First meet tonight, should I go?

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Turns out he re-engaged the conversation yesterday to where we left it. We have been explaining each other over text and we decided to see each other again in the evening. We ended up to my house talking and cuddling for a while. I noticed him being cautious and not trying to push things to fast. Later that evening, after we fell asleep on the sofa for an hour I made the move and we did it. He has been very respectful, putting protection and trying to please me as well. The test drive has been ok for my part. Then at 3am he left. 

So you essentially agreed to his plan - but sort of on your terms - so you could initiate sex with someone you invited into your home - and you feel ok about how his penis fits inside of you. And you feel ok that while you agreed to an in home date  he didn’t initiate intercourse.  

[Sindy_0311]

33 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

So you essentially agreed to his plan - but sort of on your terms - so you could initiate sex with someone you invited into your home - and you feel ok about how his penis fits inside of you. And you feel ok that while you agreed to an in home date  he didn’t initiate intercourse.  

Yes, to some extend. Sounds critical coming from you 😅

[Batya33]

11 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Yes, to some extend. Sounds critical coming from you 😅

Maybe because I simply distilled the facts. I found your description of your intercourse expectations of your second date or so  kind of clinical. But again it’s typing. So we both might be reading into it. I found your description of your date kind of low on feelings and emotions which is not critical at all.
I’ve read and heard descriptions like that fairly often when the people involved don’t know each other well and have a particular focus on sexual technique/fit as you seem to. 

[Sindy_0311]

29 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Maybe because I simply distilled the facts. I found your description of your intercourse expectations of your second date or so  kind of clinical. But again it’s typing. So we both might be reading into it. I found your description of your date kind of low on feelings and emotions which is not critical at all.
I’ve read and heard descriptions like that fairly often when the people involved don’t know each other well and have a particular focus on sexual technique/fit as you seem to. 

Maybe it sounded clinical because I was just making an update of the situation. Of course there was more than just the test drive, but this is not the aspect I needed to figure out here. We do have good conversations, we tease each other and laugh together, it’s all ok on that level. So for now I will let the diva aside and let it flow. We will see… 

[Jaunty]

On 2/18/2023 at 7:43 AM, Sindy_0311 said:

The players are the ones pretending to look for something serious, go on dates, hang out with you even if they know there is no potential for something but don't say it. 

I understand the concept.  These boards are full of people who think that if they date someone a while and then the person pulls the plug, that they were "played."  Especially if sex happened.  Could be the case, there certainly are "players."  But there are also normal people who come to a point where they realize that the person they are dating is not someone they want to continue seeing.   And then they move on.  It's normal.

[Jaunty]

You said at least 3 times that you did not "like him enough" to keep going forward.  Then you changed your mind.  I believe this change happened because in the course of your "explaining" yourselves to each other, you got the impression that you had the power / control back in your own court and you could initiate sex with this basic stranger (who you didn't like much).  So, that's what you did.

Let's see how it goes if / when he behaves in some way that is not in line with your script.  Even if the outcome is the same. 

Because, face it:  if he just wanted to have sex with you because you were obviously available, that was accomplished.  If he's a "player" he did a good job backing off and letting you think that he was conforming to your plan, rather than him having a plan of his own.

For the record, I don't think this guy is a player.  I think he's what most women would describe as "not relationship material" but - like somebody around here says a lot, there's a lid for every pot, a chair for every butt, a P for every V (most pertinent for your case 😆) etc.

[Sindy_0311]

Hey everyone, just a little update… as you know we had sex on 3rd date, it was ok, he kept on texting the following days but not as much as before. And kind of boring. So I decided to leave it to that point as my interest fell down. Some of you were right about him not being a good match to begin with. I’m moving on as I have another target on my sight. This one is a big deal 😉

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Hey everyone, just a little update… as you know we had sex on 3rd date, it was ok, he kept on texting the following days but not as much as before. And kind of boring. So I decided to leave it to that point as my interest fell down. Some of you were right about him not being a good match to begin with. I’m moving on as I have another target on my sight. This one is a big deal 😉

Enjoy your new dating interest!