NO ONE screws with your self respect and your self worth.

[freedom]

I am goingt o share this with you men out there because it has help me see thru the game of tug a war.

I was told this by an older gentleman today after i told him my story about me trying to get my 'soulmate' back,

"you are a disgrace to men !"

OUCH!

He further explains that you are a MAN, you have the balls, so act like a friging man! (btw he was a hell lot more explict with his language)

*A man don't ever let anyone disrespect him in any way,

No one disrespects him and if they do he would just cut them off. SIMPLE.

So has your 'loved' one disrespected you?

*A man doesnt ever demotes hiimself to a lower level, especailly to a woman that he 'loves'.

have you disrespected yourself by grovalling to get her attention? if so be a MAN get up and move on, you have lowered yourself far enough.

*A man is a KING within his domain

Are you confident with yourself and who you are? if yes then good, then good move on, If you say no then get your lazy [Removed by Moderator] up and start being a man that you should be. You dont need anyone elses attention, you are the man. Get the hell up, dust yourself off and move on and dont lok back.

*Man will put himself at the top of the priority list.

Are you on top of your game? if she is on top of you on the priority list then knock he the hell down, you should be the top. Who is going to be there for you when you are sick? her? i dont think so. The only person that is going to be there in imes of trouble is you yourself. So start looking after yourself and start having some respect for yourself. You have gotten this far in life without her because you were on the top of your prioirity list she wasnt there from the very start.

*lastly, do you really think that a woman respect a guy that is grovelling at her feet?

Would you respect a guy that is grovelling at your feet and doing eveything for you, even though you know it is the wrong thing to do?

like begging for the attention. NO it dont think so. Women has always like a confident man by her side, not a wimp!

So i hope this helped you guys, i knowit has helped me. Now get off your [Removed by Moderator], get up and move on to see a bigger world. She might then realise that you have moved on and try coming back.

There is on thing that i have to add to that. Never do the changes for her, do it for yourself. Because if you do these changes for her, and it isn’t true, and IF she comes back, she will discover that it is a fake and then REALLY disrespect you. Which would mean that you are back in the hole of disrepecting yourself again, thus you haven't move on! get it!

THIS SHOULD NOT BE A GAME, it is about you and yourself respect. THE GAME WILL STOP when you decide that you are a man and take a position of a man. Which means that NO ONE screws with your self respect and your self worth even yourself!

[itry]

this advice should be unisex...

 

i read ur quote " NO ONE screws with your self respect and your self worth even yourself!" and something hit home...

 

man or woman... wake up and smell the coffee...noones worth begging for. its pathetic and demeaning.

 

and if ur with someone and u cant come up with a good reason that promotes a healthy mental and emotional... then dont do it to urself. a pack of double A batteries or some baby oil will be ok until someone else comes along.....

 

 

*sigh*

 

easier said than done huh? .... but im sure itll be worth it in the end...10years from now..this moment wont matter at all...

[freedom]

itry,

i agree with the whole topic should be unisex but i the older gentlemen said this to me.

It really hit home for me. How far have i sank. and low is low enough, it is time to climb the hell up from this hole that i have dug for myself.

It is a funny realisation that the hole i dug was never dug by her or the relationship. It was dug by me myself. So it is time to climb out. kick my heals and move the hell on. I really realise that it was never about the partner, it was about myself and i was doing this for myself.

Hoped this has helped out.

I have read the when you love someone i are willing to give up total control which is true but respect doesnt fall into that category. Respect has never been negotiable. Respect and control are mutually exclusive when it comes to relationship and love. YOU always have to keep yourself respect when it comes to a relationship because that is who your are. Who are you without self respect?

NEVER DISREPECT YOURSELF

[Mr. B]

I'd agree with most of that, althoguh I see nothing wrong with putting others before yourself rather than being self-centered and perhaps selfish, which IMO is unrealted to respecting yourself.

[freedom]

Mr B,

with respect to your opinion a about putting others before yourself, i think you are right to a certain extent, but you should never put others before your self respect. that is what the whole topic is about. Generally putting other before yourself is a good thing about never b4 your self respect and your self worth. You must know the saying, how can you expect other to love you if you don't love your self. well you can say the same thing about respect... how do you expect others to respect you if you don't respect yourself?

Know what i mean?

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Hey Freedom I am proud of you man. It seems like you have gone through some major changes in the past few months. I have noticed your posts change and become stronger and more self-assured, seriously. Keep it up!

[freedom]

Thanks Napoleon Bonaparte,

Hey thanks, it funny i realized that i keep losing myself in relationships. i tend to give too much and i lose myself. Cant seem to figure to out why. hmmmm. It is funny that people talk about love and caring when they dont give themselves to it and always hold something back, and i figure that something is self respect and self worth. Anway, i have learnt from this experience and i have learnt to say c'est la vie and meant it too.

c'est la Vie! people come and people go

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Freedom giving a 1000 percent like you have been is great; knowing your self-worth in giving a 1000 percent means she's gotta be giving back a lot also or it just drains you and leaves you feeling worthless. I've been there too many times, but once you realize your own self-worth as a lover, a friend, a companion and a human being you quit wasting as much time on those people who can't ever appreciate it. You are gonnna find somebody who loves you as much as you love them, not just cuz you are a nice guy but also cuz I am sure you have a lot to offer. Just relax, keep your present mind set and be yourself.

[itry]

and from a womans point of view....

 

self confidence is def. more attractive....groveling is only amusing...

[freedom]

itry,

I hope that you will actually stop men from demeaning themselves by grovelling cause i figured that though it is amusing for one side it is humiliating and demeaning for the other especially when one side get a kick/ego boost from the attention.

[itry]

thats what ppl need to realize... groveling does NADA - NOTHING only makes the person feel even worse after its over...

 

ive been on both sides.. the groveling side and the amused side...

 

from my point of view, the amused sides gets sooo turned off...

 

the groveling side... gets soooo depressed

 

its like a lose lose situation. u want the other persons attention? fool proof plan? pretend to enjoy urself. go out, do something. look good at whatever ur doing.... thatll cause the other side to react as u would have

[kazman32]

Nothing worse then begging then being turned down,you feel humilated afterwards.I learned my lesson,I will never be weak like that again.

[freedom]

eah grovelling is not a good thing, specially when you really think about it the person will always see you in the state forever!

Now that is the humilliating but, worst still if it is in text format cause they have the proof.

But i have to say, grovelling does give the other a huge ego boost because they control the situation.

I think ending a relationship of any form is very hard especially when you both have the same friends, thereforeeee a split in the friendship you both have. I suppose that is where your self worth is most tested, when you can stand there and say, "i am who i am, like me or not i dont care, i am strong and people come in and out of my life just like everyone else, i will find other true friends that will stand by me."

And guess what? you turn back and look and you realise that your family and true friends has always been there, right behind you, ever willing to help, but you just didnt realise it. I love my true friends but most of all i love my family.