Falling in love with someone, becoming very complicated

[goldennugget]

Im going to use the peoples names because i dont believe they will come on here (i hope) and because i find it hard trying to remember what i have renamed people. My good friend Luke has got a girlfriend called Ruth, they have been going out for about a year. His ex girlfriend is called Rachel and they went out for about 2 years and were first loves and neither of them are really over each other because of that original connection for them. (this will become relevant later)

There is a girl called Nina who i was recently introduced to by my other friend. Nina is the one im falling in love with, she is stunningly beautiful and i find her to be really easy to talk to and joke around with, she actually makes me more confident and i dont mess up when talking to her etc. Since i have met her we have met up a lot with each other and friends and at parties and she is always really flirty with me and we always have a brilliant time. Last friday we went to a party together to celebrate the end of exams, but i didnt really know anyone because they were all her friends, but luckily she stayed with me pretty much all night and by the end we were becoming really close and affectionate.

The problem is that she really likes Luke and i know this for a fact and he likes her, but hes going out with Ruth. On saturday i had a few people over and people got drunk etc. Nina, luke and rachel all came, but luke was very flirty with rachel(the ex) but he also got quite blatantly annoyed when me and Nina were sitting together and talking and so on. At the end of the night luke and rachel ended up kissing, then luke got really weird and stormed out after talking to nina about something and she ran after him and stood outside hugging him and talking with him for about half an hour. Me and the rest of my friends (including rachel) all went to bed and nina and luke stayed up all night talking. The next morning there was bits of tension but everything seemed generally ok.

Annoyingly i was stupid and was quite angry about luke and nina since i always feel cheated because i never have the good luck and im not as good as luke and didnt really interact with everyone, i just made myself busy and cleaned the house up. A couple of times i caught Nina looking at me and she seemed quite disappointed with me or something, which made me feel even worse.

Luke told ruth about what he did with rachel and about liking nina and she dumped him, luke talked with nina the same day about it all and said that he didnt think he was ready for a relationship (and probably because it would be hard for ruth).

I know this all seems worse for them and it probably is, but since im posting it i need help with my problems with it not theirs. I really really like nina and could see myself with her definitely, but i dont know if she likes me or not or just wishes that i was luke.

i dont want her to get hurt by going out with luke as hes still tangled up with rachel, but i dont want her to go out with him because it would hurt me (although not too seriously). I know i have to leave it because i dont want to be a bad guy or force anything on anyone, but i really dont know what to do, its just become so complicated and will become very painful im sure. Please anyone help me, i cant get it out of my head and its distracting me from everything else (i cant comprehend how it is for them)

[Iceman26]

. My good friend Luke

 

There's one of your first problems. This isnt a true friend at all. Not only is he an unfaithful person, but he is making out with his ex and trying to hit on the chick you brought around as well. He sounds like a frickin c*ckblocker that needs a good butt kicking. You gotta draw a line with your friends dude. If I were single and one of my buddies put on a show like that, they would know they deserved a good punch in the nose.

 

Anyways, on to the rest of your problem.

 

Here is how you have to look at Nina. Shes obviously not the brightest apple in the barrel, because she wants to get tangled up with a guy that has a girlfriend, hes seen by her making out with his ex, and she still likes him. Not too much you can do there, and if it were me in your shoes, I wouldnt want to date a girl that dumb. Shes looking to be screwed over.

 

If you warn her about Luke, to steer her away from him, that will only more than likely attract her more to him.

 

If you dont talk trash on Luke, and let things be, who knows what will happen.

 

But riddle me this Batman. Why would you still go for a girl when she doesnt see you the same way you see her?

 

One more thing, dont talk down on yourself. You sound like a much cooler guy than Luke is.

[coolchick]

Man that is one complicated situation! Sounds a bit like dawson's creek? Anyways, i know that you like Nina but the situation is far too complex for you to get involved in. Would you honestly want to involve yourself even further in this? If you start becoming involved with Nina, you'll develop even stronger feelings for her. There's the possibility that she'll leave you for Luke and you'll be the one who gets hurt just like Ruth Your best bet is to try and focus on other things and keep reminding yourself of the complicated and hurtful situation you're about to enter if you decide to persue further. Even leave things for a while and see if it calms down, maybe in a month or so, Nina will be over Luke and wonder why she liked him after what he did to Ruth with Rachel. Let things play out for now then see how it goes. Good luck!

[goldennugget]

I have indeed lost a lot of respect for luke over the weekend, he is a great guy but i dont think he was ever over rachel. Nina told luke that she didnt want to break up a relationship, but it seems it happened anyway. I know your trying to help, but please dont bad mouth the people i like (both luke and nina, because both are good friends).

i know i need to stay away from it all because i know itll hurt, but its one of those really hard things which noone ever wants to be the final answer to a situation. I just wish this hadnt happened and i wish that luke wasnt better than me at everything which makes me me.

I guess all i can do is attempt not to make a fool out of myself and just live to better me not to worry about others.

thanks for the posts, anyone else with any other help would be VERY much appreciated.

[Antimyth]

I just wish this hadnt happened and i wish that luke wasnt better than me at everything which makes me me.

 

Dont put yourself down dude, i bet your good at heaps of stuff. Just go after what you want. Ask Nina out, tell Luke to be a better friend, the above posters are right, a real friend understands who his mate likes and makes way, hell hes got 2 already.

 

Have the confidence in yourself.

[goldennugget]

As an update, since i am drunk and have taken enough pareacetamol to kill me, luke and nina are loving it toghether, she is staying at his tonight. the only person i hace fallen in love with has fuc ked over just like the rest. luckily i dont think ill be here in the morning to care. i hope you guys have a better life than me, i dint care if its a cowards way outt, ive never been properly happy and i wish you guys all the luck you can get, please enjoy the last of what i have left. THe song i wrote about it all is below:

nina you gave me a face for my love

now your gonna go and rip it up

nina your the one that i love

please dont go and leave me in the dust

 

how can i compare with someone as good as him

how can i compare if i have nothing to give

how can i compare if im never going to win

how can i compare, how can i compare with him

 

nina you gave me a face for my love

now please dont go and rip it up

nina you know that i love you

but how can i ever compare

ever compare with luke

 

and thats it, it has music and everything, but i guess its not good enough. have fun, i know i didnt.