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What is on her mind??...she surely loves me....but?

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Hi guys !! Need some perspective on this one..coz my heart and mind are in conflict.


I was in a relationship for two years and we decided to very mututually but painfully part ways ( though it was mostly her decision) because of our age differences ( she's 21 and I am 33) and I wanted to settle down whereas she did not see us settling down in the near future. Since then she was briefly in a relationship and I also almost got married ( it was an arranged marriage as we call it in this part of the world). Then there was a gap of four months till we got in touch again and then went on a lil vacation together last week. She thought it d be like a bit platonic and I frankly thought nothing but yes it was physical. And now we are back in our respective cities.


I have a couple of questions :


- She's ready to settle down after two years and may be i can wait. But what if she backs out mid way.....or finds some one else. She's doing her post grad studies and chances are she might find some one. I am a very monogamous guy and will stick by her. But its a big gamble


-The fact that she saw some one briefly and it was a physical relationship also kind of is on my mind



The last question's a bit sexual.....We have had sex without actual intercourse ( basically i wouldnt do "it" till she wanted me too) but am too concerned now if she actually went all the way with the other guy. The actual act is not very imp for me but to know how much she trusts me vis a vis the other guy is imp. Though she did mention she doesnt want to have penetration sex with anyone




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I am also confused, what exactally is your question?


It sounds like you are lost by the actions of this girl. Wondering what kind of signals she is giving you. Wondering if she is ready for a commitment and wondering if she has been sexual with others.


Well if she hasn't stated that she is ready to settle down I wouldn't bank on it. As for the sexual part, well unfortunately that's not your place to know.


You can ask her if you have that kind of relationship, however, understand that such things are very personal and you can't expect her to give you details of her sexual life.



I know this isn't much... perhaps if you could read over your post and formulate some direct questions you will get more responses. I hope we can help you.

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