Unusual Occurence During Sex ?!

[ally.]

This has happened on two occasions with my fiance and i've never before experienced it with any of my past partners, and to be completely frank i'm appalled and disgusted. Just before the peak of reaching climax, my lover has as normal : kissed me, and afterwards spat in my mouth ?

 

The first time it happened i thought to myself okay, it's all to do with the build up?!, i'm sure it wasnt suppose to happen, but when it did take place again the second time i was not happy about it. I felt like he was imitating porn into our sex life or something. It was not in anyway possible a turn on for me.

 

This is sort of directing my mind into the possibilities of the next time were enduring penetration, out of nowhere maybe it'll go into the wrong place, or whatever other pornographic action is unexpectedly sickeningly capable. It's just to me so unnesessary.

 

Without a doubt in the world, of course im going to bring it up and mention it to him. Im just a small bit oblivious about how im actually going to bring the subject to arise.

 

Should i go for the "Oh honey before you do come inside me, please DO NOT do that repulsive spit!"

 

Or when were having lunch maybe i should just introduce our sex life at the table and ask "Are you aware that you spit directly in my mouth during sex?"

 

I dunno?

 

I've brang it up to some friends and well, they laughed when i told them. I'm actually rather embarrassed about it.

 

Now, how should i go about this with him ?

[Darknova12]

hey,

if your having that much of a problem with it, talk to him about it...it may be uncomfortable but he IS your fiance, before you next have sex ask him about it, and tell him you dont really enjoy it...he should be able to change his habits if its one small odd action

 

-best of luck

Darknova

[kskm]

So let me get this straight.. he spits.. like spits into your mouth? Like not kissing, but straight up spits a wad full of saliva into your mouth??

I am not trying to be mean- just trying to understand. I have no idea why someone would do that? ? And I watch porn- and I've never seen that!! I would say maybe he doesn't realize he's doign it- but how do you not realize that you've just spit a loogey into someones mouth?? Hm. I guess I would.. definitally not at breakfast, lunch or dinner... bring it up by probably laughing. I would make it funny so that he doesn't get embarrassed.. like while you are doing the dishes and he is watching tv, laugh aloud- he will say what's so funny- you say I was just thinking, and I don't know if you realize it or not but you always spit into my mouth when you are coming?? I guess he could just not realize it- I don't know how, maybe he has a reason?? That's how I would approach it.

[smallworld]

Yikes! I say bring it up right before sex. Why ruin lunch too?

[Hope75]

No doubt it's strange, and I don't know anyone who has gone through anything similar. Really the only thing is just to talk with him about it, probably not in public over lunch, but maybe the next time it's just the two of you and you feel comfortable enough to bring it up.

 

Good luck, and hopefully if you nip this in the bud right away it won't become an issue.

[RayKay]

Well, definitely different, but on the bright side there are some worse quirks he could have!

 

I would say yes talk to him about it when you are both comfortable and relaxing (not in public) and some humour might be good in the situation, he may not really realize what he is doing either.

[may55]

When you do bring this up to him (which you MUST) tread lightly. Try not to accuse him, I like what the previous reply said about humor. Try to be open to him. Lots of men have "kinky" fanstasies. He obviously feels comfortable enough with you to play out one of these fantasties. Don't lose that trust, but definitely deal with this!

 

Good luck!

[DN]

Definetely bring it up - I take it he is aware that he is doing it?

[MyNinja]

why on earth would someone want to spit during sex anyway??? I know people do some strange things when aroused, but spitting, totally kills the moment!

 

Yes, like everyone else said, just talkt to him about it, with some humor. He should be understanding of it since it bothers you.

[whatfor]

IMHO

Thats disgusting! I see it as an insulting and no respect for you. I dont think a person can do something like that without noticing. Talk to him, I wouldnt add any jokes to that though, its nothing to joke about especially when you dont like it (if you smile and laugh it might look like you enjoy it, shy or something like that), i would talk seriously but calmly. I didnt see anything like that in any porn. Thats a total no respect!

[SPark]

Yes, it seems that some people like to do this...not the first time I`ve heard of it, or even encountered it. Actually, I don`t mind IF I am mentally prepared, but I agree, what a rude shock!!

 

If this isn`t something you want to deal with for the rest of your married life, better have a good talk NOW. Even if he says "Oh, ok, I won`t do that anymore", are you SURE that it is not a big part of his sexual fantasy life that he will regret saying `bye to later?? Sheesh, what a dilemma. I guess the heart wants what it wants, though, right? I read in the Japanese newspaper advice column a new wife writing to ask what to do because her husband could only come IN HER EYE. Yes, that would be worse. Sorry, everyone. Hope you can get THAT image out of your heads now. Here`s the pine sol...have a paper towel on me.

[kskm]

So, did you talk to him?

[sweet_bebcho]

This is the first I'm hearing of someone doing that. I watch alot of pron and I've never ever seen that. You should definetley talk to him or you'll continue to suffer in silence and then it all comes out really harshly one day, and he'll seen so shock. He'll probably say,''but you like it''

My boyfriend does stuff like that to me. Lastnight he we having sex and he stuck his penis up my butt for a few seconds, even though I told him before sex that I didn't want this.

I said it to him afterwards and he went,'' no I didnt'' or the classic answer,'' I know you like it, that's why you never said anything.

Talk to him NOW or he'll carry-on thinking that you enjoy it so much that he'll come up with something even more repulsive next time. ( and tell you that you like it.)