Think I may be wasting my time?

[Blurr]

So it's been about 3 weeks since this girl and I had gone out. We work together so I see her everyday at work. We've hung out maybe...I don't know, 6-7 times outside of work. She has come over one night to cook me dinner and such.

 

Last week she was on vacation at a festival and got back on Monday. Since then I really haven't seen much of her or got to spend any time with her. Yesterday she left work in a rush as there was a family emergency (I believe there was a death in the family).

 

I've told her many times before that if she ever needs to talk that she can call me and she's said 'I know, but I don't need to talk about things'

 

I havn't talked to her since she left work yesterday...but I've been thinking ever since she left last week for her trip...what am I doing with my time? Ever since she said 'take things slow' I feel like things have been going backwards rather than forwards.

 

I said that I wanted to take it slow as well..but I find as each day passes I'm getting more and more antsy. I realize that after 3 weeks your not going to be madly in love...but I expect some closeness, some sort of emotion. I feel like I'm just one of her many male friends, perhaps with a bit more attention.

 

I'm a very loving guy and I want to be loved. I want to cuddle and I want to feel like my heart is on fire. But things just feel like they always have...my life feels the same. I don't know...perhaps I'm just making a big deal out of things...but I am honestly looking at other potentials because I feel like I am unappreciated and unwanted.

 

I don't know what to think or do. I need advice.

[misery12]

Man, you're 23, don't force things to come.

You'll never find "it" if you're looking for it.

Respect this girls wishes, and give her space.. she knows what you think of her, so the ball isn't in your court anymore. If you keep pushing, you won't get any positive benefits from it.

 

So just back off a bit, let her contact you.. leave her alone, and let her go at her own pace, so she feels comfortable with your presense.

 

This could just be one of those learning experiences that you always hear about.. a chance to find out who you really are, and what you want. IF it is, you'll realize that you are worth more than the guy that waits around.

 

Don't base your life, around her schedule. Go out with friends and do things that you love to do before you even met her. But when you are with her, make sure she gets your un divided attention.

 

Good luck.

[Derek]

I wonder if some sort of "No Contact" - lite is the way to handle this situation?

 

Like for your own self respect, you gotta take a stand and live your life looking ahead instead of waiting for her. ... instead of waiting ON her...

 

Perhaps just go and be happy doing other things and she'll have to decide if she wants to be part of your life's adventures or not.

 

...

 

or not?

 

I have been in a similar boat and I don't quite know the answer.

 

Is the answer that "Time will tell?"

 

 

[Blurr]

Yea, it almost seems like it would be worth it to do some NC...

 

I mean, I feel like everytime I ask her to do something that I'm imposing on her and her time. And she hasn't once been the one to ask me to do anything...perhaps thats another reason why I'm wondering what the heck I'm doing.

 

I think I'll take your advice and just let her ask me to do something...I'm not going to bother anymore and honestly, I'm going to go ask some other girls and see what they want to do. I may only be 23 and have many years ahead of me...but I also want to spend time with someone and have fun...whether it be by ourselves or with friends...with this girl it doesn't seem like she WANTS to spend any time with me.

 

*shrugs*

 

I just don't know...but I'm going to go with some NC for now. I won't ignore her, but I'm not going to actively ask her to do anything anymore.

[heloladies21]

Honestly dude, it doesn't sound like she does it for you. Keep after other girls till you find what you're looking for.

[Blurr]

Yea, thats how I'm feeling as well...I think I may just do that. I've been flirting it up lately with some cute ladies...I should just go for it now...stop waiting around.