Controlling or not?

[Dudsboy]

Hi everyone, I'm struggling with a tough situation and I'm not sure if I'm acting controlling or being reasonable.

I have been in a relationship for around a year now but am stuck on this issues. A couple of years ago i slept with a co-worker, who then went on to say i had raped her months later, telling all the new co-workers when they started that i was a horrible person etc. She was later confronted at admitted that she lied (Also, luckily everyone at work knows what she is like so nobody believed her or treated me any differently). 

However, the issues i have is that my current girlfriend is friends with all of the girl who accused me friends. I asked her to stay away from said girl as she is incredibly manipulative and what she said about me was not ok. However, my girlfriend still interacts with her often and the girl who accused me has posted instagram stories of them drinking and dancing together. I don't know what to do in this situation, i feel almost betrayed by my girlfriend. I tired to get her to see it from my point of view by imagining if i was hanging out with a person who had accused her of something sexually or had done something really awful to her. I need help to understand what to do, if I'm being controlling and if the way I'm feeling is normal or from some sort of insecurity.

Any advice will be amazing, thank you.

 

[Dudsboy]

Extra part i forgot - My girlfriend moved cities over a year ago and doesn't have many friends in our city yet. So I'm also torn in this regard, as i want her to have lots of friends and fun!

[Wiseman2]

Way too many red flags 🚩.

Long distance. Your attempts at information control/damage control,etc.

You need to end it. The more you try to control her,the more the rumors will be believed.

How badly do you need this job? Why weren't you prosecuted or fired, if this woman went around claiming all this?

Hop out of this litter box full of strange creepy girls. Don't get drunk and have sex with weird women.

[smackie9]

Sorry but this girl isn't worth the headache.

[DancingFool]

If you want to know who someone really is, take a good look at the company they keep.

Your gf is choosing to disregard your feelings and what happened to you and befriend this girl anyway because she likes her. This is your clue to get rid of the gf because she is showing you who she really is. Like attracts like. This has nothing to do with being new or not having enough friends. She can make new friends elsewhere.

You can't tell your gf what to do, but you can observe and decide that what she is choosing to do isn't working for you and walk away from her.

This whole situation sounds really really messy. If I were you, I'd be looking for another job and step out of this cesspool you seem to be floating in. Also, be sure that you take some lessons away and don't get involved with coworkers like that.

[SooSad33]

Were they friends before you got involved with her?

Nothing really you can do.. She has a life, she has her friends.

if she's accepted all that mess & proceeds with you, then try to let it go now.

You can't control who her friends are.

BUT, if it becomes too much for you, maybe this will end it for you two?

[Rose Mosse]

I think you are uncomfortable. Past that, yes, you would be controlling dictating whom your girlfriend chooses as friends. Both of you are not seeing eye to eye. Your girlfriend would know the situation already and that's the most that you can do - full disclosure on your part. 

Distance yourself and rethink whether this relationship is worth the hassle or headache if you are not able to trust the judgment of your partner. 

At the heart of this is lack of trust. That is a dealbreaker for me.