shorty20 Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 ok... so I've been posting about the guy i'm dating. Well, I"ve recently noticed something that is... well a little bit weird and I can't figure it out. We hung out for almost a week before he kissed me. He initiated it, and also when he was walking out to his car that night, I was getting into my car and he was like "where do u think you're going?" and he pulled me back into him and kissed me again. Now, in the past, once I've gotten the first kiss out of the way, they come more naturally... but it's been over a week and a half since he's kissed me again. He does other stuff... gave me a back rub last night and had no problem slipping my shirt of (it wasn't sexual at all... just rubbing my back) so it's not like he's too shy to kiss me... he just dosen't, and I don't understand it. I don't think it's the way I kiss, cuz when we dated before we kissed all the time, and he couldn't get enough, so what's the deal? I am just so confused and don't know what to do... any suggestions, advice... anything. thanx guys Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Well kissing can lead pretty quickly to other things, maybe it's the other things he fears getting to too fast and so he's holding back on the kissing? Link to comment
shorty20 Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 but, then why would he do other things? When he's rubbing my back, massaging me, it does get pretty sexual. Taking my shirt of wasn't as sexual as it seems... but like... he'll use his lower lip and run it along my skin, up my neck, accross my lips but won't kiss me.... it's like he wants it but won't do it, and when i lean in to help him out, he just moves away or something... so I just don't understand how kissing would scare him about leading to other things, but rubbing my back without a shirt on wouldnt... Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Maybe kissing is a much bigger turn on for him...ie it's easier to stop when rubbing your back than it would be for him to stop with kissing. Link to comment
shorty20 Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 but straddling him to rub his back/stomach isn't a turn on? it's just weird to me that he wouldn't kiss me just because it turns him on... especially after a month of hanging out, and after we've already kissed before, it dosen't seem like it should be that big of a deal... Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 I know that, for me, kissing is a huge turn on and I would find it mui hard to stop with just kissing. Kissing is sometimes a much bigger turn on and ramp to other things than anything else, seating arrangements included. Link to comment
DN Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Maybe he's waiting to see if you will kiss him first. Link to comment
shorty20 Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 so what should I do? Do you think maybe he may be holding back because I said I wanted to take things slow? The thing that confuses me is that we haven't even had "the talk" yet so I don't know where I stand with him... don't know how he feels... but I barley get to talk to him, because he works all the time... i see him once a week, twice if I'm lucky... and neither of us are real big phone talkers... anways, should I ask him about it? I think that the fact that I ran after two months last time we dated may have something to deal with it, but for the first time in my life I don't feel like running from this relationship... i really want it to work, and I'm ready to move forward and make a committment, but I don't know if he is, and I'm scared to bring it up if he isn't..... man... sorry bout the rambling... Link to comment
shorty20 Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 I've tried DN... i mean, it's dark, and he's doing that thing where he's running his lower lip accross my skin... i'll turn my head towards him, and our lips will brush, but he'll just pull away and keep rubbing my back, etc.... it's hard to tell what he wants... Link to comment
Raven44 Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Well by the sounds of it he is taking your "I want to take it slow" to heart. I agree with what some of the other posters have said; he probably gets a lot more turned on by kissing and realizes that if you two start madly making out it will lead to other things. Im thinking that he feels the same as you and doesnt want to take any chances of messing things up this time. Next time you are with him bring it up. Try straight out asking him what he wants in the relationship. Open communication is a must if you really want it to work out this time. Best of luck, Raven Link to comment
bellamcb Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Maybe he is trying to make you really, really want it before he does it. Like a seduction technique. If so, sounds like it's working! Link to comment
DN Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Try saying "I said I wanted to take it slow, but I didn't mean that slow!" but say it with a laugh and a smile. Link to comment
shorty20 Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 thanx for all ur suggestions guys! i'll have to try some of that whne I'm with him next time... just have a talk and see where he's wanting to go with me, etc.... i'll let u guys know how it goes... Link to comment
misery12 Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 I don't understand why you just don't kiss him.. Maybe once you give it a kick - start, he'll start initiating it more. Link to comment
Blackmsmithdave Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 yer go for it, if he is taking it slowly i would think thats its because he is taking what you said to heart, i would if i had been told this. Well i would try. but go for it you set the boundaries for this, be the rule maker. lol good luck Link to comment
darkblue Posted July 2, 2005 Share Posted July 2, 2005 I think; Like DN suggested, breaking the ice with something like: " How slow are you gonna go?!" Talking to him about it will at least let you see where you stand. Link to comment
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