What the worst thing about being dumped?

[Hleb]

I think there are levels of being dumped - worst first:

 

Catching your partner cheating on you

Hearing your partner has cheated on you

Partner telling you they cheated on you

Mutual agreement but she founds someone in the first month after

Mutual agreement and you both mourn the relationship showing each other respect of not jumping in to another relationship

 

 

What hurts the most in the months after the breakup?

Is it not hearing from the person (famarility)?

Is it the sex?

Is it the fact she is with someone else?

Is it when she tells you you should go look for someone?

Is the fact she says she is happier with life?

Is it the regrets?

[brahman]

Mutual agreement but she founds someone in the first month after

 

you forgot:

 

 

knowing you fell in love with a person who would never love you.

[Cydeways]

falling in love with someone who changes, and holding onto somthing that was never there.

 

Having the person she cheated on you with call you to ask if you are going out with her still.

 

The hardest part for me was realizing how much my life was about to change, and not knowing if it was for better or for worse. Also, not knowing what i was going to do with my life from that point on because i built my life around this girl and her needs. I couldn't stand that she was with someone besides me, and the fact that i will never see/speak or think about someone who meant SO much to me, its just... intimidating.

[princesskizzie]

i agree its the not knowing thats the worst, unsure about wether it is a positive or negative thing. for me its the loss aswel having the most important thing to u go.

[darkblue]

Not knowing where you stand with them is always a blow.

[Hleb]

The worst for me is that after a month even though she says lets be friends she hasn't made no effort to be friendly or make contact even though she chose to dump me.

 

The other feeling is knowing she may never contact you again, but her life will get better and the man she with now could be with her for life.

Guess at this time people think there ex life will go down - the new partner will treat her bad - or she realise they made a mistake. The opposite of that can be hurtful.

[RayKay]

I don't think you can rank what is worst in such general descriptions in terms of "ways of getting dumped/breaking up". Each persons experience and context is different. It might suck to be cheated on but perhaps you had already distanced yourself from the person, so perhaps for some that would not hurt as much as knowing you both loved one another but could not make it work. What hurts more will be more relative to the feelings/emotions invested then the "actions" by which it ended.

 

As for what hurts most in the months following is generally trying to rebuild or redirect a life without the person you expected to be with, particularly if this was someone you thought in terms of sharing your life with. It's a process, and things hurt a little less as time goes on, though then again there are days where you feel like it is fresh as ever.

[CATLOVER]

OH well yes it does depend on the situation and emotions involved...its all relative.

My first love broke my heart into a skizillion pieces and th epain was so bad I thought I would die. It took near 3yrs to recover. He never cheated on me or abused me.....he just wasnt as in love as I was and he didnt want to continue...easy to say now....but the hurt i felt at losing him was extreme because my feeling were way deep.

Then recently I broke off with a guy whom after 15moths of struggle turned out to be nothing but a low down rat, he constantly lied and manipulated and Id even be confident with a guess there was other women.......I really cared for him...butonly 3 weeks later I only get the pdd twinge of sadness and loss and mostly im just fine and glad im getting that outta my life....

SO the situation , the time of life, the length , the amount you let yourself love...etc etc are all relative to pain felt.

 

Had the first love done the thingsthis last ratbag did it would have killed me Im almost sure of it.

[PlayBrat]

For ME the worst thing about getting dumped would have to be the indifference I feel from the other person. THAT sucks bad....especially when you're going through a REALLY bad moment missing them..and just want to hear that they at LEAST miss you or something, and they won't even tell you that. THAT is tough. Thats also why NC is SO very important to do during this stage.....because it helps you avopid ALL that.

Another thing is the days just DRAAAAAG by...it feels like they last forever after a breakup...then I just want to go to sleep and wake up a year later!

[chai714]

The worst thing about being dumped . . . .is being dumped.

[ComputerGuy]

Falling in love with someone who doesnt feel the same way back is the worst thing I can explain...about as painful as being cheated on.

[Vert]

I think for me it was that it started as a "mutual" thing, but turns out her reasons (that I agreed to) were just bogus as she didn't try to improve on what she claimed she needed to. I guess it was also knowing that everything she ever said to me was a lie -- about having children, sharing our lives together, and saying she'd marry me. I think the last one hurts the most because she agreed then handed me back the promise.

[moonunit]

Having to find a COMPLETE new group of friends as I feel like I've been blacklisted or/and I don't particularly think I should hang out in the same places that he may be hanging out in.

 

Hearing that he's having fun, going to parties, etc. things we used to do together, not being able to do those things and share those memories with him.

 

The Best for me though?

Thought expensive and putting me in the poor house, having my own place again and being able to decorate it exactly like I want to. And having control of the television.