Its all SPILLED OVER NOW Im So Angry and So emotional

[CATLOVER]

Hi There,

I broke up five weeks ago after 16months in a relationship. I made the break because he was a very bad choice on my part. I did care for him but I admit I never or I thought I never did open my heart up to him fully as I could see that the qualities needed for a healthy relationship were not there. So anyway I have been so good, ok I had the odd day here and there and a bit of a cry here and there but mostly i felt good. Even though he was calling I was doing NC thinking he would soon give up. In fact he did for about 4 or 5 days. The tonight he called and I thought it was my friend as we were in the middle of texting each other so I answered. Oh dear...so he wants to chat...I was very clear and probably quite straight forward in stating that I was not interested in his calls. Anyway he goes on a bit and then i just say i have to go.

Now this is the thing Im beside myself now.....The hugest wave of grief and pain hit me and I could just sob my heart out, even my soul feels in pain. THEN THE ANGER HIT.....he was just so awful for months at the end and did so many things to break my heart and now its all bubbling up. What Im feeling is actually more rage.......every cell in my body hates him and detests him for hurting me so bad.....and I have to admit I even text him a while ago and poured out how much I hate him... and I dont even care...because I do and he deserves it!!!!!

Ummmm so why is this guy causing such a strong reaction. I am a very logical person and I have a great understanding of people and I can usually control my emotions quite well. But tonight I feel like an enormous open wound that someone has just rubbed salt in

[Caterina]

Emotions and logic aren't separate. Its a normal part of being a human being to react emotionally to things. Controlling our *actions* is what shoudl be of concern, not our emotions. The pain is something that might need to be dealt with, but understanding that it might be there for some time is advised. I hope you are okay...