Distraught! input please. :*(

[soulfulgirl]

i feel terrible. i was seeing this guy for about 8 months...and he gave me HSV (herpes simplex virus) around the 8th month we were together. he had an outbreak and was shedding the virus and was contagious (after telling me it was only chapped lips when i asked if it was anything more important). we werent official but we were dating and sexually active together. there were definite feelings and everyone knew we were seeing eachother. i never gave him any cold feelings even after ME having a HORENDOUS LONG LASTING OUTBREAK below the waist, i still conforted HIM (because he said he didnt know he had the virus), i never treated him any differently, i was so UNBELIEVABLY forgiving and understanding IT EVEN SHOCKED HIM AT HOW SINCERE AND SYMPATHETIC I WAS ABOUT IT!....

 

BUT i was extremely mentally stressed over contrating the STD. i couldnt even masterbate b/c i was utterly discusted with myself. i havent been able to see him, or anyone sexually either during this time b/c tho i forgave him i still couldnt think of sex anymore. i was mentally distraught and sexually destroyed. i used to have such a high sex drive and now it is damn near gone. i couldnt masterbate for about 2-3 months! i have now begun to grow again and re-create myself into the old me...and finally tonight i go to see him. excited and anxious to be with him again, b/c i have finally found myself to be a sexual being again and gotten over a lot of the mental trauma.......just to find out....hes been seeing someone else this entire 2 months ive been mentally recovering.

 

 

he didnt tell me until i asked him. I WAS WITH THIS GIRL AT THE BAR TONIGHT!!! i like her shes cool, but im so stressed up over this. i feel so used. i felt so dirty for so long, finally recovering ready to start my life again from where i left off, and see where possibly i can go with this guy, and now i feel tossed aside. used, abused, and i feel so shafted.

 

what pisses me off too, he didnt even tell this girl he has herpes. he caused so much trauma to me mentally and physically i may never be 100% me again from contracting this virus from him, and here he is being sexual with a new girl and he hasnt even told her about him having it and that he had given it to me. IM SO MAD, UPSET, AND HISTERICALLY CRYING SINCE I FLIPPED OUT ON HIM OUTSIDE ABOUT A HALF HOUR AGO!! GOD I HATE HIM!! I WANT TO MOVE AWAY! I WANT TO GET AWAY FROM HIM AND ALL THE BS HERE!!! IM SO SICK OF BEING SCREWED OVER IN LIFE BY THE PEOPLE I FALL FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

SOMEONE SHOOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!

 

~soulfulgirl

[sidehop]

I'm very sorry to hear what happened but also there are so many people out there that contract STD's everyday which is very sad. The worst are the people who knowingly spread STD's by not telling their partner.

 

But also don't feel that you are not 100%. As much as STD's are serious, there are treatments available. If you know anyone else that's with the person, you have every right to tell others & try to protect if he is still keeping it as a secret.

[soulfulgirl]

the type the i have is very uncommon to get another outbreak. but GOD I FEEL TERRIBLE! and he didnt even tell her he has it. i hate him. i hate how hes made me feel so this long and now this. im completely distroyed. i work with him and i dont even want to see his ******* face again! he said hes going to have 'the talk' with her eventually...but i told him whats done is done, you already put her at risk. you gave it to me, you could easily give it to her....she may already have caught it from you. DAMN IT I AM SO EMOTIONALLY SCREWED! i cant stop crying.

 

how do i handle this? i want to curse him out, which i definitly let off steam outside, but when i started to cry i floored it and i sped off into the dark. i couldnt stand to look at him. i had a dream the other night that he hooked up with a girl we both knew, and i was sooooo upset about it i called him up to tell him.....i swear im psychic. it was true. and i hadnt the slightest idea of the reality of it! but i felt so terrible in my dream that i woke myself up (because it felt SO REAL, TOO REAL!) and i called him to tell him....only to find out a few days later it was indeed the truth. i feel sick to my stomach.

