For All The Nice Guys...

[ImBurningStar]

A good friend of mine forwarded this to me a bit ago and I thought it would be a good read for all the guys out there like myself who have been in these situations, but i also think it can be very educational for the girls as well............so here is is.

 

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and complaining about what jerks guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.

 

This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

 

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

 

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in HALO 2 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.

 

This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you are nice like that.

 

The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls go through a phase where they are illogical and manipulative. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete jerk now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

[DropToZero]

And I wish I could logically explain this trend' date=' but I can't[/quote']

 

I can...by everything you just wrote in the above...that explains your trend.

[ImBurningStar]

And I wish I could logically explain this trend' date=' but I can't[/quote']

 

I can...by everything you just wrote in the above...that explains your trend.

 

I didn't write it....it was forwarded to me and i posted it here.

[DropToZero]

Either way...it's why...your whole 'tribute' that was copied over is exactly why the trend is there. I don't feel like sitting here and picking apart the entire thing and explaining why...it just is.

[lifeiscash]

Good tribute.. I used to be one of these good guys.. but after a few manipulative girls that break a guy's heart.. you have so much anger that you really don't want to be the nice guy anymore. You don't want to have to wait to be recognized, you don't want to be noticed as second in society, even if it is for that time. I just don't see the logic for girls to have a "mainpulative" cycle when the nice guy's don't have one. It shouldn't be that way. Nice guys or even a guy in general shouldn't have to WAIT for a girl to notice them or be appreciated. I still share a bit of anger within me during the times i hurt when I was the nice guy.. constantly being used, walked over, and unappreciated.

 

There are plenty of guys out there that know what I am talking about. They figure there is no use for them until the age of 30 when a woman already has 3 kids, has been through several divorces, and then realizes they need somebody that is "nice and predictable. Forget that, thats when I decided to put my foot down and never let myself ever be disrespected by a single girl ever again. For the new girls that walk in my life.. they have to earn the special nice things I do for them.. until then, they shouldn't expect it.

 

For my advice to all the guys out there.. if you are tired of being the "nice guy".. its okay to be a nice guy but don't be that type of nice. Be nice only at times, don't let yourself be their therapist, start talking control and seeing things more selfish.. if girls are going to be manipulative cycle then be what they want.. b/c obviously from the post.. being a nice guy wont matter.. it will only let you down lol. My point is don't be that nice guy until you get to an age where you feel women DESERVE it. Don't let yourself be walked over.. until then (if your my age) be more selfish and stand your ground. But still be nice.. only on your terms.

[rionmccloud]

Ah yes. If only more women could see the virtues of the nice guy. My ex says I was a good boyfriend, and will be great for somebody else.... Just not her. That blows to hear, but I guess it's true.

 

It does suck being the nice guy, but at the end of the day when there's noone to share my bed with, I don't feel bad or guilty about anything I have said or done to the women in my life. And that, my friends, is right by me.

[LIFE]

I say just stand up for yourself. You have to stand for something, or else you will fall for anything that comes at you. It's funny how people have this nice guy theory. I think that there are lots, and lots of people out there in this World who are just weak mentally and will falter at any challange that comes at them. They have almost hallow in a sense, and they will let anyone walk over them, whether if it's a guy or a girl. It isn't about being nice or not, it's about being real to yourself and to other people. Let them know the truth, be a leader. That way you will be attractive...and be nice too.

[asdf]

Hate to interrupt the nice guy pep rally but any guy who puts up with behaviour from a girl as describe in the first post pretty much deserves it. If a guy isn't going to respect himself and not let himself get used, he's hopeless.

[SkyFire]

link removed

[huszar]

I really think that that piece was written as propaganda to help keep up the illusion that nice guys win somehow, because it's the women who leech on nice guy behaviors while in return giving very little who benefit the most. I've been there, and I feel sorry for those who haven't snapped out of it.

[Caldus]

](*,) #-o

[ShySoul]

Those who get what a real nice guy is knows the truth. Those who put down being a nice guy are insecure and lack confidence in themselves.

[Caldus]

Those who get what a real nice guy is knows the truth. Those who put down being a nice guy are insecure and lack confidence in themselves.

 

I was just showing my frustration with how many times this has been posted.

[asdf]

i think women go for nice guys already as it is. this article was just written by the guys who call themselves nice guys because they put up with bull from women. honestly, nicest thing you can do to a woman like the one in that first post is to show her that her kind of behaviour isn't going to help her in life, not telling her that she'll always have you as a backup no matter how badly she treats people.

 

it's annoying how you always get these guys whining about how they're good guys and all the girls go for the bad guys. that's not true, i've known plenty of nice guys (more than bad guys even) who have had good girlfriends. and the kind of guys who spew this garbage are just the ones who give out the wimpy vibe.

[ShySoul]

Caldus: I know the feeling. I'm the one always defending nice guys.

 

asdf : It's too help people who are feeling down. Real nice guys don't go for getting alot of credit, they do what they do and don't expect things in return. They don't complain, they don't fuss. Now that doesn't mean they get walked on. But every once and awhile everyone needs a pat on the back and a job well done.

[asdf]

i'm talking about the original post, which is the kind of guy " that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and complaining about what jerks guys are" and are "overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned"

 

these guys don't need a pat on the back, and they are not doing a job well done if they're unhappy with how they're treated, because it's a reflection of how they let themselves be treated. if somebody is a real nice guy the original post wouldn't apply to them.

[Shinobie]

Ya sorry for the complaining i do.I just dont understand why the girl goes the better looking guy or why all girls dont seem too like me so it makes me think about looks since none are initially attracted to me.But i can tell u that i am a nice guy cause i know i am.Ive been said that by many women.And iono i dont wanna feel like one of those bitter guys or anything.Cause i do try to be nice to my fellow beings.

[Blackmsmithdave]

I used to put up with all that twadle well most of it, not anymore, im a gentlman most of the time, and will stay that way but i wont put myself out for the stupid little girls anymore, i want someone who is a bit more grown up to realise that im here waiting for her, but also getting on with my life, if she wants me then she can show she does. until then, im keepin well clear from the stupid girls.

 

Nice confidence boost for the guy i used to be though, lol