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Everything posted by Willowgirl55

  1. Yes that makes sense. I do expect an email when things come around for her and she feels mentally better. It truly was my fault. I should have NEVER confided in her knowing that she wasn't mentally stable. I have learned a valuable lesson from this. All the advise given here has really helped and has opened my eyes to my own behavior. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!!! Thank you!
  2. This lady was not a client that I was given through my agency. She was a lady that I happen to make friends with on my own right before I got my job at the agency. She asked me if I new someone that could help her with a few things and I agreed that I would. She was not through an agency. For the record the lady I DID have through the agency I NEVER crossed the line with. She knew nothing about me personally as I did follow the agency's rules.
  3. Oh dear. There is no reason for him to keep her number. I have much experience in this as I have been through this more than once with more than one man. I am hear to talk if you want you can message me. Out of respect for you her number shouldn't exist in his phone if he is truly DONE with her. So sorry.
  4. Thank you. No benefits. I am finding that most of these small little home care agencies don't offer benefits due to the fact they don't have enough employees to make it affordable. And you are right. There is no perfect job. I think I will just keep doing what I am doing and see if I can just take on more clients.
  5. Right....yeah I wonder if getting into this career was a mistake because I really enjoy the company of seniors and maybe lacking friendship myself this could be not a good thing. I have no parents as they passed on a long time ago and have very splintered family. But you are right. I do need to protect myself in making sure I don't cross any boundaries in this profession. Trying to make friends outside of work is hard. I never had success in that at all. I'm some kind of weird creature that people are unsure about. It is what it is. But I am calling several contacts that were given to me by my health insurance for counseling so I am really hoping I can get therapy of some sort. Thank you
  6. Yes I am seeking a change for sure. Yes I made a mistake in making the one client into a friend. Need to make sure that wont happen again. Thank you.
  7. I have issues maintaining friendships. I currently work as a Caregiver as I have been wanting to find work that actually serves a real purpose. Many years of trudging behind a corporate desk faking it because of the pay checks. SO I have opted to be a caregiver. Its the most rewarding job I have ever had. I enjoy giving to people and if I can make the smile even better! Its been a year since I have started this career move. I made my first client on my own and had another client through an agency. My first client was a wonderful little woman who is very smart and sharp and suffered from being bipolar so she had her ups and downs. She also suffered from some undiagnosed ailment that prevented her from standing for very long, so she could not maintain her apartment nor her cat. So I agreed to help her once a week and she paid me. While I was helping her I also was taking care of my other client three days a week with the agency. Well first client started getting therapy and standing on her own well enough to manage her apartment and her kitty and told me she cannot afford to pay me to keep coming every week. She still expected me to come by though and I said its ok and still managed to visit her once in awhile as we sort of became friends. I would still come by to visit and talk with her and take her places (she couldn't drive). Well I started having challenges with my second client and needed someone to talk to about it. I don't have friends. I have my boyfriend and my clients and that is it. My Half brother and half sister cut our ties years ago as we never did get along. I started to confide in my first client/friend and she told me that she is happy to be an ear if I needed one. Caregiving is very rough some times. And I feel so alone in the job that I do when I have no one that could possibly understand. So I would talk to my first client about things and concerns that I had about my life. Recently worried that I need to find more work and was debating on going back into the office environment because I was not making enough money to pay all my bills with caregiving. I confided with first client friend about trying to find another job and if I even should. She all of a sudden responds with with " YOU DON'T GIVE A F*** ABOUT ANYONE" and proceeds to bring up things that I came to her about stating that she is sick and tired of all of my inconsequential CRAP and that she is DONE WITH ME. I was stunned and started to cry. I went back and forth in my head about the things that I discussed with her in asking for her opinion. At first I thought this was an April Fools joke via email. But nope it was not. She was DONE with me and made that very clear. It upset me. And I am trying to reevaluate myself and how I treat people. Maybe I over extended my friendship with her in thinking I could confide in her with my problems. I don't know. I don't understand. We would go out to lunch and have such a nice time together. Or I would just sit in her apartment talking about her issues and I would listen and try to help if I could. I have to say that I had the same issue with my half sister over 5 years ago in which I would confide in her and she basically told me the same. She was done with listening to my problems (I was in a bad relationship with an alcoholic at the time and making bad choices). I thought I could trust her in being a little supportive. Apparently I robbed her of so much time in listening to my issues in life. So that ended that relationship and we haven't talked since. Am I a bad person I keep asking myself. What am I doing wrong. I keep alot of things inside and don't like to bother people but sometimes I get overwhelmed and need someone to talk to things about. And when I do, this is what happens. I am seeking counseling (as soon as one calls me back)as I truly feel I have no one to talk to in life. My partner is wonderful to me but he doesn't really understand how I feel. And when I talk I feel like alot of times he doesn't really listen as I end up repeating myself usually later or the next day with "remember what I told you". I try to give to people...sometimes I give more than I should. It takes alot for me to reach out to people and I have to feel that I can trust them and at least establish a good relationship. I've failed miserably with this. I am hoping that counseling helps me to sort through myself to see what I am doing wrong. Thanks for being here.
