Married and loving it. Any homemakers feel unappreciated ??

[cotten5]

I kind of feel unappreciated at times. It can be typical for the husband not to thankyou for what you do. My real question is, read what I have to say, and what do you think????

It is inaccurate to believe a homemaker stays home because she is to lazy to get or do a real job?

Although the homemaker does not receive a paycheck she is making a huge contribution to the family.

I am woman hear me roar, but I chose to live in a traditional marriage and family, feminist feel that I'm thwarting the movement, I'm a person of value, yes I deserve to be treated equally and fairly but the fact is I could care less about the womans movement, I live and breath to keep a marriage strong and healthy, to raise three children to be happy healthy, and give them the tools to make it. And I'll still be around to help them through hard times if necessary.

I am a homemaker, I do not work or live for a buck. I live to see my family and anyone else I can smile. Money can not give you happiness, if that is the focus you miss everything else at least in the depth that brings the most fullfillment in life.

I am a homemaker who will teach my son immediately that when he marries it is his responsibility to be the provider. He should be supportive of a career minded wife but when children come so much can change. Don't let it be a money issue that makes her decide what to do, she won't be happy and the marriage will suffer.

I'm a wife, who loves my husband. If things need working on I can focus on the issues and work on it immediately.

I am sick of the phrase " I can do it all" . Really, but can you do it all and do it great? Divorce rates are so high because we've spread are selves so thin we just don't have the time or energy to put into saving the marriage. Divorce seems quick easy, with benefits and could be a little profitable.. SHORT TERM

Ever heard " you cannot stay in a marriage just for the kids"?

You can't!!! But I say if you don't put a signifigant amount of time and effort into keeping or saving your marriage your telling your kids they weren't even worth the hassle to try to save it.

I have girls too. they will be independent and capable of taking care of themselves, but if they marry they should not feel like they have no value if they chose to stay at home and raise their kids and keep their family running smoothly. Woman have the right to work and be paid fairly, But that does not take away my right to chose staying home.

Many woman are forced to work because lowpaying jobs can't support a family with just one. They also work because society has let the womans movement push all woman along a road, I'm not going down this road. It sucks. Family is what America was built and thrived on, now it's the money, but America is slowly degrading to immorality, materialism and violence because so many don't want to raise their own children. Marriages are collapsing and familys suffer. The kids carry this along for life. The cycle wil ruin us eventually.

[SwingFox]

wow, Cotton?

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you from coming to us with your message. I understand that you are not being fully appreciated by your husband. I am sorry to hear that... I believe that you are doing a good job as a lot of women do in home making. I am single, 31 yrs, male. Although, I don't have children (which is EXTRA workload and hard work, too!), I am one of those guys doing it all: both work and keep the household going. I know how uneasy that feels at times. I also understand the hard you put in, in keeping all running smoothely and I compliment you on that! Good job

 

I support your message. I believe that what you say is at least for 90% true. Especially what you said about "It's all about making money in the US". I believe you're right. Every day I am thankful that I live in The Netherlands, where we have a GREAT balance between work (36 hours a week is enough to keep supported and eventually support a family on avarage) and private life (having 20 vacation days at all times).

 

I hope that you will enter a bright future soon. As you said it yourself: you'll have to work on it and keep working on it. I wish you good luck!

 

~ SwingFox ~

[shania2003]

Everyone is entitled to do what they wish without criticism, however, some of us women have to work to take care of our families. Even though divirce rates are high, I think that a lot of that comes from women who now have a lot more self esteem than they used to and refuse to be the whipping boy for a man who thinks that his life is harder than hers.

I have been married twice and divorced twice, and I am not one tiny bit sorry or regretful that I got divorced, both times I was the one who wanted out, sick and tired of being an adults mother. I already have 4 kids and if I wanted to raise another I would have another baby.

God did not put me on this earth to be someones house maid and I feel that I have the freedom to do whatever is right for me.

Marriage that works is a blissful thing, but marriage that doesn't work is disasterous. I stayed married 2 years longer than I should have, because of kids, the house bills and payments, and I lived in a house where I hated to be and I would rather go to work than have to go home. I also lived with someone who I hated with a passion that I still can't believe sometimes and I told him so, but he didn't get it.

And, yes, us working mothers can do it all and do it well. You kow how we do it, we get up extra early in the morning and take care of everything, and then we get our kids off to school and we go off to work, then we come home and fix supper and have our family time and then we stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning doing laundry and cleaning house and then unwinding so that we can get up around 5 am and do it all again.

We are independent, and we don't need anyone to support us or to maintain our standard of living, we have nice homes and nice cars and our kids have nice things and even though we bust our butts outside of the home that doesn't make us unloving mothers, I just refuse to be dependent on a man to pay my bills, and keep me trapped in a life that I do not want to be in, because I can't make it on my own. That is my choice and the way I want to live, just as being a home maker is the way you want to live and the choice you made.

That doesn't make either one of us right or wrong, it just makes us different.