Open Discussion - Online Dating & Apps

[Jibralta]

On 1/22/2022 at 7:07 AM, Carnatic said:

I always hated standing out. I know I'm not like utterly hideous but I'm a bit of a weird looking, weird acting, weird speaking person and I often get the feeling from my friends that they pity me and want to boost my ego, but I also have a real love/hate relationship with self-worth, I want it but it makes me cringe.

I get it. I've felt that way before. And other people I've known have felt that way.

[WildPump]

In my opinion dating sites can help you in many ways like to get a date or one night stand or just friends or casual sex partners or something anonymous ( I hope you know what I mean) and if you are lucky enough then a life partner. How you approach matters a lot. Mostly people see profile pic first before they get to know you. Many a websites or apps have list of questions before you get registered and damn useless, they can rate your profile to worse. I can say from the experience, there is one site which after answering so many questions it turned out that I am an introvert kind of person doesn't like talking and mingle, then one lady approached me and when we started talking, well as per her feedback I am not introvert at all. So you never know what could the problem. Dating sites are way of meeting strangers out of your friend circle or professionl life or family. I mean if you are not open minded or adaptive, then you will only have problems. I hope this will help. 😏 

[Jibralta]

3 hours ago, WildPump said:

I can say from the experience, there is one site which after answering so many questions it turned out that I am an introvert kind of person doesn't like talking and mingle, then one lady approached me and when we started talking, well as per her feedback I am not introvert at all.

I had a similar experience with the quizzes on OKCupid. This was 10+ years ago, so I don't know what's going on anymore. But back in the day, the quizzes on OKCupid were plentiful and questionable. Just because they say it's a personality test doesn't mean it's accurate! I matched with a guy who's 'personality test' said he was 'more ethical.' Well, this guy was completely unethical. A real serious dirtbag. 

You always have to take that stuff with a grain of salt and be unafraid to do your own 'psychiatric evaluation' of your dates. The more you think for yourself, the better off you'll be.

[mical]

I think dating apps can be fine, of course it’s better to meet someone in person or perhaps through an activity you enjoy so you can find someone with similar interests.

But otherwise I figured a way to setup the app on autopilot where I don’t put any effort swiping and messaging.

I wrote the qualities I’m looking for and have that upgraded version where you see who likes you. So if I DO swipe it’s on those that already liked me (saves time).

So…

Besides that one day when I made a funny experiment and wrote “Sorry ladies no ONS with this sexy guy!!”  I instead put in my bio what I am looking for..

“Are you beautiful, kind, honest, happy and easygoing?

I love to laugh and have fun. I’m very strong, open-minded, positive, and confident.

I love to travel and see the world. Rome, Costa del Sol, French Riviera, Alps.

Health and fitness are also important to me.“

Usually I don’t respond when they  write “Hey” or some emoji like 👋  well I did this morning with just my WhatsApp and a wink face, she added me, but the conv. wasn’t very interesting I guess, maybe just sends that emoji to every guy, who knows?  🤷‍♂️ 

Again, it’s just about filtering for high interest. 

The only thing is I find nowadays seems they just want to have “fun” 😢

PS - if u like my bio PM me 😉 lol kinda joking 🤣🤣🤣

 

[Batya33]

14 minutes ago, mical said:

of course it’s better to meet someone in person or perhaps through an activity you enjoy so you can find someone with similar interests.

My friend met his spouse through craigslist because they had a mutual interest in cycling.  They met as cycling partners.  To me meeting in person is much better than online dating - but that's for people who try to date online instead of meeting in person ASAP.  Then it's basically the same -the site is just a way to make first contact. 

[mical]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

My friend met his spouse through craigslist because they had a mutual interest in cycling.  They met as cycling partners.  To me meeting in person is much better than online dating 

That’s really nice 🙂 My friend met her partner through dance classes. Seems much more romantic and interesting than an app.  

 

[Batya33]

55 minutes ago, mical said:

That’s really nice 🙂 My friend met her partner through dance classes. Seems much more romantic and interesting than an app.  

 

My  goal was to find a husband and hopefully get to try for a baby.  I didn't care whether it seemed romantic -how we met, etc.  (as it turned out it was very much so).  I didn't care if it was interesting either.  I cared whether we had passion and chemistry and love and commitment.  That to me was incredibly romantic and interesting and exciting -not how exactly we met. 

My friends who met as cycling partners who I mentioned above met initially through a website.  My other friend married her salsa dancing instructor and they met in person. 

My mom met my dad at a Sweet Sixteen party where he asked her for her father's last name so he could look up her phone number in the telephone book.  My other friend met her spouse because her mother told her to stop looking at the ground when she walked as she was missing out on men checking her out.  So she stopped.  Then a man across the street in a large city waved to her.  She crossed the street.  They've been married 20 years or more.

I originally met my husband on his first day of work when I crossed a crowded room to say hi and welcome him. I met him again years later for romance part two because we thought it would be good to just meet for a quick catch up dinner.  

 I have several friends who met their SO/spouses through dating sites.  I cannot imagine any of them thinking it would have been "better" to meet first in person because they are married, have children - some of whom are in college now -

I mean sure a person can choose to limit his or her dating pool with dealbreakers like "I'll never go on a dating app" or "I'll never go to a singles resort/singles dance/meetup" - there is nothing wrong with being selective even if it's because the person wants to have a specific kind of how we met story.  But I'm responding to a person who seems very motivated to meet people for a potential relationship so I am really reluctant to close off options based on a how we met story.