The conundrum.

[GremlinX]

Well let's see. First of let me say that like so many others I have been a shy person most of my life. To compound that I come from a long line of quite types in my family, not that it's always a bad thing.

 

Anywho to make a long story short ('cause if you make one too long the other person ends up falling asleep in their oatmeal and falling asleep in one's oatmeal tends to be quite messy! It's not a pretty sight!) like a number of people I'm alone and like fewer I'm gettin' up there as far as age goes. My main thing (Or two or three. Take your pick.) is trying to jumpstart myself into getting or going places to meet whoever it is I was meant to find. I had a ton of stuff to get over and it took longer than I woulda liked but now that it's not the train wreck it once was I wanna get goin'!

 

That's not to say I don't have doubts and things that creep up that I then have to smack on the nose with a paper and say "Down boy! Get back in your box!" But I live out in the middle of jack squat and the opertunities just aren't there as often as I'd like. Oh I don't give up hope. If there's one thing I'm not gonna do it's give up. Late in the game or no I'm still above ground!

 

I do have my days when I wake up and there I am, alone again. And yes it hurts at times. And there lies the frustration. In a small town that doesn't seem to have much what is a person to do?

 

Just another guy in his thirties with no experience (but for some reason I see that as a blesing not a curse).

 

Hey! Wake up! You got Cinamon & Brown Suger up your nose!

 

Did I mention that I sometimes feel that one of the things that keeps me from talking is that I don't like to hear myself sometimes and feel other people are gonna judge me as strange if I were to talk like I type(or talk at all)? Would I have the courage to be the goof I am if I did see a girl who intrest me? Sometimes I have my doubts. I had a few I liked in a memory long past its sell by date and did nothing about but thats then and this is now. I know there have been a couple who took an intrest in me except I'm just too dense to see it unless someone points it out days, weeks, years later (Hey thanks alot!). You'd have to throw a rock with a message tied to it and I still might not get it. I missed learning the social q's (can't spell it, durrrrrr) and at this age I have to start all over. A daunting task.

[Markers]

you want to know where all the girls are? Try a huuuuge shoe store, amusement park, gym...

 

just don't miss a single chance. If you see an attractive girl, go and talk to her immediately! Otherwise it might be the last time you see her. Just walk up to girl and comment something about what's around (like shoe store: ask which shoes would suit you.. Amusement park: have you tried that thing yet? etc.). Then talk like 5 mins to the girl and you can ask for their number, and then leave. Call them after couple of days, that keeps them interested and you don't look desperate and clingy.

[ecg1228]

One thing that worked on a girlfriend of mine - she was in the bottled water aisle at a grocery store and a guy in the same aisle asked why people buy water when it's free? That seemed cute and not so I needed to think of a line to approach her-like - and it got a natural conversation started. They're actually still dating today (their first date was in January).

 

Did I mention that I sometimes feel that one of the things that keeps me from talking is that I don't like to hear myself sometimes and feel other people are gonna judge me as strange if I were to talk like I type(or talk at all)? Would I have the courage to be the goof I am if I did see a girl who intrest me? Sometimes I have my doubts.

 

Just be yourself, relax and don't worry about it - you will attract more suitable people towards you. I used to be very shy as a little girl/teenager. It was that mode of thinking that I mentioned that eventually got me past those self-esteem issues to be the confident person I am today.

 

And like the previous poster said, don't miss any chances. Some may work for you, some may not. It's just the nature of the dating game. At least you have a chance, whereas your chances are definitely zero if you DON'T try!

[heloladies21]

Well friend, you're right that it's never too late to learn. And this is a skill just like any other which can be practiced learned.

 

You can find women everywhere, at your typical pickup places (bars, clubs), but also at the grocery store, your waitress, standing in line at the movies. You can even just go walk outside, look around on the street and find women. They really are everywhere.

 

Then talking to women has to do with overcoming the fear of rejection. This can be one by straight repetition. You really have to force yourself to go up to women the first few times. But as you keep doing it you'll become less afraid and even start to talk to girls naturally without even having to think about it.

 

And don't worry if you do get rejected either, it happens all the time to even the best of em. Now go out and get em.