.... for 1 week only... and then later during the night he called me again and said he misses me.. and he try... and he is trying so hard not to call me at all but he can't stand it no more...but when he called me it make me feel more mad at him.. because he agree to give me one month but he is starting to call me again... i try to be nice but i don't know what to do when i just want to be alone for a period of time... i think maybe because he is pushing me to the limit that i can't stand it no more.... hope someone can give me some advice.. i really don't know what i am trying to say here.... please give me some advice...

[fIIsion]

This guy sounds really clingy, do you really want to end the relationship?, or do you feel like you just need some time to yourself before contiuning the relationship?

 

You need to be firmer with him and tell him straight, that if he does not give you the space you want, that you will break-up.

 

Perhaps you need to sit down with him and tell him, his clingyness will be the death of your relationship, sounds like he has some issues he needs to deal with.

[djedix]

He sounds like me.

 

I dont know how i became so obessed with my current g/f. We've had this talk a few times, how she wants her space... yesterday was the last chat, and I know if I don't give her that space, we're going to break up.

 

We need time alone, i need to be re-energized to my old self. One who wasnt so overbearing, and clingy. I guess i just got this way because i was so afraid of loosing her, and in the end it looks like i might have caused that. I've never been this clingy ever before. not with any ex. I need to get out of this funk, and i need to respect her space, just like your boyfriend has to accept.

 

I bet you guys never miss eachother right? (he might say he does, but i bet you never miss him?) I never miss my girlfriend.. she doesn't miss me, and i wish i did...

[Ontario]

Yeah, sounds like me too. I tend to get clingy with Ashlee, and if I do the littlest thing, I'm always saying sorry a thousand times until she's ready to strangle me.

 

One time, she got fed up and just told me to give her space.

 

I say, if he respects you (how many times have I written that line today?) he'll understand.

 

Or if he's anything like me, he'll flip out and ruin it.

[Babetears]

FIIsion: I don't know i feel like i have the urge to end the relationship.. but maybe because he is not giving me time... and plus he is the jealous type too... i did talk to him.. but he is not hearing me out... seems like he want me to do what he want but not what i want... so i had enough of what he want.. and think about what i want... and what i really want right now is some time to understand more about myself.... but i can't do that with him callin me all the time...

 

Djedix: i understand what you are trying to say... but the question is not because i haven't told him.. i did tell him.... but he is not hearing me out... he is not putting my words into consideration... he just want what he want... yea he is so afraid of loosing me... and that is what's going to happen if he doesn't stop the clingy... i do miss him sometime... but he always tell me he misses me... makes me thinks if he really does or not.. just like he always tell me he loves me... but makes me think if he does or not... from what i think the more you say you love someone doesn't mean you really love them... "I love you" is a special word... if you says it too much it's not special no more...

 

Ontario: yea i know... i feel what you saying "if he respects you, he'll understand" but i guess he is not.. since he is always calling and not letting me have my own time... when you say you always say sorry that is how he is too... always saying sorry to me...

 

i really don't know what i should do to get to him... about everything... maybe if i suggest him to come on here and read about advice people write down here maybe he will understand what i am going through... i don't know... and if i do, i don't know how to get him to get on here... any advice on that??? THanks guys...

[djedix]

Djedix: i understand what you are trying to say... but the question is not because i haven't told him.. i did tell him.... but he is not hearing me out... he is not putting my words into consideration... he just want what he want... yea he is so afraid of loosing me... and that is what's going to happen if he doesn't stop the clingy... i do miss him sometime... but he always tell me he misses me... makes me thinks if he really does or not.. just like he always tell me he loves me... but makes me think if he does or not... from what i think the more you say you love someone doesn't mean you really love them... "I love you" is a special word... if you says it too much it's not special no more...

 

How old is he?

 

You are right he is so afraid of loosing you. He wants to reassure you over and over and over that he loves you.. well guess what you're absolutly right. Over using "I love you" makes it mean nothing. Worrying about you leaving so much will make you leave... He needs to let go. He needs to realize that you too are dating. Your not married... you have to do what you gotta do for YOU, and yes he is here to enjoy the time with you, but it seems like he has made his world revolve around just you, and that's probally why he's going crazy, and over reacting. Tell him to go find himself again, the kid you first knew. Don't talk to him all the time, and use your space to cool down.. back away from him, dont say i love you back if he says it. bring it back down to a dating level, and see what happens. If he can't stop, then you'll have to make a decsion what to do...

 

how do i know? because i did that to my current G/F. right now we're not hanging out, or talking as much... I'm backing away so she realizes what i really am. I'm trying to stop thinking my world revolves around her, because it doesnt, it revolves around me.

[Babetears]

He is 27 going to be 28.

 

He keep telling me that i'm afraid of loosing you... i did tell him to take the month off to find himself... why is he doing this to me...and go out with his friends... he is just not listening... even his friends suggest to him for us to take time off cause we are having too much argument... but he did not listen to his friends.. he didnt want to listen to me too when i said to give me some time off...but he finally agree to it when he can't do anything...

 

another thing is he want to marry me... but i don't see myself marrying him... he kinda proposed.. but i refused... maybe it's me... when a girl get proposed they should be happy and say yes... but i refused...i think he is moving too fast... i've only been with him for a little over 1 year.....i feel that i don't love him the way i used to any more... maybe it's because of the way he is acting and the attitude...

 

oh well don't know what to do...

 

so how are you and your GF now... you guys still together????