Should I give closure to a narcissist ex?wnt

[TeeDee]

16 hours ago, James90 said:

 

 

15 hours ago, James90 said:

But I wanted to give her closure and then block her without seeing her response. 

You can't give her closure.  Closure comes from within, not from another person. 

Your talk to closure is a modern twist on wishing an Ex Happy Birthday.  It's an excuse to reopen communication because deep down you want to get back together. 

You know getting back with her is a bad idea.  

15 hours ago, James90 said:

I'm really sorry guys, I feel incredibly ashamed.

There's nothing to be ashamed about.  You liked this girl & she took advantage.  Just don't make the same mistake again 

 

22 minutes ago, James90 said:

Im sick

Just wish I knew you why

ive called her out on things that I'm doing myself

ive projected and blame shifted and not taken accountability and reacted like an injured animal because I haven't been able to get my fix.

i take Ritalin for my ADHD

theres an element of hurting myself here/ self sabotaging.

I don't know if I'm a bad person or not. I do hope she's ok. But I don't feel like I'm aware of what I'm doing. But it is selfish whether I want to believe it or not.

You are not sick.  You are not a bad person.  Wanting to be loved is not selfish.  

Recognize that you & this woman were never a good fit.  She was hurtful & manipulative.  Use this failed relationship & learn to recognize red flags.  When somebody treats you poorly, get out. 

One thing about your behavior did strike me though.   You mentioned something about her making you jealous by mentioning that an actor was "hot" then making you watch a movie starring that actor while you & her were in bed.  It was an actor, not somebody she knows.  If you get jealous over celluloid, that is a problem you need to address.  

You also mentioned something about a mortgage.  Hopefully you are still buying a house.  Put your energy into fixing that up.  Make it a place you can be proud of & use your fresh start in a new neighborhood to see who is around there.  

[Starlight925]

2 hours ago, James90 said:

ive projected and blame shifted and not taken accountability and reacted like an injured animal because I haven't been able to get my fix.

i take Ritalin for my ADHD

theres an element of hurting myself here/ self sabotaging.

I've highlighted all the psychobabble terms you used in just this one post.

These terms are keeping you stuck.

They are giving you an excuse to ruminate over her, over this situation.

Stop using these terms, and if talking this through would help you, then a great therapist might be in order.

There is nothing "wrong" with you.  But a qualified therapist can help walk you through how you got here, and how to move forward, finding a nice girl who will treat you well.

 

[James90]

Thanks all

I've lined up a therapist