Should I (F30) wait for my ex (M31) ?

[Whynotanonymous]

For some context me and my ex were together for 6 years. We broke up in June 2021 because he thought I cheated which I didn't. After that I decided to break up for good even though he wanted to get
back together. After 5 months I jumped into another relationship rather quickly and he was very heartbroken because he still wanted to work things
out. (We were still in touch). He went through a very dark time after he found out I jumped into that other
relationship. I ended up breaking up with the guy after 4 months because I realized I still wanted to be
with my ex. My ex and I were still talking even when I was with the new guy. He said he was not taking me
back because of how hurt He was. Last year late in November my ex got engaged as he is Muslim. He
was still calling me and he said he couldn't find the comfort with her because of how I broke his heart.
Even though I was hurt too because I thought we would get back together, I tried to give him advice
on how to manage his feelings towards his new fiancé. They broke up earlier this year and he called me and said he wants us to try but that it would take
a very long time as there were a lot of issues in our relationship and we also had a very ugly breakup. I
was happy but he was still talking to other girls and in the past few weeks he has asked me to not try
because he doesn't know what he wants. A month ago we went to a therapist as he asked me to start
going to therapy but we only did one session because as I just mentioned he started saying he is
confused. His parents are also not happy he is talking to me again and they do not support our
relationship. I guess i am just looking for advice Should I move on or wait for him to make up his mind? 
 

Thank you. 

[Wiseman2]

56 minutes ago, Whynotanonymous said:

  in November my ex got engaged as he is Muslim. His parents are also not happy he is talking to me again and they do not support our relationship.

Sorry this is happening. Is he scheduled for an arranged marriage? Please don't accept the blame for his confusion. 

Unfortunately on/off relationships are fraught with unresolved incompatibilities and conflicts combined with an unhealthy attachment.

Continue therapy privately and confidentiality. Please reconsider moving forward to avoid the headaches and heartaches. Don't throw your youth and life away on "hurt" and "confused" men.

[Whynotanonymous]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. Is he scheduled for an arranged marriage? Please don't accept the blame for his confusion. 

Unfortunately on/off relationships are fraught with unresolved incompatibilities and conflicts combined with an unhealthy attachment.

Continue therapy privately and confidentiality. Please reconsider moving forward to avoid the headaches and heartaches. Don't throw your youth and life away on "hurt" and "confused" men.

 

 

He is no longer engaged but he was set up with a fiancé for an arranged marriage but they broke it off early January and that’s when he called me and said he wanted to try. Thank you for your advice. 

[shouldhavelearned]

Don't think this would work long term.

[MissCanuck]

3 hours ago, Whynotanonymous said:

A month ago we went to a therapist as he asked me to start going to therapy

You should not have agreed to this. He is your ex. He doesn't get to ask you to attend therapy. 

3 hours ago, Whynotanonymous said:

Should I move on or wait for him to make up his mind? 

You need to move on. This has practically no chance of working out in the long run, and a very high chance that you will get hurt all over again. 

[Batya33]

6 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

You should not have agreed to this. He is your ex. He doesn't get to ask you to attend therapy. 

You need to move on. This has practically no chance of working out in the long run, and a very high chance that you will get hurt all over again. 

I agree.

And even though you didn't cheat he might wonder about your continuing to "talk" to him while you were exclusive with someone else -might make him feel a bit wary about getting involved.  I agree it makes no sense to go to therapy.  I'd move on -you've invested more than enough time and emotion in this.

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, Whynotanonymous said:

For some context me and my ex were together for 6 years.  my ex got engaged as he is Muslim. 

He has known all along what his cultural and religious expectations were. He's known the entire time you were dating that eventually his family would arrange his marriage.

Unfortunately now that he chose to break his engagement (if that's even true), he contacts you. And worse... makes you feel guilty.  Please block and delete him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

[Whynotanonymous]

38 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

He has known all along what his cultural and religious expectations were. He's known the entire time you were dating that eventually his family would arrange his marriage.

Unfortunately now that he chose to break his engagement (if that's even true), he contacts you. And worse... makes you feel guilty.  Please block and delete him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

I did meet his parents and they accepted the relationship when we were together. But it took a lot of fighting from his end for his family to accept It. Now they don’t support it at all after what he went through with the breakup. I was hoping we would be able to figure it out but I don’t think it’s possible.