noone seems to understand

[Ally Rose]

I've been self-harming for a few years now and my parents found out about a year back because I needed stitches... they flipped out and have decided I'm part of a self-harm ring which is crazy, I don't know anyone else who does this so where that got that from I don't know...

Anyway my boyfriend always tries to talk to me about it and he's done all this research which is fine but whenever he does talk to me he reels out these statistics and it feels like he's put in a box or something. Like he's not talking to me, Ally, but to a Repetitive Self-Harmer who etc etc etc

And he didn't used to be like this, he used to be ok but a month back he had to take me to accident and emergency and since then he's just gone weird.

And so there's noone who understands that I can talk to...

how can I get them to change?

[heartbreaker23]

the only reason why theyve changed is because the care about you. you really shouldnt be doing that to yourself hun~ if i had a boyfriend that cared that much id feel fortunate. but you cant change someone who doesnt wanna change....cant help someone who doesnt wanna be helped....sorry youre having problems but im sure everything will turn out ok.

[itry]

sometimes... when someone u care about so much does something that u cant understand..u tend to come off the wrong way...

 

i know ur age is a little rough right now for ur parents to handle because u seem like another planet to them. and esp. with what ur doing.. to them, its not normal.

 

u have to ask urself why u do these things... almost all the time.. self hurting is because of some sort of emotional/mental stress of some sort. for ur parents to know that ur doing this.. they can only assume the worst and dont know how to express/handle it.

 

rather than ur mother/father or ur boyfriend take u into their arms and hold u and tell u how much u mean to them.. they "flip" out.

 

 

figure out why u do this.. and then tell urself truthfully wether its truly good for u... if its not...then pick the closest person to u that u know cares about u .. and talk about it to them.

 

 

good luck

[Ally Rose]

I know it's because they care about me. I appreciate where they're coming from and stuff, and I know it's not easy for them but it would be nice if I could get him to talk to me like he used to...

and a self-harm ring? seriously? I really wouldn't sit around with a bunch of people complaining and cutting, that's not my thing at all. And she's always like, why do you do it ally, what makes you so sad, you must be doing it to fit in with your friends and it's like she's blocked out this stuff that went on with my dad a few years back. I mean, I actually moved out of home when I was thirteen for 6 months because everything was getting so bad, but she doesn't seem to remember it at all. Is that denial? Maybe she just doesn't want to admit it might be home stuff. It would be easier for her to deal with if I was just doing it to fit in with my friends but it makes me feel like she thinks I'm worthless

[heartbreaker23]

im sure the last thing she wants to do is make you feel that way! so many people care about you im sure and if something ever did happen to you they would just die inside! you need to find out whats causing all this distress hun~ you obviously have resentment towards your mother. my dad used to beat me when i was like 12 and 13 and we get along fine now. im 17~ parents really dont understand how to deal with their children a good portion of the time, thats not their fault. they come from a different time. and as for your boyfriend, why dont you tell him how you feel? tell him that you miss him talking to you like a normal person. but relationships take sacrafices, i know i wouldnt be able to cope with my bf hurting himself so maybe you should consider his feelings too. he must be worried sick! he probably just doenst know how to deal with something this life threatening ya know? thats not his fault im sure hes just confused

[Ally Rose]

I know it's hard for them, I do get that, but I feel so hurt when they act the way they do. My mum keeps going through all my stuff and taking away anything sharp and it's just like, hello, you're not helping, don't go through my stuff blah blah... I do resent her for not helping when my dad was being, you know, and when I made her mad she'd tell me off really loud so he'd come and smack me around. That sounds like it could be in my head but it's really not. And I always talk to her about her problems and try to understand and it would be nice if she'd do the same for me... I love her loads and stuff but it feels like a one way relationship

[metallicachica247]

all i can say is stop. they care and want to get you help

[orangecounty]

I'm sure you boyfriend really cares about you. It sounds like he may be detaching himself from the emotional part of the situation because I'm sure it hurts him to see you in pain. A few months ago, my sister burnt her hands badly on the stove. I had to drive her to emergency, I felt so matter of factly and in charge. Then after she had gone home and I got home, I was so upset all of a sudden, I had pushed all the emotion aside. Have you tried seeing a therapist? I think you honestly need someone outside of that family of yours. My aunt cuts herself as well, I understand what you're going through. You can't change anyone, but you can tell them how you feel. I've learnt over the years that I can't change any of my family members but I can try and change how I react to them. It ain't so easy though sometimes is it?

Take care,

Jo

[becallamjr]

If you feel the need to cut, go ahead and cut. There is nothing anyone can say or do to get you to stop. As an ex cutter I know what it feels like to need to cut. It relieves so much stress and pain in an instant. No matter how deep you cut the scars will always heal, but the scars that last are ones inside of you. The one's that care about you will never be able to truly help you because they will never truly understand. The only advice I can offer to you is to try to find a healthier way to release that stress and pain. I found some angry music and hitting a boxing bag worked for me, you just gotta look and you'll find your niche.

[Outcast-Angel]

No matter how deep you cut the scars will always heal, but the scars that last are ones inside of you.

i don't think that's exactly true.. i'm fairly certain at least a few of my scars will never really go away. just get less red. but you've got a good point about finding something like angry music and boxing. it makes me feel a bit better, too. but that could be because i always split my knuckles when i box.