My ex called today and it makes me SICK please help

[islandgirl808]

Hello... This will probably be long so here I go. I dated a guy for 2 years and things were great in the first year and a half, Then he changed. He was beyond controlling, rude sometimes, thought I was cheating on him 24/7 (even though I never did), I guess jealous, and just controlling. He even got in a fight with my dad once (a fist fight) anywaze I broke up with him and moved. Now Im back in town and for some reason he as been calling my phone tonight which makes me SICK to my stomach. I just wanna throw up. By the way its been like over a year since I broke up with him. Anywaze.. I want him to leave me alone seriously. I know that he hasnt changed or anything like that and Im just somewhat scared of him because he is so controlling. I wanted to email him tonight and just tell him a few things and tell him to stop calling. Because trust me I have told him over 100 times to leave me alone but he always finds his way back. I think the email would work though because I was going to say I wasnt even back in town. Any ideas or thoughts

[Caldus]

Can't you simply call him back and just tell him to stop calling you? Or send an email if you're that scared to talk to him on the phone.

[Mr. Cactus]

If you really have asked him to leave you alone as much as you say you have (and by that I mean making it unambiguously clear to him on multiple occasions that you do not want him to contact you or come near you in any way) then you might need to consider going through legal channels at this point. This seems to have all the potential ingredients and makings of a serious problem which is why I think you need to take serious action.

[reflectionlessmirror]

he sounds ALOT like my ex. I just turn my ringer off and let him make a fool of himself.

[darkblue]

Tell him straight that there is no way yous are getting back together.

 

If you leave it even partially open, he will try and persue you all the way.

 

You have to let him know straight that there is no chance of yous getting back together.

 

If he continues to call and contact you after that. You may have to take more drastic action..

 

Email or call him, let him know how you feel and hopefully he will get the message loud and clear.

[RandomAdvisor]

I agree with Mr.Cactus. Go with the restraining order and he should get the message. I don't think e-mailing him to tell him how you feel is a good idea. It's just an invitation for him to reply and talk to you again, even if you also say you don't want to talk to him anymore. E-mail him to tell him to leave you the hell alone, and that's it.

[Shadows Light]

You need to be firm and to the point. "I do not want to talk to you... I do not want to see you...I do not want any contact with you."

 

Very very firm. In charge and unemotional. Don't go into any lengthy explanations about anything... just cut and dry.

 

The SICK to your stomach feeling.... its your fight/flight response telling you something is WRONG... so listen to it. And be FIRM with him.

 

If he doesn't leave you alone... start documenting and seek protection orders legally.

[chai714]

Emailing him is giving him attention - even if it's negative attention. If you act indifferent with him (which means neither hating nor loving him, but just not caring), this will make him go away. If he never gets any reaction from you, he will most likely stop all attempts at contacting you. It's like running into a brick wall - he won't be getting anywhere with you (meaning no reaction) so he can keep doing it until he gets bored. Meanwhile, don't let it affect you. I know you're island is somewhat small (if you live on Maui), so chances are you'll run into him anyways. If this happens, ignore him.

[annie24]

I agree with Chai. The thing about stalkers (and that's what he kind of sounds like), is that if they call you 40 times, and you pick up on the 41st call, they know that as long as they call you 41 times, you will evenutally pick up. Block his number, don't pick up. If you have to, go to the police. Good luck