Why is he messing with my feelings?

[hbomnb27]

My friend started flirting with me (he initiated "accidental" touch too often, made puppy dog eyes, complimented, stared at me, tried to get me to go with him after school) and at some point I reciprocated because I started to like him. Overall, however, I was withdrawn and rarely initiated conversation. Then he began flirting with my friend in my presence and suddenly became mean towards me (telling me that I was X or Y - some mean remarks regarding my personality, small lies about obvious things, he said, for example, that he would appear somewhere and then did not come or vice versa, sometimes he also looked at me with hostility and then I wondered what I had done.) He suggested a meeting and I agreed, I just wrote a short 'yes' but I didn't continue the topic because I thought he would suggest a date or a place but it didn't happen in the end. Later he continued to flirt, he remembered what I was saying and mentioned it later in conversations so I was positively surprised.

He once told me to strengthen my relationship with one of my acquaintances. From that moment on I became more confused but I'd been confused by him the whole time because he, too, rarely spoke, then avoided looking at me and I had doubts whether he was interested at all. It wasn't until I pulled away that he started to acknowledge me more. Before that, one time he said I never liked him. Every time I ignore him, he tries to draw attention to himself, hangs around or stares. When we didn't talk for a long time (I pulled away from him), he made some insinuations that I supposedly underestimated him, that I didn't know what I was missing and that "I shouldn't be trusted". Finally I asked via text if he wanted to go out with me because I was fed up with this emotional swing, and he also said a short 'yes' but didn't continue or mention it later. When I asked irl, he interrupted me by talking about something else and laughed, he continued to flirt. He still looks at me sometimes from the corner of his eyes or says hello but the next day he hides or avoids me. Is he trying to get revenge on me in some way or was he just pretending from the beginning and was just making fun of me?

For me this whole situation is messed up. I have read a lot about narcissism and when I look at myself now I think that he has found a victim in me so that I can worship him and be his "fuel" and only for that. He bragged a lot. His behavior is certainly abnormal but I'm not sure if I'm not going too far with this interpretation, possibly he is just immature and has no communication skills or he does not know what he wants. We are both very young. I just wonder if I was at fault by showing him too little interest (I started conversation myself maybe only twice because I was insecure and wanted to play it cool). Or maybe he expects me to keep running after him, begging, and he's not as interested as I thought, especially since he's attractive. I am stuck and I don't know how to react to him now. I feel that in fact he is a coward because he could not answer like a decent human being when I asked him out. Does he want to torment me mentally?

I don't want to run after a guy who probably doesn't give a damn but he keeps provoking me and keeps me wondering what he means. Should I test the waters and talk to him a few more times and then he may clarify what he wants? I also thought that maybe he is afraid of me to some extent. I just don't understand what all this sick game and manipulation are for. In my head I keep trying to justify that he's nervous because I'm having trouble accepting that perhaps I was cruelly strung along.. Or did I read too much into it? I don't like when he still positions himself around me or stares, I wish he would just leave me alone forever.

[Wiseman2]

21 minutes ago, hbomnb27 said:

 I wish he would just leave me alone forever.

Tell a teacher, parent or trusted adult about what is going on. Avoid him and tell him not to touch you and to leave you alone.

[Jaunty]

How old are you both?

It really sounds to me like the way it sometimes goes when kids are starting to get interested in each other but nobody knows how it's supposed to go or what to do.  

Basically, the two of you are playing games and nobody's making a real move except you, when you asked him if he wanted to go out. That was brave and a good idea, but it didn't really get any results.

Sounds like this whole thing is going nowhere.  Just move on and stop thinking about him and definitely stop cataloging all the things he says and does in your head.  Just let it go.  If you're not fixating on him you won't notice if he's "provoking" you or anything else.

I doubt he's a narcissist.  He just sounds like an immature guy who doesn't know what he's doing but wants you to think that he does.

[Batya33]

It takes two. Why are you letting him treat you with such disrespect?

[smackie9]

There's no mystery here. He's just an immature guy. Boys are usually 5 years behind us in maturity. His behaviour sounds more like insecurity and he doesn't know how to navigate through the process properly. What you see is what you get...a dork. I know you have taken a shine to him but there is better out there. Just ignore what he does and carry on.

[jul-els]

It’s important for you to remember that no one ever does anything to you that you don’t allow them to do. You like him, but he’s not a good guy for you. Communication between the two of you is poor. You would be best served to forget about him and find a better match.