What qualifies as cheating?

[amarynd17]

My husband started spending a lot of time with his best buddy's wife. I asked him to stop. He didn't. We argued, he still insisted on seeing her socially, both alone and in group situations. They behave with casual intimacy and physical familiarity. He says I am overreacting. I say if they touch, hug, kiss, share cigarettes, and rough-house together, and it hurts and upsets me, their relationship is inappropriate. Am I right or wrong?

[overcorrect]

"I say if they touch, hug, kiss, share cigarettes, and rough-house together, and it hurts and upsets me, their relationship is inappropriate. Am I right or wrong?"

 

You are right!!!!! Nix that crap in the butt right now. Confront that woman with her husband there too. If your husband throws a fit you need to kick him out of the house.

[axe03]

go hook up with her husband,or some other guy.see then how your jerk off husbands likes that?unless you have cheated on him in the past?then you deserve it.but if not,kick that fool to the curb.

[SayinWhatUWont]

Hey amarynad17....

 

IMO cheating is anything (and i do mean anything) that you would not want your partner to do, say, touch, smell.........................ANYTHING

 

Though I am a female, I have always had male friends mainly. I keep a smile on my face listening and watching the BS they dish out and receive from their women. And when it's all said and done I ask. If your daughter, sister, or mother told you that some guy did the exact same to them, how would you feel?? 80% of the time I get some dry azz answer, but I see and feel that they know they are wrong.........

 

Follow axe03's advise and get ready for more drama in ya life...

(Sorry axe03 )

go hook up with her husband,or some other guy.see then how your jerk off husbands likes that?unless you have cheated on him in the past?then you deserve it.but if not,kick that fool to the curb.

 

im a musican from southern calif,these opinions and theroys i have about women and their actions are from past expieriences that i have had with them.

Reacting on emotions is not good........ Give him an ultimatium and STICK WITH IT. Just don't present it until you are sure you will be able to either forgive and forget or tell him to GET HIS SHIT AND MOVE IN WITH THEM.

 

Bringing her husband into it is not advised but encouraged if the circumstances permit......

 

Good Luck and Stay strong.....show weakness and he will continue to step all over you......

[crookster_man]

It's really simple, do you feel what he is doing is wrong? Yes? Then it is wrong for you. Doesn't that make you controlling? NO. everyone has the right to expect certain things from a relationship. These are the boundaries that allow for the foundation of a relationship. If you expectations are not self destructive then they are sound. Some people might find them pushy or controlling, that's fine. All that means is that your expatiations are to much for them. They are not compatible with you.

 

Should you have to change your expectations? Sure, but make sure they do not violate your core values. If you feel like you're not being true to yourself or that you are compromising to much then you probably are. How about you listen to that little voice inside you.

 

If he really respect you and wants to be with you. Then he will work with you to repair and rebuild. There was a reason he went to another woman for emotional support beyond friendship. You both need to work on things in your relationship...

 

However first you need to confront him and CALMLY explain your situation. Allow him to understand why his actions hurt you. If he respects you, he will understand. Is this a deal breaker? Can you handle a relationship where he ignores this problem? If not then get out of it. You owe it to yourself to find you OWN HAPPYNESS. You are not happy right now, that is obvious.

 

My advise is to goto a marriage counselor, you guys are on the verge or falling apart - if it's not to late already. One last thing, if he cheated on you, say goodbye. Never compromise your self worth. No one has that right, if they disrespect you that much - then it's there loss.

[blueyed99]

First things first: you are NOT overreacting. Quite the contrary. If it were me, I'd be absolutely LIVID. Your husband should care about how you feel and at the very least, should be respecting your wishes, even if he accuses you of acting crazy and irrational or whatever {not that he would -just in case he blames you - claims you're wayy overreacting and/or jealous or whatever. Easier to have a scapegoat, ya know?} You're not being overemotional or jealous or reactive in any way, shape, and form.

Trust me. Trust all of the others that have replied to your post as well.

 

That being said, it is obvious that your husband is disrespecting YOU, your feelings, and, in addition, he is choosing to carry out this inappropriate behavior knowing darn well how much it bothers you. He doesn't even think to concern himself with the fact that whatever he may think or feel about your request, he is going against the wishes of his WIFE? You are HIS WIFE which means = you COME FIRST.

 

I don't know why your husband would opt to rattle the cage and cause possible arguments and tension within his marriage unless he felt something important was being compromised, meaning, he would be losing something of value, something important to him, something or someone he wanted to protect? For his own needs? He obviously isn't planning on giving in or even compromising having a close one on one friendship with this gal - even if YOU ask him to, that is, without a fight. I wonder why. What is he getting from her that he can't get from you?

why is going outside of his marriage for female companionship? Is she meeting some sort of emotional need?

 

My perspective? he shouldn't be engaging in any close personal relationships with any member of the opposite sex {unless its his mother or relative} - especially if the relationship bothers you in any way. He needs a reality check!