Coming OUT

[chablis97]

Any advice, tips, stories on coming out? How did you go about it, when did you know it was the right time, how did others react? I am out to only one friend and thinking of telling the family, but unsure and not ready right now-involved with a fabulous woman, but only my 2nd lesbian relationship.

[Caldus]

Only you know when it is the right time for you. If you're ready then I say go for it.

 

EDIT: Sorry for the cliche answer but I think that's all the advice I can give.

[kaboom]

link removed

EXCELLENT WEBSITE!!!!

my story got lost in the sands of time, and i have a civil law exam tomorrow for which i havent even opened a book, so i can't type it now, but i promise tomorrow i'll be back and type it!

cheers!

[Cadence308]

Sounds like you've been spending too much time on the enotalone website, kaboom! That usually happens to all of us at one time or another. Better turn the computer off and get studying.

 

chablis, I don't really have any advice on coming out since, I, myself am still pretty closeted. When I meet a great woman that I want to be serious with then I'll worry about that. I have told 4 friends and they all have been great and said that they sort of already knew or had suspicions. Since you already have someone great, it's probably best to come out since you may have to worry about family gatherings and holidays. Hopefully someone else has better advice?

 

You could bring your gf to Thanksgiving dinner, not telling anyone, just bring her under the pretense of "just a friend." Then make a toast at dinner and say, "Surprise, I'm gay!"

[pizzachick13]

to my friends i just said it. they had realised a long time ago and they were all fine with it.

 

my siblings i just told one and then the rest were listening at my door so they found out.

 

my parents (this one i love ) i took a girl home and pashed her right in front of them... it was great.

 

my school, i told one friend and she blabbed... she thought i had a crush on her *OMG Ewwwww*

 

it isn't that bad coming out. just take a deep breath and say it... you're family will probably be fine with it. this is the age of reason and so they'll understand.

 

Good Luck!

 

Sappho

[kaboom]

Ok, i sat my exam, i got skrewed, and now i'm back!

My coming out process was very gradual, and we could say that after two years its not yet finished since my family doesnt (and wont) know. more about this later.

At age 15 I was in an international boarding school FAR away from home and I started to get very fed up with having to cover things up, having to shut up and having to watch every word i said in fear i would "slip". So I told my best friend at the time. He was russian, and a lot of russians are very into their "manhood" and how any behaviour which isnt that of a correct macho-man is deserving of hell. I trusted this guy with my life and i knew he wouldnt blab. He did have quite a hard time digesting it, but since he'd known me for a while and we were roommates everything went smoothly in the end.

Then for a long while I didnt tell anyone else in fear that the word would spread VERY rapidly, which would arguably make my life hell considering how small a boarding school community is. Next term (after summer) we went on a little field trip, where i told this girl to whom i was REALLY close at the time, and it turned out she was bi too, that was REALLY cool.

during that term me and a few of my friends used to do this really stupid thing which consisted of staying up ALL night in the middle of the week, just talking and smoking and watching movies and then go to class without having slept. In one of those i told four friends at once. They were all really shocked, but apparently they finally accepted it. they made the occasional joke but up to this stage i hadn't yet gotten heat from anyone at all.

I started telling select friends, and all of them took it VERY well, except this one girl who just couldnt understand it... well when you start telling people at school or work or sth like that, the world will start spreading at some point. In my case it didnt spread, it exploded... Apparently two friends which knew were talking about it in whispers in the middle of an english lesson. Apparently this one great BASTARD who i can't stand (and who couldnt stand me...) overheard and YELLED it in the middle of the lesson. In about 6 hours the whole school, including the teachers, knew.

Lots of people came asking if it was true, and i only got heat from a couple of russians, who came to my room and tried to "talk me" into being strait. Obviously, they failed miserably... I got the occasionally joke and stuff, but so long as u know how to handle them, then it doesnt matter.

After i finished highschool i came back to spain. Right now i'm fully out of the closet (while outside home) and i dont have to tell anyone. In fact i dont mind if people know or not. Most of them will guess from the coments i might make. I dont need to go around with a big sticker saying "yo people i am BI!" on my forehead. I just dont hide anything either. I've had no problems here either, aside from the occasional comment both from gays and straights. I guess u just live with it.

Now my folks aren't gonna know because they are VERY, VERY homophobic, and i dont feel like getting thrown out of my house before i finish college. this sound excessive, but that's just the way my parents are.

So basically no one's gonna give u tons of heat, no one's gonna single u out... Some people might be shocked, but in the end, everything's cool. Parents are usually A LOT more understanding than me... And don't worry, telling people gets easier EVERY TIME. plus u only have to do it a few times because believe me it WILL spread, its a fact of life.

Take ur time, dont push it if u think u're not ready, but believe me, its GREAT to be out of the closet.

I hope this didnt bore you!

Cheers!