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I think one of my friends is going AWOL on me :(

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Hey all... I think one of my good friends has purposefully cut me out of the picture... I might be wrong though,maybe/probably paranoid.but im a little confused on what to do.Please read and help if you can.


Met her a few months ago... at an alternative school.and we just kind of clicked together,or so it seemed.I had a huge crush at first,but it quickly turned into a non-sexual crush. Just because we had so much in common.Same taste in music(depeche mode,the cure,the faint, etc),same taste in movies...


But anyway... I have horrid anxiety issues,social phobia, and OCD etc... and I was forced to tell her about them... because I embarrassed myself with my stupid problems a few times(acting really erratic and nervous etc)usually I can act calm and comfortable,even when Im not. But anyway I rarely talk to just anyone about it,I mainly try to keep it a secret.(most people never notice) But that might have scared her off.


But I told her about it,because she's bipolar and OCD...so I thought she might understand or even relate.And she SEEMED and ACTED like she did.But I have a strong feeling that she just says that.In fact... I think this whole "friendship" I thought I had was just her killing time.


Anyway(sorry if this is geting long im a little worried) but she went to california a few weeks ago...for vacation, she was supposed to be gone 2 weeks its been 4,she said she'd call me when she got there...that didnt happen and when she got back...that didnt happen.


And I was at a show tonight and saw one of her friends who said that she was there earlier.So obviously she is back.And I feel like shes avoiding me.


But I have this thing in the back of my head...like she wants to cut me out.Like our group of friends back at school... we cut them out because they were obnoxious.When we graduated she said "good thing we never have to see them again" even though she always acted like she liked them.


So what if she's saying right now "god im glad I never have to see that psycho again"


Well thats what im worried about,even though I always felt like we really connected....I mean I was lead to believe that she actually cared about me....Oh and 1 thing I did do right... I never lead her to believe that she means alot to me... I always act calm...collected(even when Im not)...and I always act like she's just another friend of mine...even though she means alot to me...and I never complain and drone on about my problems... because no one likes that.So if I have done something wrong...I have no idea what.


Anyway I miss my freaking campadre


I cant listen to alot of the music ive recently been geting into..because SHE got me into them....


Anyways Im going to let this post collect for a few days and then im going to delete if possible... because for some reason I think she might find it or something I dont know.

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Absent With Out Leave.

Sure, but maybe you should chase her a bit. "Bump" into her, and see how she acts. Call her up and just ask how the vacation went, dont bring up anything like, where have you been or why havnt you called. Ask her how she liked the concert, if she asks how you knew she went. Tell her you saw one of her friends there and chatted with him/her. Most of this you can answer yourself, just be sly about it. Good luck. BTW, I dont think she'll find the post, dont worry.

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AWOL was the wrong word to use, she doesnt need permission to leave or anything I just meant like... my campadre is gone and never coming back...and I miss having her around...bleh maybe ill call tomorrow... even though Im really OCD about phones...


Bleh another thing bothering me is if we do start hanging out the only thing Ill be thinking of is how I embarrassed myself the last time we were hanging out... I was having a bad anxiety day...it was really embarrassing I must have apologized 1000 times...I hate when I act all erratic and paranoid and just do random things...it really puts off a bad vibe..and it embarrasses the hell out of me...


Im in a catch 22 maybe I should just find a new friend

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Well does she come to this site?? I dought she will know you posted, I mean she would first have to be on this site, and a whole lot of people aren't, and then she would have to run into yours and make and usumption that it was yours, which she wouldn't probably do. she would basically have to know your sign in, so I think you'll be ok.

good luck.


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