I want to take a break is bunk and I know it.......or do I ?

[SpyderE]

This past week has been tough, I have been doing so well up until now, I don't know why this has just started up again. We have been split up for about 3 months now. She wanted some time to not be "us" for awhile, both of us are fairly young and only saw this relationship headed in one of two directions either to a chapel, or a nasty break up... well I guess we were not ready for the chapel. I went through something like this last year and about ended things, but I really took my time and thought about what she really meant to me and how I thought she felt about me... well guess I missed the boat on that one.

So now it comes down to this, we have taken a "break" with no definite end, for all intents and purposes I have considered it a write off, it's the only way i will be able to function. Yet I still have this nagging what if in the back of my head I need to clear up, I need to hear that it is over once and for all. I know it's BS I guess but I can't deal with the thought that there may be a chance that I didn't take, I want to know if this is/was truly a break, and to be honest I understand that a break can lead to a break up, but (gee whiz) at least it's a end result... This not knowing stuff is crap, if you are going to break up with someone, suck it up and do it, don't candy (you know the word I want to use) around with someones heart and feelings, especially if they are still in love with you.

 

and yes I am a bit bitter at the moment.... I'll get over it, just need time.

 

So what does the board hive mind say, is there any way to get a final decision without an all out knock down drag out?

 

 

Thanks folks,

E

[elveden]

Well, really, the only thing you can do is talk to each other. To get rid of that "not knowing" feeling then one of you needs to make a decision. Are you still in love with her then? If she isn't in love with you, then i'd reccomend ending it yourself, for there is little point in trying for a relationship where the love is not reciprocated.

 

Ask her if you can get together (don't do it on the phone or anything, it's not the same - no emotion) and talk about everything. If from your conversation you don't feel you have found the answer from her that you're looking for then ask her, straight up what she wants.

 

From that, you should be able to form an opinion of her, and the relationship itself.

 

Hope it works out for you

[saltwatergirl]

Well, instead of trying to "get" a definite answer, you could just decide to create your own. Something along the lines of 'well, i dont believe this is the right course of action for 2 people in love, and so apparently she isnt in love. thereforeeee, my decision is to move on".

 

Salt