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[adviceseeeeker123]

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[shouldhavelearned]

What's with all the moving?

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, adviceseeeeker123 said:

 we are exes that are both living our lives and doing our own thing who are basically no contact other than when our paths overlap (in the same location) then we talk and try to figure out plans to meet up. 

Are either of you in other relationships? Are you just friends catching up or hoping for more? 

[Wiseman2]

14 minutes ago, adviceseeeeker123 said:

. But now he is planning on moving back to a nearby city for a few months and then maybe moving back to where I live after those few months before leaving again to go to the other side of the world. 

It seems like you could enjoy something temporary, but he seems to not want to put down roots or be tied down to anything long-term.

[Batya33]

Lots of words but it’s simple. Cut through the mental gymnastics. It doesn’t matter why. Neither of you wants to be together badly enough to do what it takes. Might be bad timing. Might be “just not that into you”. Telling yourself fairy tales about how it will be right in a few years is just that. If there comes a time in the future when you both really want to be together and if you both are single you two will make it happen. Until then I’d back off of being “friends”. Certainly be friendly if you run into each other but keep your distance because friends chat about who they are dating and want to date. That’s not going to work here and it will hurt any chance of being together in the future (I got back together with my ex fiancé after almost 8 years totally apart - we were at most casual acquaintances who emailed a few times a year at most ) - and we had obstacles when we got back together. We were long distance.

I’d have to relocate to marry him most likely. We’ll be married 15 years very soon  

And we were in our late 30s and wanted a family.

But we had zero obstacles when it came to wanting to be together and exclusive. We both wanted that to the moon and back. If you don’t. Why bother trying to do some “friendship “.  
Simply know if the time comes and it’s right you’ll meet up and you won’t need lots of chatter and words - it will be a basic “want to give this a try “ and the other person will say YES.