How do I keep this guys attention??

[blondjeanyis2009]

So, I've posted other messages, but didn't exactly get the response I wanted, so i'm trying it form a different perspective.

 

So I really like this guy, he's funny, very cute, he's in a band and is the lead singer, and I've just totally fell in love with everything about him. My only problem is, every time I talk to him, we talk about stuff but after about 10 minutes there's just silence in the room, and one of ends up leaving. Its just awkward. And I don't know what to do to keep his attention. I'm just out of ideas. I need some advice. What makes guys like a girl, first with out sex, and second with out acting like someone your not?? There's got to be something I haven't tried?? Help me out pls!!

thanks!

 

-amber-

[melrich]

Its hard to have a long converstaion with soemone who is really a stranger to you. In most close friendships and relationships the converstaion reveolves around shared experiences, common people and interests.

 

As you have no shared experiences, do you know people in common, do you have any interests in common? If you don't know you have to find out.

 

Failing all that, as a general rule most people like talking about themselves. So think of questions to ask him about himself that don't allow yes and no answers.

[blondjeanyis2009]

Well, he's not a stranger, i've known him for about a year, and he I dunno, its just weird because he show's interest, then he stops then he does then he doesn't, its weird. Like if I don't see him for a while, then he'll come and give me a big hug, then he'll not do something that he said he was goin to, then he'll show up and just start talking to me, and so its just confusing.

[Tsunami]

Ha! god, i know that feeling SO well!! The one thing to do is to hang out with him with other people you can just talk and talk to. Guys tend to like girls who are confident and happy, so yeah, hang out with people who you are confident and happy with, so you can talk to the guy and also to them. All have a laugh together etc.. that way, when you get the guy by hisself there is no akwardness and you are happy and comfortable with each other.

[Tigris]

It sounds like he's finding it just as hard as you are!

 

You need 'fillers'. How about, 'I'm thinking of going to the cinema to see ........ What do you think about the film?

 

What sort of music do you like? Have you got a favourite band?

 

What sort of car do you drive? Have you had it long? I was thinking about getting a ........ Do you anything about them?

 

Write ideas down and then see how far they can be expanded from one question to another. Practice in front of a mirror if you have to.

 

My brother-in-law was very hard work when he joined the family. I used to hate being alone in the house with him. The conversation would start. Have you been at work today? Yes. What shift were you on? 2-10. Have you done anything exciting since the last time I saw you? Not really. Where's ..........? He's out with his mates.

 

See what I mean. It was like getting blood out of a stone!

 

The problem was his family never communicated with each other and his father had died when he was young. The only person he'd been able to talk to was my sister. I told her how I felt and she asked him to open up a bit. He hadn't seen the problem from my point of view. Once he had realised how uncomfortable I was he tried harder and it worked.

 

It just takes time and plenty of practice.

 

Good luck.

[MetallicAguy]

Well to be completely honest, when I first meet a girl and aren't interested in her yet, something that might spark a slight interest would be her looks (too much makeup too expensive clothes, she might be a high-maintenance girl, although I don't really like punk girls, preppy clothing on girls looks good and A LOT better than punk and wearing black it's just the make-up and the fake bronze tan that gets me) and her behavior (like if she's funny, she can make ME laugh, is outgoing and isn't hard to talk to, ISN'T DITSY, ISN'T a golddigger, ISN'T the type of girl that only dates guys because their popular and in the same crowd, every guy has their own tastes in behavior that's just mine.)

 

If he's on and off, I'm pretty sure he's into you as well , I myself do that. He's probably afraid if he does something stupid he'll scare you away. You should just tell him how you feel, guys don't pick up on your signals girls MOST of the time ( like 90%).