Moondoll Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now, and he's recently been discussing future plans, including the possibility of engagement. Excited about this, I turned to my sister for advice since she recently got married and knows my boyfriend well, as her husband shares some mutual friends. She encouraged me to move forward and seemed genuinely happy for me. However, a few days later, my boyfriend called me upset because he received a call from my sister's husband accusing him of talking behind his back. In theearly stages of our relationship, my boyfriend to me that my sister’s husband (not at the time) was a bit of a ladies man," which I mentioned to my sister as she was getting serious with him, just advising her to be cautious. This happened over a year ago, and I'm puzzled as to why both my sister and her husband are now bringing so much unnecessary drama. I'm concerned that my boyfriend may no longer trust me Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 12 minutes ago, Moondoll said: , I turned to my sister for advice since she recently got married and knows my boyfriend well, as her husband shares some mutual friends. My boyfriend called me upset because he received a call from my sister's husband accusing him of talking behind his back. Sorry this happened. Why would your brother in law call your BF and complain about whatever you confided in them for about? Hi is your relationship overall and why are your sister and brother in law so involved? What was said "behind your BFs back" that upset him so much?! Link to comment
Moondoll Posted January 27 Author Share Posted January 27 It was my brother-in-law. I would think so, considering he felt the need to confront him over something that was said a year ago. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 31 minutes ago, Moondoll said: It was my brother-in-law. I would think so, considering he felt the need to confront him over something that was said a year ago. Do you mean you told your sister that her husband was a lady's man according to your BF and this gossip got back to her husband? Could you please clarify what exactly was the problem and why your brother in law recently called your BF and about what? 1 Link to comment
Moondoll Posted January 27 Author Share Posted January 27 My boyfriend called last week to let me know that my brother-in-law accused me of saying negative things about him. One of the issues raised was that he's a ladies' man, something he mentioned to me in confidence about a year ago, and I shared with my sister before their marriage. He's upset because my brother-in-law also disclosed this to their mutual friends. My boyfriend only confided in me because I asked about it at the time, knowing my sister was serious about marrying him (my now brother-in-law) What troubles me is that I recently shared with my sister how close my boyfriend and I have become and that we're considering getting engaged soon. Why would she bring up these old issues now, after a year? Is she trying to cause problems for me? When I confronted her about it, she said its her husband and she had to tell him. She has a whole year to share it with him - why now? Link to comment
smackie9 Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 Want this settled? Everyone needs to get together and your BF apologize to him for talking smack behind his back. Talk this out like adults. Link to comment
Kwothe28 Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 1 hour ago, Moondoll said: Why would she bring up these old issues now, after a year? Is she trying to cause problems for me? When I confronted her about it, she said its her husband and she had to tell him. She has a whole year to share it with him - why now? Some people would do anything to avoid accountability. It was you who broked your boyfriend trust. Its you who should apologize. Instead of thinking how your sister is "out and about to ruin your engagement". Link to comment
Moondoll Posted January 27 Author Share Posted January 27 25 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said: Some people would do anything to avoid accountability. It was you who broked your boyfriend trust. Its you who should apologize. Instead of thinking how your sister is "out and about to ruin your engagement". That's a valid point! She's confided in me about so many things too, and I haven't repeated any of it. I acknowledge my mistakes, but I also believe she shares some responsibility. Why didn't she inform her partner when I first told her, instead of waiting an entire YEAR? It just doesn't add up. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 4 minutes ago, Moondoll said: . Why didn't she inform her partner when I first told her, instead of waiting an entire YEAR? It just doesn't add up. Apologize to your brother in law for spreading vicious gossip about him. That's the only way for you to fix this. Link to comment
Jaunty Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 Way too much "he said, she said" in this story. Seems like your relationship is extremely mixed up with other people. 2 Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 1 hour ago, Moondoll said: he's a ladies' man, something he mentioned to me in confidence about a year ago, and I shared with my sister "In confidence" means he expected you to keep it to yourself. Did you ask him if he was OK with you sharing this "in confidence" info with your sister? Link to comment
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