Feelings from those who aren't quite as strong

[mrsadman]

After my girlfriend of one month and three days broke up with me because I told her that I loved her in one month and because of her unchanging parents. I contacted her by email later that night saying that I wanted her to change her mind and that I loved her really much because at that time of the break up I was so shocked I could not say a word she was my first girlfriend I am 18 years old and so is she. Then I wrote her another email the next day after she didn't show up in class that Friday of Feb 14 saying that I wanted her back but I understood the reason she broke up with me I couldn't call her because of the parent issue. She never responded to the two and I felt so bad and I felt like I lost all my dignity because I poured my heart out on those two emails. How did you others feel when you contacted your ex by email or otherwise and they did not respond back. Yet sometimes I think I was impatient because I wanted her to respond right away and maybe she didn't read her emails that whole week after she broke up with me but I wanted a response quickly. But when I she did come to class that Monday she didn't even look at me but I couldn't look at her either at her either and when when the class ended she waited till I left and walked way behind me kind of avoiding me so I wrote her an email asking her could we be still be friends and saying we were friends before the relationship and I'm sure we could return to that. Even though it no way I could be her friend with the love feelings I have for her it would be to hard. Which made me lose even more dignity because I was giving up on the idea of her taking my back and making her feel better about breaking up with me. Don't get me wrong I don't want her make her feel bad ( but I kinda did) because I'm sure it wasn't easy on her breaking up with me but I wanted her to feel kind of sad and bad about breaking up with me because I was feeling really sad and like a loser, but since I wrote that email I was kinding of saying that I took the break up easy. Which is definitely not true I took it hard and I'm still not recovering from it and its been four months. I just wrote the email so I could get a response back and as soon as I sent it I got her to email me back saying that she was okay with having a friendship and she was just giving me some space. I was so happy she emailed me back I emailed her right back saying she was good person for allowing me to be friends with her which stripped away another piece of my dignity but I was so in love with her I couldn't stop and I said that I couldn't be only her friend because of strong feelings for her and I still had hope that we would get back together probably be another rookie mistake because now I was giving her all the power and satisfication. The next day of class she looked at me and said hi and I said hi back. I felt good that she was now finally talking to me but bad because she thought I took the break up good. I know she thought that because one of her friends that was both of our friends our first semester asked her about the relationship and that friend asked why did she break up with me and how did I take it and my ex said because I told her that I loved he in one month and she wasn't ready and that I took the bad news good. That totally shocked me because she told me another reason why she broke up with her parents and that she thought I took the bad news good. I wanted her to honestly think I took it hard so she would feel sorry that she broke up with me. I'm sure all guys who have been broken up with want their ex girl to feel very sorry for breaking up with you no matter the reason. So basically am I asking how did you guys or girls who weren't as strong and contacted the ex begging them to take them back feel after you did it. And also did you want the ex to feel bad for breaking up with you. And those who thought your ex thought you took the break up good feel I know I felt even worse.

[SwingFox]

Hello mr sadman,

 

Thank you for your posting on eNotalone.com. I am sorry to hear that your g/f break up on you and that you are still going through a hard time because of it. I think that the first time ever breaking up is the most difficult, because everything is so new, like the first time expressing your love to someone.

 

Love is a funny thing and there are really no rules when it comes to love and breaking up. It varies from person to person and couple to couple. One person feels the need to beg, to make the other guy or girl understand how much they love them. Another person just walks away. It also depends on how much love is still there and what exactly happened during the break up.

 

You claimed that you feel you made a few mistakes. If you feel like that, I would evaluate them and learn from them, so that you wouldn't make the same mistake again. I also recommend you not too feel too bad over what you did and what happened, because you are you and I believe that people have to respect you for who YOU are. If you wouldn't, you might start to act like someone that you are NOT. I think that's not an ideal situation. Remain yourself is my advice

 

I hope that this helped you and I wish you good luck in what you do.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[mrsadman]

Thank you SwingFox yeah that was the problem I didn't have respect for myself or confidence and I ruined it with my obsessiveness to get her to fall in love with me. I need more advice how many guys out there have caved in and called or emailed like me your ex after she just broke up with you. I know people say don't do that wait for your ex to call but I was too scared to think she wouldn't so I caved in. I wrote her two emails telling her I want her back and how I would change I wouldn't be as shy as I was. She never responded until I wrote a email telling her that I just wanted to be friends even though thats not what I wanted I wanted to be more than friends and ended up costing me a girl and a friend. Man am I a total loser.

[bk]

This sounds a lot like what I am going through right now with someone I had only been going out with for 2 months. At least be happy that you know what's wrong and what caused it, because she wouldn't even tell me what I did that caused her to loose interest and pull away. Now I'm going through all the blame yourself emotions wondering what I did or didn't do, was I not aggressive enough, was I too aggressive, was I too attached, etc... So I broke down and wrote her an email the next day and asked why, and why whatever it was couldn't be worked out. I still haven't receieved a response but it has only been a few days. This is definitely the toughest emotional experience I have ever been through and I have been strong at holding tears back in the past even with severely breaking my leg and physical pain, but this just totally caught me off guard. I hope that your situation improves as well as mine.