 

~soulfulgirl

[newts]

Herpes is a very serious STD, and you need to tell your ex partner if he doesn't tell his new girlfriend you will! It is not fair that he is not being totally up front about his STD as herpes can be transmitted even if the signs are not fully blown. Don't fell disgusted in yourself, you too have to be up front with your new partner aout this disease, and yes most people will be cautious at first, however, you will somebody who is understanding.

I was in a serious relationship with somebody and when we broke up after a year and a half the girl he wwent to after 2 days of our seperation made him get a STD check before she would sleep with him without using a condom, he found out he had claymidia which e also passed on to me. I felt digusting, I felt as though he knew he had it. He told his new girlfriend he had contracted from me, because I use to sleep around. This is so untrue, anyway, I am glad he is out of my life and he found out that he had it and told me. Good bye good luck to selfish digusting people like these. There is somebody true, honest, understanding and loving waiting for us out there, that wont cause us pain and humiliation

[soulfulgirl]

i have a type that is highly uncommon to come back in a future outbreak (only 2-5%). i am beginning to come to terms w/ it 100% and within this past month ive been hangin with a frined of mine and he professed his love for me and he knows i have it. so i know there are people out there accepting of it. b/c its really not serious. its more of a mental disorder due to this social stigma that comes with its name. ive done a ton of research. but i just feel like i took time to recover from what HE GAVE ME, then to have him screwing a new girl (one of his closest friends!) who doesnt even know he has it...HES TOO COWARD TO SAY ANYTHING! PLUS, we were SUCH GREAT FRIENDS HIM AND I...REALLY BEST BUDS...and decided to take it further. i dont even want to look at him anymore. im really distraught. lost a friend, a lover, and gained a virus.

 

~soulfulgirl

[newts]

I am sorry, you have lost nothing in this person, true friends don't give you sexually transmitted diseases and nor do they toss you aside and move onto a new friend when you have been so sopportive of them. You lost nothing in this person, people like him are uses and they will never form true friendship with anybody out of true selfishness for themselves. I am glad you have found someone new to love you and cherish you as this is what everybody deserves. My ex tried to say I was his best friend, I told he is not mine as my true friends don't give me STD's and run off and find a new playmate because I don't want to play anymore.

[curbie]

Sue him! I'm sorry to hear the troubles, honestly I am. Guys like him should be *sigh* shot I reckon...or at least deported. If I were you, I would've told that other girl...and be like "Hey..this loser here has a HSV...I don't think you wanna fool with him.." Just my 2 cents...

[annie24]

link removed

 

It's a website that anonymously lets someone know that they may have been exposed to an STD.

 

I'm sorry about this scumbag you met. I hope you don't have another outbreak.

[Empathy]

From what I understand you were given HSV-1. It is the virus that causes cold sores on the lips and it has not been considered an std for very long. I'm assuming you contracted it through oral sex. It is estimated that roughly 2/3 of the people who have HSV-1 and/or HSV-2 do not show any symptoms. About 60% of people over the age of 12 is infected with oral HSV-1. One other misconception that I have read even here in this thread is that HSV is a serious disease. It's beliefs like this that keep the stigma against HSV and the people who have it going. HSV is only a serious condition in people with compromised immune systems, when it reaches the eye, and when there is a possibility it can be passed from mother to child. In that case a cesarean section is done. 1 in 5 people has HSV-2 alone. It is the second most common std after genital warts. Sometimes it flip flops back and forth. Some years genital herpes is considered more common than warts.

Go to these sites: link removed

link removed

[Arrowsmith]

When I got herpes, I was depressed for quite a while. There's good news though: lots of people have it, and in my experience people are very understanding about it (I've never had someone turn on me -- or even back off from sex -- when I told them about it). Crazy as it sounds, having to talk about it before sex has actually brought sex partners closer, not pushed them away. People admire honesty. I'm sorry honesty wasn't extended toward you or that other girl.

 

Your life is not ruined, and I'm sure your future contains rewarding relationships. Keep in mind that there is someone (me) on the internet who identifies with you, cares about your situation, and wishes you a speedy recovery.