My best friend is upset over a situation she put herself in. What should I do?

[DancingFool]

14 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I bet at least half the people who have pools swim in them nude.  Why wouldn't you?

No one is going to think you two are deviant perverts lol. Except this so-called "friend's" boyfriend, who obviously is feeling some sort of way about you two having a pool and he doesn't.

lol...probably more than half. Quite a few states have laws making it explicitly legal for people to be nude in their own backyard provided they have a privacy fence.

My point is that it's not weird or uncommon by far, when you have laws passed to protect people doing it. So, I wouldn't worry about what your friend claims or says. She might find her audience rather slim on agreement. It's one of those things that many people indulge in but don't advertise. Also, I'd rethink this friendship. It seems that her underlying jealousy of your life is turning things toxic between you and she is becoming more of a frenemy than a friend. Might be time to let this friendship die off.

You may have been friends for many years, but it seems that your paths are diverging at this point.

[Morgan01]

10 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

I'm still having a hard time understanding how a "best friend" has all these qualities - jealous, antagonistic, dramatic towards you in a negative way, lack of trust between the both of you. Perhaps it's time to distance yourself a bit and let this blow over. Rethink whether she's such a friend at all and whether you've had blinders on for awhile. Real friends will be happy for you, celebrate your joys and milestones with you and support you when you're down. 

Take it easy and enjoy your yard/pool!

Aww, thank you! I totally agree. 

[Morgan01]

12 hours ago, boltnrun said:

She did firmly instruct her friend to text when she was on the way. Twice. So it wasn't an invitation to "spontaneously" come over. Her friend disregarded her specific instructions/request. 

This is 100% correct. My friend failed to do what she was told. @Wiseman2 I don't think I'm in the wrong for informing my friend that we were naked and would like our privacy respected along with overall respecting them. We don't want unannounced visits from anyone.

[Morgan01]

9 hours ago, DancingFool said:

lol...probably more than half. Quite a few states have laws making it explicitly legal for people to be nude in their own backyard provided they have a privacy fence.

My point is that it's not weird or uncommon by far, when you have laws passed to protect people doing it. So, I wouldn't worry about what your friend claims or says. She might find her audience rather slim on agreement. It's one of those things that many people indulge in but don't advertise. Also, I'd rethink this friendship. It seems that her underlying jealousy of your life is turning things toxic between you and she is becoming more of a frenemy than a friend. Might be time to let this friendship die off.

You may have been friends for many years, but it seems that your paths are diverging at this point.

I love this, thank you for that.

[Tanzi]

On 6/25/2021 at 3:13 AM, Morgan01 said:

Our concern is she will tell a totally different story because she's influenced by this wonderful guy she is with. She's never been this way, but has gotten more and more defensive and has followed the men's lead in her life. I also want to have privacy, I don't need people knowing we are running around naked in our back yard, because I don't want to draw unnecessary attention. I don't need lurkers or creepers, not that I foresee that happening, but it's something that came to my mind. Our backyard is private for the most part, but there is a little room for error. I don't anticipate wearing clothing in our backyard anytime soon, so that's why it's a minor worry, especially in the moment. 

Even if it did get out that the pair of you were naked, I don't think anyone will think anything of it.  It is your home and you can do what the heck you like in it.

I don't think they will say anything because the texts between the two of you are are evident that she is in the wrong.  Chances are, they will come across as the weirdos.  Not only did she not let you know they were on their way over (as you quite clearly asked) but they let themselves in unexpectedly.  She knows she made a mistake, she is just siding with her boyfriend because she is under his spell.