Need Help!

[rainsreign]

My bf and I just went out and he was super rude to me. I'm not sure what to do.

 

I went with him to get a cable at radio shack. Then we went to a grocery store to get cash over. He came to me near the office supplies and said "i was going to get these for my..." in a way that implied he wasn't going to get them. They were those nylon cables.

 

I didn't hear the end of his sentence, but I said "yeah, those don't last"

 

And then he said "what do you mean?" and I said "well, what do you need them for?" and he said "i just told you". I knew he was mad cause I didn't listen to the end of his sentence, but then I tried to explain, saying how they break really easily and I bought a bunch of them and they all broke and that they were the flourescent color kind so they might be cheaper than those he could get a hardware store.

 

And then he was like "just so you know, I don't always want your input. I didn't ask for it. I'm not going to get them, but not because of what you said"

 

I just said "o.k. I'm going to buy these scissors" and got in line. He poked me in my back and started bringing up the fact that he didn't want my input. I was like "I don't want to talk about it here" and he was like "just because we're in a grocery store and people might hear, it's all good for you to talk about things when you want to, but not when I want to". I was embarrassed because I could tell that the guy in front of me was listening and I said calmly "I don't want to talk about it right now." And then he said "**** You!" and walked off to a different line.

 

I then left the store and came home. I know he just called and left me a message. What do you think about that? Do you think it wasn't that big of a deal what he said or what? Was he overreacting or was I rude?

[misery12]

He was overreacting, and what's the message say?

[catgirl82]

sounds like your bf is definetly overreacting- acting quite immature. i dont think the issue is about your input on some nylon cables. i think something else is bothering him and he just snapped. it might be about you, your relationship or sometihng unrelated.

 

just know that it wasnt fair the way he reacted towards you- throwing a fit in the supermarket and embarrassing you? unacceptable!! you 2 need to have a talk, find out wahts bothering him (and then tell us)

[STARSHINE42]

Yeah he probally was overreacting. He might of just had a bad day. I wouldn't blow this up out of puportion. If this is just a one time thing..seriously sweety forget about it. But if he has an attitude like this all the time towards you, either have a serious talk with him. and if he doesn't change then leave him. But for the most part leave him alone for the rest of the night let him calm down. And see him tomorrow or something.

[rainsreign]

He's gotten mad before. Like a couple of weeks ago he exploded and said horrible things to me. He's apologized profusely saying he'd never do it again and that he'd always treat me with respect. I told him if he ever did it again, I'd break up with him for sure.

 

He's called me and left three messages saying he felt that I'm self-righteous because I didn't swear at him and that my walking away from him in the store was rude and worse than swearing at him and that I was shutting him up by turning my back to him in the line (my back was already to him, really, I was in line!) But what he forgets is that I can choose if I want to talk to him or not. I'm an independent persona and if I don't want to talk to him in that moment, I don't have to, do I?? He was making a scene!

 

He feels that I didn't have to give him input if he didn't ask me. So isn't that telling me to shut up basically? I don't understand why he is like this.

 

He doesn't know I'm at home and have my phone so he's stopped calling, but I definitely don't think I'm going to call him tonight. I'll go do my laundry.

 

I don't know... Supposedly we were going to live together, but I just don't know if it's a good idea. And we talked about that last night. I don't know... maybe I'm being insensitive? But I just feel like he was rude first and super sensitive when I was just talking about the freaking nylon cords.

[rainsreign]

darn it. i told my housemate about it and he invited him over! my bf doesn't know that i'm in my room right now and i'm stuck in here, immobilized, unable to call anyone or leave because then i have to talk to him.

 

doh.

 

i just don't know how much i should tolerate before moving on.

[DancingHamster]

I say move on. I went out with someone like this for eight months...same kind of thing in public (getting really angry and embarrassing me). It escalated from there. Never physical abuse, but so much emotional and psychological abuse I had to see a shrink when I left him. And I'm really surprised I had the strength to leave him. If you stay with him and this continues, trust me, your self esteem with spiral downhill and then it really will be hard to leave.

 

Sounds like your guy is all about control...and I'm sorry to say...he sounds verbally abusive. They are always "so, so, sorry" and they will "never do it again" but you know what? They aren't and they will. That much is a given.

 

I would literally sit him down and tell him you will not accept verbal, or any other kind of abuse, in any way, shape, or form. Tell him making a scene in a store over F-ing NYLON CORDS is insane, and you won't tolerate it. Also ask him if there's something else bothering him. However, from what you've said, sounds like this is a pattern.

 

If you want to stay with him, tell him three strikes and he's out. And MEAN it.

[metallicachica247]

thats verbally harassing your in a way

if he says mean things a lot, then hes not "the one"

and no he over reacted, not u, he was being rude, u were being calm and polite

[playfull06]

He sounds like an immature jerk. Something maybe bothering him, but he has no right to pick a fight and argue in a store and embarrass you. Then for him to call and say that you are rude. NO NOT RIGHT!!! It doesn't sound like it will get better, so move on and leave him. You deserve better treatment.

[rainsreign]

so, he called me several times. and this time, he called me saying that i was wrong because i told him what to buy. he apparently has a very different memory than i do.

 

he kept getting more and more excited during the conversation, saying that he didn't even get a chance to say anything to me in the line and that i was rude because i had my back to him.

 

he has just hung up on me. i have very little doubt that he will call me in like ten minutes. he is so sure that he was justified in saying **** you to me, saying that i basically was saying the same thing to him because i had my back to him when i was in the line. but i didn't want to talk to him!! i feel like he is twisting everything around.

[taimeen]

dump him quick now, b4 his illogical reasoning starts to make sense to u, or worse u just start to accept it as him being him