A good excuse for not going to a friend's graduation party

[thefireisoutanyway]

One of my close friends graduated recently, and he invited me (via) to his graduation party. Here's the problem: I REALLY REALLY don't want to go.

 

Reasons:

 

-) I don't like the people. I know most of the people attending the party. I've met them before, I've hung out with them. I don't really care to hang out with them. In fact, a good number of them I just can't stand. The fact my ex is going to be there makes it worse.

 

-) The most people invited share similar interests, and all of the previous parties have been based on this. I don't really fit in, and I am sick of trying to fit in with the crowd of people that I really don't care for.

 

I guess I CAN be truthful, and tell him all this stuff. Except, I don't think that's such a good idea.

 

So, how should I handle this situation? Should I just accept the invitation and suffer for one day, for the sake of... something? If I were to decline, what would be the best way to decline, without hurting anyone's feelings?

[DragonGirl724]

just say you have commitments already scheduled for that day. "sorry". send him a card saying congratulations and that youre sorry you couldnt make it.

 

 

it shows some kind of effort.

 

-DG724

[Meow18]

Just because you are invited, doesn't mean you have to go. It's totally your choice, but if you feel like it's something you should do for him, then just stopping by for like 5 minutes would be good enough, just say you have a lot to do so you can't stay long.

 

You said he was a close friend, so it might be important to him that you think about him. If you choose not to go, then you should take him like a card or something the day before or after, just to show him that you are thinking about him.

[Mr Meh]

Yeah sometimes a little white lie is useful. Sometimes our obsession with honesty makes mountains out of molehills. If it is really important to him that you go, maybe you could put up with people you don't like for the sake of his feelings, but if it is just a casual invitation, lie like a rug

[thefireisoutanyway]

Thanks for all the quick replies!

 

Well, I already gave him a graduation gift and a card few days before graduation.

 

I've thought of, say, telling him I have other things to do. But I can't think of any b.s. commitment so important that it cannot be moved to a different date. I thought about saying that I had to go to some government institution for a very important appointment, but those things aren't open on weekends.

 

may be I should leave country... or something

[Meow18]

It's nice when people go to your graduation party, but so many other people will be there, so it's not really a big deal if you don't go. My sister had a graduation party recently and people called and said they wouldn't be coming. It wasn't a big deal. Just tell him you have like family things going on or something & you will try to stop by for a little while. That way if you get the urge to go, then you can. But if you don't go, then it won't matter.

[DN]

I agree with the idea of going for a few minutes, then say you have to go because you are something that disagreed with you and you think you are about to throw up.

[DragonGirl724]

then go to say hello and show your face, then bounce. say you already made plans...say you have a hot date.

 

-DG724

[catgirl82]

i think a white lie is in order here! nobody will be hurt, it will be fine. the trick to the white lie is, dont make a big deal out of it. dont make up an elaborate excuse. dont keep bringing up the fact that you cant go. just give him your (believable) reason and then move on- otherwise it might look a little suspicious.

 

its just like when you were 17 and had to lie to your parents about where you were going on a friday night. they could always tell i was lying when i started going into the elaborate details....

[DragonGirl724]

its just like when you were 17 and had to lie to your parents about where you were going on a friday night. they could always tell i was lying when i started going into the elaborate details....

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! O MAN THAT BRINGS BACK SO MANY BAD MEMORIES! LOL!

 

-DG724

[shes2smart]

I agree with the idea of going for a few minutes, then say you have to go because you are something that disagreed with you and you think you are about to throw up.

 

Yup. Go, do about a half hour of face time, and develop a headache.

[DragonGirl724]

Yup. Go, do about a half hour of face time, and develop a headache.

 

lol dealing with a bunch of people he doesnt like AND an ex gf, he MAY ACTUALLY get a headache. lol and then he wont be lying after all...look at how good it works out. 8) lol

 

-DG724

[Spirits Away]

Heh, interesting situation. I'm often in a similar situation as you. Get invited, but don't want to go because you care less about the people there.

 

I remember our graduation party has to do with beers... lots of beers. Spend the whole night, then clean up, then go out to eat breakfast. It is pointless. Can't they think of something more fun to do? North Americans are so.... erm. anyways. Back to your topic.

 

If you got no choice but to go, I suggest you look for things that will make you appreciate the party. Like lets say how the party is organized or the mood of the party, and who seem to be leading it, and where it could improve on. See, if you don't like the people there, there are many other things you can appreciate. That's how i get rid of boring situation.

[DN]

I was kind of dragooned into going to a party one time. I only knew the host, and even him barely, but I said OK in a weak moment. I nearly bailed but my conscience kicked in so I went; expecting to be polite, have a drink or two and then leave early.

 

Except I didn't leave early because I met the girl who later became my wife.

[Meow18]

I was kind of dragooned into going to a party one time. I only knew the host, and even him barely, but I said OK in a weak moment. I nearly bailed but my conscience kicked in so I went; expecting to be polite, have a drink or two and then leave early.

 

Except I didn't leave early because I met the girl who later became my wife.

 

Oh, that's a cute story!!

[chai714]

At times, especially when it's a good friend, we need to put aside our own wants and desires and focus on making our friends happy. This is not about how you feel, but how you'll make your friend feel simply by sharing an important moment in his life. How would you feel if he didn't attend your graduation party? You don't have to stay the entire time. Your showing up, telling him "congratulations, I'm proud of you" while smiling would be priceless. How difficult would that be?

[thefireisoutanyway]

Hello,

 

I just wanted to thank everyone for their replies. In the end, I did go to the party. To minimize my stay, I went to the party as late as possible and left after an hour. My friend didn't seem to mind at all at this, and he didn't ask any questions either.

 

Well, I feel kind of bad. But oh well.

[Spirits Away]

Thanks for the follow-up. I sometimes wish all post have follow ups because people are naturally nosy

[Meow18]

You might feel bad for only staying for an hour, but you would feel worse if you didn't show up at all. Don't worry about it. I'm sure your friend just appreciates you showing up at all!