  8. Yup...I'm 55. And I do not have a "career' per say. My parents never guided me towards college or any kind of profession. So I have just taken on various jobs throughout my life in order to pay my bills. Never could afford real college as I went to the local community college for 1.5 years and stopped because I could no longer afford it. My partner has a career as a mechanical engineer. He has been at his current employer for over 10 years now and has always held pretty much the same position in other companies he has worked for. He makes a great salary, one that I know I will never make of course. Since we have been together (5 years) I have switched jobs countless times for a couple reasons. When he met me I was making good money and supporting myself and paying my mortgage. That job became so stressful I had to quit. My work load increased and cause me to have panic attacks on a regular basis. So that ended that. I found another job within two weeks and worked there for 3 years. It also paid well but I was not happy with the work I was doing. The company was a small family owned business that OVER OVER charged their customers INCREDIBLY for their services. I hated myself while I was there as I felt so horrible about the work I was doing. I was helping this company to rake money out of peoples pockets for simple repair services they could have had done for HALF and it wasn't right. Their technicians were so horrible and irresponsible with the work they did I couldn't continue working for them. So I quit. I needed to find a job that ENRICHED the lives of others and also made me feel good about what I was doing. Something that I truly believed in. SO I decided to get into caregiving services. I started working for this agency a year ago now and although I love what I do, the agency is HORRIBLE to their clients and their employees. The pay is horrendous and they provided literally NO training. No one to call for support if you need help with a client. The first client they set me up with was a woman with severe depression and mood swings (which they failed to tell me about in her assessment). However over the past year we have bonded and we really truly enjoy each other and I have learned to deal with her issues and try to help her through them. Well just last week she was admitted to the ER for cellulitis and I am now being told she will be placed in assisted living so this will be the end us. I was the only one who cared for her over the past year as her sister is older and worse off than she is. Her nephew comes by once a week to grab her bills and write her checks out and that is it. Not the nicest family I have to say and they seem quite uncaring regarding her. Anyway. Here we are. She is no longer under my care and I worry about her. Now I am struggling with whether I want to stick with this agency and take on more clients or move on to something else. Talking to my partner he is supportive. He tells me to not worry and that I will find something else. How many times has he had to tell me that over the past 5 years though. I feel stupid. So I am left questioning myself and why I can't seem to find my "niche" in life. I have never known what it means to NOT work for a living and have always had at least one full time job in addition to part time work. I expect for anyone to pay my bills never have. I'm 55 and I don't know where to go from here. I feel stuck.
  9. Ugghhh I really need to proofread my posts first..so many mistakes..how do I edit please? Thank you!
  10. WOW thank you all for our responses I was not expecting all of these! There are some very valid points made here especially the BOUNDARIES issue! and yes the idea of suggesting property manager I think is a good idea. She is also going to be coming back in the spring (depending on Covid) to stay back in the house for a couple weeks so it might be an opportunity to suggest an alternative to me me being her property manager. She manages to get a few hours with me before she goes back to Mexico for the rest of the year so we will have a chat about things I am sure. Thank you for the MEET UP idea! I will look into that!!!!!!
  11. Exactly. How sad. This seems to be my life story. Its so hard making friends in your 50's. Although I am perfectly happy in my own house with my life partner it just saddens me sometimes. I just always double check myself to make sure I am not out of line or over reacting and maybe I am missing something.. Thank you so much for your response!!
  12. I am a caregiver professionally- so I live my life helping others. I have always thought that is our duty in life. However I feel like some people take advantage of it. Has anyone else ever had a life of being used by both family and friends? I cut ties with my half sister and half brother as over the years they have both managed to take advantage of my good nature and letting myself be put in very precarious situations with them. Now later in life (55 years) I am still finding that people take advantage of me. I don't hear from anyone unless they have a favor to ask. For example. I have a neighbor friend that is in her 60's that has moved out of state and now rents her house out. She has asked me if I could help the tenant with things if she should need anything SMALL. First time was to help her work the stove as she couldn't remember how to work the stove in the house (owners stove she left behind) so I helped her with that. Now I don't hear from my neighbor/friend at all since she has moved away. She doesn't call to say hi or to ask how I am doing or to chat at all. HOWEVER she does call to ask me favors and I can't help but to feel disappointed. She called me a couple weeks ago to ask if I could pick up her prescription and hold on to it until she comes back to the city from Mexico. Each time she calls I always hope she is calling just to chat but its never the case. Now she has called me again yesterday asking if I can go over to the house and help her tenant with the front door lock that is preventing the front door to close properly. I didn't respond right away like I usually do. I waited a few hours and responded back with a message that we were not at home and probably wouldn't be back in a reasonable time to assist with the door (my partner and I were out for the day hiking) and asked her to perhaps ask the OTHER NEIGHBORS HUSBAND to see if he could possibly be of assistance? I don't recall us having any agreement that I would be a "handy" person for her tenant. She doesn't pay me anything at all and just assumes I can pop over and help out. During the transition of her new tenant moving in she had asked me to keep an eye on her cats (she didn't take them with her) and to make sure they are fed and watered and so on during the tenants movie in- so I did. I went over there ever day and did so until the tenant was all settled in which took WEELS. I reveiced not a thanks. Perhaps I am wrong in calling her a "friend"? We have had many great times together (we like hiking and kayaking together when she still lived here) so I assumed we were friends but maybe we are just neighbors. I can't help but to feel that she is a little out of line by expecting me to keep assisting with her tenants issues. Yes they are small but I am a little offended by calling only to ask to help. Whats going on here? What am I not seeing? I said no this time but an questioning myself about it sometimes.
  13. Oh dear...you will NEVER come first over his x. I lived this life for 10 years with a man who still loved his x. Please please do yourself a favor and detach yourself from it all. Please...you owe it to yourself to pull away. It will only get worse. There are too many people in your relationship. I'm free to chat !
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