Am I seeing something that’s not there? Is she just flirty or is she interest?

[Alittlehelpplz]

Ok, I met this girl recently. Well we have class together. We just started to talk to each other recently. 

so we officially started school together last month. I noticed her and realized she is very sociable borderline flirtatious but I didn’t pay enough attention to be sure of that 

anyway, I walked in class one day and she starting talking to me and since then we become school friends. 
 

I got the idea she might be interested because when she talks to me, she gets super close to me like inches away from my face, she’s really touchy, hits and grabs my arm, grab my leg etc. Lean across me, keeps close physical contact in someway. 
 

I didn’t think too much about it until today. We had class and after we ended sitting in my car for 2 hours talking about almost anything. 
-sexual experiences -comparability with diff ent signs, dating weaknesses, preferences, funny stories about your past. Sexual and non. We only stopped because I had to go. 
while there, she mentioned that she gets in trouble a lot because of the way that she is. A lot of people confuse her natural behavior as flirting. 
so I agreed and said I could definitely see why people would think that. She also mentioned the way someone would know the difference is if they were on a date for example she’d put her hand on his leg. Hitting his arm playfully isnt flirting. I said ok. 

I told her I’m normally the type of person who likes to become friends with potentials before dating. She asked if something was to happen with someone you liked but was friends with, would I stop it. I said Ofcourse not. I like the person and I would still treat them like I do but I would like to learn more about them before dating. She said she’s the opposite, it’s easier for her to get closer to someone physically and the emotional, real stuff comes later. 

started making me question our interactions. I thought about asking her out while we were sitting there talking but talked myself out of it. Thought about kissing her when we started talking about kissing, she was telling me about someone else this guy she knows who has a girlfriend. 
she told me she was with him and they were sitting in the car like we were talked for hours. I asked if she wished he would have kissed her. She said yes, (she didn’t know he had a girlfriend at the time) it’s just a kiss. Maybe then we could’ve tested our compatibility. Her words. I thought about it, but thought otherwise. 
 

anyway after I told her I had to go. She gets out and I do as well. She comes up and gives me a hug then she left. 
 

this is a reason I think she may not like me like that. 
- she told me about a current fwb she has. Said she doesn’t like him like that. They aren’t compatible because differences in future goals. But now she calls him when she wants that. ( I’m not shaming, I have my own fwb( similar situation actually)) the thing is I didn’t tell her about mine because why would I tell someone I’m interested in about someone I’m currently sleeping with on occasion. 
 

also, she’s very open and honest about her thoughts and her past. She’s not ashamed or care what people would think of her because how she lives her life. I really like that. 
 

she also asked if I would bail on a girl I liked if we were to have sex on the first date. I said absolutely not. I would still very much be attracted to you, the only difference is. I would have already seen you naked. 
 

im asking this question because I want to ask her out but I don’t want to make this awkward. I’m going to be around this girl for the next couple years.

worth it if it works out. Possible problem if it doesn’t. 
I was going to text her and ask. It’s possible I won’t see her again at school for a while 

[Kwothe28]

 

10 minutes ago, Alittlehelpplz said:

I have my own fwb( similar situation actually)) the thing is I didn’t tell her about mine because why would I tell someone I’m interested in about someone I’m currently sleeping with on occasion. 
 

What does this tells you? 

You are interested in her so you didnt told her about your sex adventures. What does she telling you about hers means? 

That is right, that she is not interested in dating you. Otherwise she wouldnt told you about her FWB or how she was about to kiss some other man. Because you dont tell stories like that to somebody you are interested because it gives a wrong impression. 

Also, this one is communist China of red flags. Stay away from her.

[Wiseman2]

30 minutes ago, Alittlehelpplz said:

.  she told me about a current fwb she has. 

There seems to be a few complications you identified. One is you see each other and it could get messy. The other is she's already in a situationship. And so are you. Then finally, she seems to talk to you like a male-girlfriend, looking for dating advice.  

[Alittlehelpplz]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

There seems to be a few complications you identified. One is you see each other and it could get messy. The other is she's already in a situationship. And so are you. Then finally, she seems to talk to you like a male-girlfriend, looking for dating advice.  

Yea, perhaps you’re right. Maybe I should take a step back. She hasn’t asked for advice or anything just kept saying I’m not easy or anything then would tell a story. In her defense I did ask. She asked me the wildest thing I’ve ever done and I told her I’ll tell her if she tells me hers. So I did ask. 
but like you said, I told stories from the past, not the present.  

[shouldhavelearned]

Ask her out, what's it going to hurt

Sounds like she wants to dump the current fwb and maybe have you take over

[MissCanuck]

She sounds quite immature and the type who likes to stir up guys  because it makes her feel desirable. 

You could ask her out but I would tread cautiously. It seems to me that you wouldn't be able to take her very seriously before she's off looking for attention from the next guy. 

[smackie9]

This could be anything. From what she has told you, all arrows point to attention. She likes guys making a move on her, it makes her feel desired. I suspect though she likes to play the field and play around which is fine, she's young she shouldn't waste her youth on serious relationships anyways. I don't see red flags with someone this young. High school/college should be about experiences, even experimentation.

Anyways, if you are looking for a GF, this isn't the girl for you. Look for someone that matches your personality and expectations. Just because a girl gives you attention doesn't mean you should jump at it. If you are confused, and seek advice, it's a bad match.

[SooSad33]

On 7/2/2023 at 11:53 AM, Alittlehelpplz said:

she mentioned that she gets in trouble a lot because of the way that she is. A lot of people confuse her natural behavior as flirting. 
so I agreed and said I could definitely see why people would think that

Major heads up!

 

On 7/2/2023 at 11:53 AM, Alittlehelpplz said:

I like the person and I would still treat them like I do but I would like to learn more about them before dating. She said she’s the opposite, it’s easier for her to get closer to someone physically and the emotional, real stuff comes later. 

Oh, I think you're getting to know her enough...

 

On 7/2/2023 at 11:53 AM, Alittlehelpplz said:

started making me question our interactions. I thought about asking her out while we were sitting there talking but talked myself out of it. Thought about kissing her when we started talking about kissing, she was telling me about someone else this guy she knows who has a girlfriend. 
she told me she was with him and they were sitting in the car like we were talked for hours. I asked if she wished he would have kissed her. She said yes,

I am glad at least YOU Have some self control. 😉 

 

On 7/2/2023 at 11:53 AM, Alittlehelpplz said:

- she told me about a current fwb she has. Said she doesn’t like him like that. They aren’t compatible because differences in future goals

Another good point - differences.  I think you two are opposites.

 

On 7/2/2023 at 11:53 AM, Alittlehelpplz said:

I got the idea she might be interested because when she talks to me, she gets super close to me like inches away from my face, she’s really touchy, hits and grabs my arm, grab my leg etc. Lean across me, keeps close physical contact in someway. 

- This, is something of a concern.  She shows a lack of self respect and boundaries - hence setting other people off.  Not good 😕 .

Say, for example you two were involved and you walked in and saw her doing this to another guy .. and can you hear her saying 'Aww, please take no offence, he's just a friend'... Yah, no thanks! 

 

Maybe is best to remain as you are with her.  Don't test those waters!