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well went out with the ex last night slept over.. .. He wants to try and work it out said e misses me.. well I dont want to be chasing him anymore also dont want to be a door matt ... problem I want to talk to him today but I dont want to call him so he can think Im a pain in the arse ... How should I be playing this right now..

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Go for the NC until you are out of the grey area and you feel that you have gotten control over YOURself and YOUR emotions...this may be quite sometime. Do some reading on the net and the various boards...it really is for you, not for them. Prove to yourself that you can move forward, not the other person.

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If you call him and then let him do what he wants you are becoming a doormat.

 

But if you call him and tell him that if he wants to work on the relationship, now is the time and that you both need to discuss how to do that, then you are taking charge of the situation showing that you not going to be a doormat. You are letting him know that not all the decisions in the relationship are going to be made by him

 

The challenge for him then becomes to get off his butt and start doing what he says he wants to do - work on the relationship.

 

Nothing wrong in being proactive rather then reactive to get what you want.

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