annie24 Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 So, I recently signed up for an internet dating site, and this guy J contacted me. We were supposed to go out tonight for drinks, but he called me 1 hour ago and said he couldn't make it. I said, "fine." Then, he said, how about wednesday night, and I said, "sure." Then, just, 2 minutes ago.... he called again. Here is the conversation: J: Hi! Me: Hi! J: So, it's the 4th of July. Me: Right..... J: So, it means that lots of places are closed tonight. I called that one bar, but they're closed. So, do you want to go to the A bar tonight instead...? Me: Uh.... I thought we planned on meeting on wednesday? J: Uhh.... oh no... Me: Um, are you trying to get ahold of someone else....? J: Yeah, oops... my teammate... Me: Ok... J: Ok then, uh, sorry! I'll see you wednesday! Me: Ok! Do you guys think I should still go on wednesday, despite the fact that he has proven himself to be a butt head? Or should I stand him up (not show up?) hehehe what do you all think? Link to comment
Mun Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 I think you should go on Wed, but don't put all your eggs in that basket. Keep dating others. If he proves himself to be inconsiderate & inconsistent and you don't want to deal with that you can stop dating him anytime. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 4, 2005 Author Share Posted July 4, 2005 Well, actually... there's one small other piece of info... He e-mailed me on saturday saying that he would call me on sunday. But, I didn't hear from him until today and he didn't say anything like, "oh - I'm sorry I didn't call yesterday - something came up..." He just said, "I can't meet you tonight." So, I dunno.... I think he already has 2 strikes against him. This "teammate" must be some other woman, why else would he have talked to me for a few minutes until he figure out I wasn't the person he was trying to call? So, he broke plans with me to go on another date....? hrmmm..... Well, clearly, if we are on a dating site, we are dating other people, but he doesn't have to make it so clear that he's breaking plans with me for someone else! Just a really bad first impression! Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Hmmm, I would never postpone a date if I were really interested... So I think you should look for another date. Think about it, when you are really excited to meet someone, you count every minute and second! Link to comment
Mun Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Annie, you could have just not accepted his first sugggestion ( Wednesday) and told him you already had plans that night. Get him to work around your schedule, instead of you on his, or some other girls'. Know what I mean? Trust your gut instincts though. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 4, 2005 Author Share Posted July 4, 2005 Well, when he originally asked me out, he suggested any day on the weekend, or monday or wednesday. So, I said, monday or wednesday work. So, we decided on monday, until he called and asked if wednesday was still ok. My gut instinct says that he doesn't meet my IQ requirement Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Well, think you've answered yourself. Just go for fun if you've got nothing better to do on Wed, just an innocent date Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 4, 2005 Author Share Posted July 4, 2005 Really? Go? Because right now, I feel like just not showing up, and letting him figure it out at the bar..... while I sit at home and paint my toenails Link to comment
Mun Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 he he....call him and tell him something came up and you can't make it Wed after all. You don't need to be rude and just not show up. You're a classy gal Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Well, I said, "if you don't have anything better to do". If you feel like painting your toes, playing with yourself, or pampering yourself with a nice warm foamy bath along with some wine and soft music, you're set for a nice night withyourself... But if you feel like laughing at the dork that called you thinking you were someone else and that must be feeling even "dorker" by now, you could show up. If I were in that position, I wouldn't go, too many strikes already and you haven't even met him. But I know that one question would stalk me, "what if?"... OK, I'm just complicating myself. Hate when I think too much. Link to comment
Mun Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 That's the thing about this...here's a topic on this guy you haven't yet had a first date with. Trust those gut feelings girl. Link to comment
melrich Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 I'd go. You never know, he may just genuinely be really busy at the moment. I am forever calling things off, not because I don't want to do stuff but just because things are always coming up. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 4, 2005 Author Share Posted July 4, 2005 Rich - but he called to cancel because he's meeting either another girl or a group of people at a bar! Yeah mun, he's so hot in the photos, and he seems like a cool guy on the screen, but he called and cancelled our date 4 hours before it, and for someone else I find out! I don't think I can sit with him for 1 hour over drinks without thinking the entire time, "you are such a dumb *beep.*" Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Maybe you mised the part where he called thinking he was talking to his "team mate", who is likely to be a female... Dumb question, is that you on your avatar Annie? That picture reminds me of Peta Wilson (Nikita?). Link to comment
