Ex broke NC again and gave me my movies, but is still bitter

[settinuplife]

So my ex called again wanting to give me my movies back. We have talked a few times this week after 2 months of NC, I am the one who wanted NC because she wouldn't get back w/me, and I needed to heal. She broke it a couple days ago to let me know about my movies. When she called a couple days ago she was bitter and not friendly.

 

She called again today and is still kind of bitter and right away tells me she tried to call last night to give them back because my car was there (we live in the same apt. complex) I told her I wasn't there and I was at the club, she kind of makes remarks that I'm pimpin around. Then she says she saw her friends ex's car at the complex the other night and she says she knows that we are screwing around with each other, I tell her that she's wrong and that she just moved into the complex in another building and that we are just friends and that she can call my friends ex and ask her. I did mention to her that I'm doing great and am happy.

 

So then she asks if I have a girlfriend and I say yes (even though I don't) she then asks me what her name is, and I make up a name. She then makes a comment "well I have my own boyfriend to worry about." She also said "well, you won't have to worry about me anymore because I'm moving out of the complex" She mentioned that a couple times in our convo. I responded like "okay, whatever." So she comes by 15 min. later to give me my movies and as soon as I open the door she hands them to me expressionless and asks me for the $2 I used on her school ID (her boyfriend is waiting off to the side). I tell her I have to go out to my car and get the money, so she tells me to come downstairs to her apt. and give it to her. So I give it to her and ask her for some change because it was a $5. She says she'll give it to me later along w/any more of my movies she finds.

 

So I say "okay, later" and I walk back up to my apt. and she slams her door. Her boyfriend was around throughout the whole thing but didn't say anything just kind of stood in the background.

 

Okay, she initiated the whole movie return, I didn't. She broke the NC to tell me about them. Yeah, I do still love her and would like to have her back, or would at least like to be friends with her now.

 

So what do you all think about this. She knows I'm doing great, thinks I have a girl and knows I'm getting a great new job and thinks I'm happy. I have to mention that I was looking pretty good also. Am I doing all the right things to get her to think of what she lost?

 

Does it sound like she still has feelings for me?

 

So do you think she'll pursue me or think I'd be too hard to get because I'm happy and thereforeeee doesn't think I'd take her back?

[heloladies21]

She's trying to play head games with you now. Don't get caught up. She's with another man now. Concentrate on ignoring her and finding someone new. If she's really persistent, tell her to stop talking to you. And don't ask for your change back. It's only 3 dollars.

[chai714]

Being dishonest with her will come back to haunt you, whether she finds out or not. How is telling her that you have a girlfriend going to make her want to come back? Because you think she will become jealous?

 

This is not seduction. She really does have boyfriend, so it makes your tactics more difficult. I think the only way to play this one is to get over her, date other females, and maintain some kind of contact with her down the road.

 

In a sense, she still controls you. She has your movies, you owe her 2 dollars . . this is all very petty stuff. When someone is cold to you, what do you do? You withdraw. Coldness = defenses are up = you're talking to a wall. When another human is not responsive to you, let time pass, then come back later with something different. I guarantee if you let more time pass, she'll be less bitter and you might be able to have a decent conversation with her.

[settinuplife]

I just wanted her to think I moved on and am not pining away for her still, and figured it would make her think about what she lost and that I am not readily available to her.

[sidehop]

I remember your story while back...if I'm not wrong...in either case like others have mentioned, she's playing mind games with you completely to be 'on top' of the relationship chain. She's trying to make herself better by trying to make you feel miserable.

 

The only wait to really prove to her is that you stop talking to her and completely move on. Don't make up any names, you just have to prove yourself that you can completely leave her behind. I know you don't want to talk to her but you're still letting her come into your life and let her play with your mind & heart. Don't do this to yourself...you're much more worth then that.

 

I'm not coming down on you hard but when you have anyone playing mind games like this, sometimes you just have to have someone tell you to not let them control you like your ex is doing.

 

Keep your head up & remember that this girl is playing games...and only games!

[PlayBrat]

Hey Settinup...

 

First of all....your ex sounds REALLY classless to me..no offense.

Why do you WANT her back? Would you want to be her current boyfriend? Standing there watching how she treated you over 2 measly dollars??

She has a lot of nerve to have even ASKED you if you have a girlfriend. Where does she get off?? Personally if it were ME..and some guy did that to me..I would have slammed the door in his face. I would have bought NEW movies. It's not worth the aggravation, sorry.

Yes she is playing stupid juvenile head games with you, and she doesn't sound like a very nice person. I don't care what her motivations are. Just MY opinion.

[settinuplife]

Does anyone know what her real motivations are? Does she miss me and this is her way of showing it? Seems she is definitely not hiding the fact that she has a boyfriend now. When we were just friends she would always have called her boyfriend a "friend." Now she calls him "boyfriend."

[PlayBrat]

Hmmmm..nope...sounds to me like she's a spoiled brat and this is her way of having a temper tantrum because you aren't reacting in the way she wants you to.

If she "missed" you she would convey that. I am sorry but asking for a measly two dollars back from you does NOT convey her missing you..it shows that she is keeping score of what you are or are not doing for her.

You never once stated she said ANYthing nice or kind to you...as in "hope you are doing well" or I hope you're happy...THAT is what smeone who cares about you would do..even IF they aren't hearing the words they want to hear.

Stop trying to pick this girls words or actions apart. Take them at face value because in the end..that's exactly who she is.

[settinuplife]

maybe she isn't saying anything nice about me because she isn't happy herself. don't you think if she was happy w/her current situation she wouldn't bother with me. Her bringing her boyfriend up to my apt. is weird when he could've waited right downstairs in her apt. I have a feeling she just wanted to show him who she used to date, she always liked to show me off. Last time she brought a guy she was seeing up, she didn't like him that much, and later complained to me there was no chemistry between the two of them. Maybe she just wanted to make me jealous.

[PlayBrat]

Well you can make all the assumptions you want...

I am not saying she isn't trying to make you jealous...but what does it matter? Even if you ARE jealous, does that kind of manipulation REALLY make you want her back? Did she even have the courtesy to at least introduce him as her "boyfriend"? Or did she just let him stand there like a baffoon? None of us can answer your questions as accurately as you want..none of us are there, so all we can do is give you opinions based on limited info...and it sounds like you are not TRULY taking what is said as advice. You poke holes in every thing that is said...so regardless you are going to do what you want anyway. Draw your own conclusions...

Good luck.