From angel to danger?

[spinstermanquee]

On 2/11/2023 at 7:16 AM, Vordsophia said:

The fact that hurt me was that instead of owning up to his decision for breaking up with me, he instead tried to blame it on me and tried to call me weird and basically a psychopath.

Vordsophia, he was projecting his own pathology onto you.  And I agree with the others, I bet the "sister" is closer to "wife."

Back when we used to date from personal ads in newspapers, I had a guy that I called and a woman answered the phone.  His explanation?  "My sister."  Hmmm... alarm bells ringing!  I thought, "what is a 50-something-year-old dude doing living with his sister?"  Haha.  Yah for sure I did not date that one, threw it back in the pond.

Valuable lessons!  And therapy is always a good idea!  Finding the right therapist can be a little daunting, but when you do land on the right one it is a huge game changer!  Good luck my dear.

[MissCanuck]

2 hours ago, Vordsophia said:

I'm always being told how I look like a very good soul, that's not always good I suppose. Maybe they can read through me, sell me what I want to buy and then, boom, gone.

The truly manipulative will sense this, yes. 

They're the ones who will sometimes say the craziest of things ("I love you!" before meeting), and see who doesn't run in the opposite direction. The ones who are left are the easiest prey for them. 

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, Vordsophia said:

Thank you Batya33, you speak the truth and I'm really glad you were able to control your fears and did life YOUR way. Congratulations on your son and happy marriage. 

Btw, my mom never abused us. She is the kindness incarnate. So sweet. I am a mamas child essentially! But in all honesty, I have to lead my own way and find what I need and want. 

I wish you all the best. ♥️

Thanks!  Might be semantics but I never controlled my fears. At least not successfully.  I faced my fears. I reacted to my fears by choosing behaviors that furthered my overall goals. I still do so and have to do so. Parenting is not for the faint hearted lol. 
As much as possible don’t indulge in generalities. Be very specific even daily on how you will lead your own way that day or even that hour. Same with what you “need” and “want”.  Specificity is hard work. Often it’s humbling work because what you need may just be a want. 
 

[Vordsophia]

Guys thank you for all your insight. I truly appreciate it. I begin to accept he was just a lunatic and I easy prey. It made me feel better and yet also more responsible about my heart and soul. Learn from my mistakes, never let your guard down. Never surrender yourself too early. Always protect yourself. Don't jump into conclusions. Make them earn your trust!!! 

And just as great Amy once said: Love is a losing game.

Thank you all for hearing me and wish you all happiness 💕

[boltnrun]

Love doesn't have to be a losing game if you just trust your instincts and are careful about who you choose to attach yourself to. This guy gave you all the evidence you needed before you ever even met him, but in your haste to find a boyfriend you chose to ignore it.

I'm sure you want the right man, not just any man.