arwen Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Really? Go? Because right now, I feel like just not showing up, and letting him figure it out at the bar..... while I sit at home and paint my toenails Which is exactly what my advise would be Link to comment
arwen Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Of course this is a female 'team mate' (READ: mate of the team he considers his little club of girls he can date at the same time). Otherwise he would have figured out he was speaking to the wrong person right away. It is definitely not someone he knows all that well, because he would have noticed the voice was different, right? So he is on a date with someone else and almost got caught. I really wouldn't choose to play the second violin here-- but up here, we don't do the not-exclusively dating thing. Please go paint toenails without cancelling and leave him wondering Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 4, 2005 Author Share Posted July 4, 2005 Maybe you mised the part where he called thinking he was talking to his "team mate", who is likely to be a female... Dumb question, is that you on your avatar Annie? That picture reminds me of Peta Wilson (Nikita?). hehehe... no it isn't me Sarah Michelle Gellar, AKA, "Buffy, the vampire slayer." But I'm also a blonde.... Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Well, hope you sent some pictures of you to the guy, so he can realize what he'll be missing! Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Of course he has my photo! He is the one who approached me online and asked me out.... Link to comment
ShySoul Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Whatever you decide write this down, its a good joke to use in the future. A guy cancels his date with you to go out with another women and then accidently calls you, doesn't realize its you, and then lets you know his excuse for cancelling was bogus? Tell that to future guys as an example of what not to do if they hope to keep you around. Show up wed. because it is the right thing to do. Your better then just blowing him off. But he better show you one heck of a good time to avoid that third strike. Give him one evening to show you this was just a really stupid blunder and that hes not like that. If he doesn't, forget him. Oh, and nice pic. Though I prefer Alission Hanigan, aka Willow. Link to comment
Mun Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Like I said, you haven't yet gone out with him and( I'm guessing here) you already feel insulted. I totally understand you would have a hard time enjoying yourself with him. Then again, you guys are not exclusive, he doesn't know you from Eve...so this is not about you personally. He is a guy...putting himself out there and there is just so much "choice" he is having to juggle dates around to fit in everyone he wants to meet. That's why I say you should make sure you too are dating other people. It will keep your perspective clearer. Link to comment
Caldus Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 I would actually not suggest not cancelling the date if you don't want to go. Just give him a quick call in that case and just say you're not interested. Simple as that and he will most likely leave you alone after that. Otherwise, he's going to call or email you or something and ask where you were. Maybe he won't and will just figure you're not interested but I think it's just better if you cancel it if you're not going through with it. At least that's my opinion. And I'm still very confused about what he means by a 'teammate'? At this point I would just trust your gut feeling about it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Oh muneca - you know that I'm dating other guys! I know that he is also seeing other women - after all, we are all on a dating site! It's just... yes, I do feel insulted, even though I know it's not personal, as he doesn't know me. He cancels a date 4 hours in advance, and then I find out that he is cancelling for another date, this "teammate...?" Like Ilse said, he must not know this "teammate" very well if he can't recognize her voice over the phone.... Caldus, I think if I don't show up, he'll figure out pretty quickly why I'm not there... I think it might even do him some good - to sit at the bar with his beer and contemplate how, in the future, he will make sure which phone number he is dialing.... Ironically, his profile says he is "good at multitasking." Link to comment
QTpie87 Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 I would do the same thing to him. call him up and be like what's up, and say someone elses name, be like I had the greatest time last night and blah blah blah and just keep on talking until you feel you have put in your share and then stop and let him be like eh this is j not so and so. Then be like o im so sorry, so how are you, we still up for wednesday night. then if he says anythign mean about it be like well that's what you did to me the other night you should try to be more careful and think about others feeligns you know? he he. No actually that might be a little mean, but just an idea. Link to comment
Caldus Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Well I guess you have a point but I always cancel things with people if I know I won't follow through. I'm saying that if you aren't interested in following through with dating this guy at all, then you might as well just go ahead and tell him whenever instead of leaving him at the bar that night. It would be the same thing if he were at the bar and didn't find you except you would have wasted his time waiting for you there. This is how I see it anyway. Link to comment
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