How do I Healthily and Maturely approach this?

[HebiJeebies]

I’m in a serious relationship with a really good guy for about 2 years now. But he gets really upset sometimes when I don’t listen to him.

For example, we were at the store and this shirt caught my eye. I was looking at it and considering buying it and asked him what he thought. He said he didn’t like it because of a design on the sleeve. I decided that I still liked it and bought it. He told me that I only bought it because he said he didn’t like it and was very annoyed at me.

But the reason why I posted this question was because the other day, we were watching a show on a streaming service and couldn’t remember what episode it was on. I thought it was one episode, and he thought it was another.  He got upset because I chose to check if the one I thought was correct instead of choosing the one he said to. He ended up being right. He told me that he feels like I don’t trust him or don’t ever listen to what he says. He says it hurts to watch, especially when he knows he is right. I never argued or showed attitude, I was just doing my thing and searching through the episodes because I thought that I was the correct one, when he got on to me for this after not immediately changing the episode to the one he thought.

Like, am I actually doing something wrong here? I don’t know how to approach this. It ended up turning into a really big fight because I told him that he can’t just expect me to do as he says. And he asked me why I couldn’t do that at least sometimes. It feels sort of controlling, but he doesn’t see that, he only sees mistrust. How does he not see that?? I feel almost criticized for going with my own feelings. 
 

I guess my question is if this is normal? How do I healthily respond to him when he gets upset at me for these things?

[Hollyj]

This guy sounds very insecure and controlling.    

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this is happening.

All the who's right /who's wrong bickering over insignificant nonsense is, as you correctly identified, a much deeper and larger issue.

That issue is a power struggle. Stop bickering over nonsense. Step back and reflect on why this has devolved into this ego tug of war.

He may be the argumentive type who likes to hear himself debate every.single.thing.

It's exhausting being with debaters and know-it-alls..

Do you live together? It sounds like you need a lot more space and time away from each other.

For example, why are you clothes shopping together, no less asking his option?

Why ask for opinoins you don't want?

You seem to be acting too submissively. And almost embrace his controlling behaviors.

That's something you can change. The other things you can change are:

1. Just don't argue. Why defend yourself?

2. Be more independent.

3. Spend less time together.

4. Round out your life more. Friends, family, work, interests, etc.

5. Reflect and consider that you are not compatible.