I'm 56 and feel like a financial failure this late in life.

[Willowgirl55]

43 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Start by speaking honestly to him about finances. He has offered to pay the bills so allow that. You could also raise his rent to a more appropriate income-proportionate level. If he talks about his retirement account calling it "ours", that is actually not true.

You are not entitled to that or his social security, as you would be if you were married. You can easily check with the SSA to see where you stand. You can also talk to a banker about setting up a retirement account.

Is he divorced? Widowed? Does he have children? Are you divorce/widowed/have children? Do either of you have your wills set up?

This would allow you to save more money for your own future. While you have an asset in the house, you still need something to live on. Talk to him. Be honest about your financial concerns, needed repairs, etc. There's no reason he should make many more times what you do, live cheaply in your house and save while you struggle to get by.

Thank you. You certainly do have valid points. We will be having a discussion this week as I've been looking for full time work and have been letting him know it's what I need to do. I don't see the point in talking with an advisor now as I have nothing saved so I have nothing to work with. He seems interested in me pursuing full time work again . 

[boltnrun]

You don't necessarily have to go back into customer service. The job I have currently is only slightly related to what I have done previously. The recruiter saw my resume on Indeed and contacted me. I had a 30 minute phone call with three company representatives. Apparently they liked what I said so they chose me. And a year and a few months later they offered me a direct hire position. I proved to be a reliable and dependable employee who performed the job accurately and in a timely manner. I am now making more money than I ever did before. And the company has great benefits.

Hopefully you will find something you can at least not absolutely hate. And maybe even find something you truly enjoy. And that offers good benefits. High pay means little if you have to pay full price for your benefits.

[Batya33]

10 minutes ago, Willowgirl55 said:

He seems interested in me pursuing full time work again . 

Why does his interest level matter -is he going to help you find full time work - send out your resume/network on your behalf/ drive you to interviews, etc?

[Willowgirl55]

4 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Why does his interest level matter -is he going to help you find full time work - send out your resume/network on your behalf/ drive you to interviews, etc?

He wants me to find something that makes me happy. He remembers how stressed I was at my last job. That's all. 

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, Willowgirl55 said:

He wants me to find something that makes me happy. He remembers how stressed I was at my last job. That's all. 

Oh I read that wrong -I thought you meant you care that he is interested in you working full time as opposed to part time.

[mylolita]

On 8/1/2022 at 12:41 PM, Willowgirl55 said:

Yes...you understand. Not every has the luxury of a retirement fund. I have my home and that's all I have. 

I've advertised care services ony own through Craiglist and have only received responses from very lonely men looking for massages. It's discouraging. Going to try working for another agency as theres nothing stopping me from working for another agency . Thank you !

It’s okay Willow! You’re welcome!

 

Just hang in there. Try to remember how far you have come and what you do have. Your motivated and trying, you do have a job in this turbulent weird time at least and you have your house. Everything is okay. If you want to spruce things up, you’re trying and that’s onto the right track as far as I can see!

 

x

[mylolita]

23 hours ago, Willowgirl55 said:

He wants me to find something that makes me happy. He remembers how stressed I was at my last job. That's all. 

This guy sounds like a true keeper. I think you are very lucky!

 

We only have one life. Doing something you really enjoy is a bigger luxury than lots of money, because you can’t buy that time back, and God knows people spend enough of their time at work!

 

x