Turned 40 and I'm rather depressed

[Silentlyfor]

Hi all.  The issue is on the tin.  Turned 40 a few weeks ago and now I'm depressed about it.  After thinking about it, for some reason, I just keep getting thoughts of being young again back to my late teens, my 20s, and my early 30s.  I want to feel joy and have the energy again to do the things I want to do but now I'm dragging my feet and it doesn't help that I haven't had any clients for a while.  It's gotten so bad I can't even get into my hobbies again; I lack that much energy. 

Not sure what to do from here.  

[Cherylyn]

Happy Belated Birthday! 

Try taking good care of your health for starters such as fitness, eat well, do what you enjoy and build a strong body, sound mind connection. 

I hope business picks up soon.

You'll have more energy and motivation if you take good care of your health first and foremost.  Since you have time, hobbies area great distraction. 

You have to start somewhere.  Don't think too hard about it.  Just do it. 

[Coily]

Op, I am venturing into that same realm my, and commiserate immensely. It’s as if everything is off kilter, your body and mind are weighed down by everything unexpectedly.

Unfortunately there’s a lot of flippantly helpful platitudes, but sometimes it just sucks hitting that stage of life.

So when I hit that moment, I plan on doing a few things just for me. I am planning on going to one of the best barbers near me for a good straight razor shave. I am going to have a quiet night out at a very nice restaurant. And then I am going on a road trip. Because I need to break from my rut.

To me it’s going to be about creating new memories. For me at least it constantly feels like the past lent itself to opportunities that I now lack due to routine and obligation. Sometimes you have to force yourself to have new experiences.

Best of luck, and if anything works, let me know!

 

[Cherylyn]

I didn't feel that great today so despite the chilly weather, I bundled up and went out for a one hour walk.  I felt so much better upon returning home and a hot shower never felt so good.  I started out feeling lousy and came back feeling energized and positive.  You ought to try it. 

Living a sedentary lifestyle makes you feel down mentally and physically.  Most people in the mainstream, scoff at exercise, eating healthy and don't treat the body and mind as if it matters.  Make changes and you will have a positive outlook for yourself and feel better as well. 

You have to force yourself to do it and then you'll be glad you did and got that out of the way.  No one will take care of you except you. 

Also, if you have local friends, surround yourself with healthy people who will give you moral support and help motivate you.  Having a good social life is important.  Don't isolate yourself because it's detrimental to your mental and physical well being.

[Sindy_0311]

Hi, lately I felt the same. Im almost 40, I used to be passionate by many things but since 2/3 months something is off, I no longer find any interest/energy for my hobbies. 

I read a book lately about an aging woman sharing how she felt tired and without energy and said it was normal at some point to feel different while getting older. >> We are changing and there’s nothing to be afraid about it. It’s just a transitional state. 

Just accept it and someday your energy will come back. I accepted it but I remain focused on my work, my health and my son. Hobbies and motivation can wait. 

Anyway, I suggest you stay careful: the moment you sense that you cannot operate in your daily life or that it becomes very difficult, go seek for help/therapy. You might have a little depression, don’t let it become worse. Take care. 

[Batya33]

Happy belated birthday -you've gotten good input here and I'm sorry you're feeling down.  I'm 56 and I find making myself do my daily cardio - I skip only if I am very sick which is very rare - or doctor's orders (had to take a day off after oral surgery) - energizes me even if I'm tired/unmotivated.  Been working out regularly since 1982 and switched to daily about 12 years ago because of my parenting responsibiltiies. 

I am on auto pilot -my workout clothes on my night stand, water bottle filled in the fridge, sneakers, jacket and bag for water bottle at the door.  No excuses.  Most often these days I use my building's fitness center/treadmill but when we were visiting our hometown last week I was outside in the neighorhood.Every  single time I feel better and energized.  Highly recommend it!

Also exercising motivates me to eat better.

For my 40th I went hiking in a gorgeous nature preserve with my future husband.  Amazing day.  

My energy is better than in my 20s and 30s I think for a few reasons - while parenting is exhausting at times (he is 13) and I was full time home with him the first 7 years, my prior full time career meant I made unhealthy choices - too much diet coke/caffeine, too much of the bad foods (which I still eat, just less and I eat more healthful foods on balance), and such a stressful, intense work environment (which, again, parenting can be but the reasons for being a parent and  the rewards make it so worth it!). 

Also -sounds so basic, but over the last 14 years- starting when I was pregnant my one and only time -I cut way back to almost no diet soda (that was more like 5-7 years ago) and I increased my daily water intake a lot.  That has made a huge difference in my energy levels -I mean - TMI but it helps speed up digestion, relaxes me, makes my skin feel and look better and you know feeling good about that is energizing too.  

Certainly I feel the muscle pains/soreness even more than in my 30s but I do daily stretching exercises -about 8-10 minutes a day -and that helps -also forces me to focus on proper breathing - that helps too.

Hope this is helpful!

[Silentlyfor]

Thanks for the advice, everyone!

Just letting you all know, I'm a guy but I think this is great advice all the same!

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, Silentlyfor said:

Thanks for the advice, everyone!

Just letting you all know, I'm a guy but I think this is great advice all the same!

My advice was gender-neutral.  I know you can't get pregnant lol.

[boltnrun]

40 year old men are uber hot.  Just saying...

I mean, Timothy Olyphant, Idris Elba, Robert Downey Jr., Christopher Meloni, Common, Benjamin Bratt...those men are getting better and better with age.

I am way happier now than I ever was in my teens and 20s.  I was awkward AF in my teens and a selfish brat in my 20s and early 30s.  I'm in my mid 50s now and feel so much better mentally and emotionally.  Even when I suffered from diagnosed extreme anxiety a couple of years ago I still didn't want to go back.

And I agree that getting outside and moving around helps tremendously.  I'm bummed because the weather sucks so bad I can't go for my after work walk.  It energizes me and makes me feel terrific.