He's so jealous I dont know what to do

[suffering1607306436]

My guy is jealous of everything. It's got to the point where he has told me he wants me to not have any male friends. He lived with his ex when we met (although they weren't together and not having sex) and I was subjected to her all the time- answering the phone etc when I called him. This never bothered me. But in return I just came out of a long term relationship and mentioned my ex from time to time.

 

He couldnt stand it and has ripped up all my letters from him and all the bits and pieces that were part of my past with him. But when I go to his place, his exes stuff is all still there- hairdryers, nail varnish, make-up. As if she still lives there. It's the whole 1-sided thing that upsets me. If ever I even hint of a situation that involved a male friend or an ex he freaks out screaming and shouting and generally making my life hell.

 

I Love him so much. The good times with him are the greatest and make me so incredibly happy. It's just that the jealousy is so bad now I sometimes feel suicidal. I dont think I can take mush more of it. But I couldnt be without him- I dont think! I suppose it's my fault for talking about my ex but I never do anymore and the jealousy persists. How do I deal with it?

[shinobi1607306436]

Hi, I think I know how you feel. Right now I'm very much like your boyfriend in my relationship. But I'm quickly realizing that my feelings of jealousy and possessiveness are counter-productive but I still feel them. Every once in a while I feel the way you describe your boyfriend. When my girlfriend is talking about another guy or going out to see a male friend I feel jealous and scared. Don't give up on the guy, but try to make him realize that he isn't going to lose you, and his jealous treatment of you will soon become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also I hope you know that ending a good relationship isn't the end of the world, the feelings you have with this guy can be found again. Remember there are two people in the relationship and you are just as important as he is.

 

Good luck

[LovelyGuy]

hi suffering, right now I am that lealous guy you describe but without the aggression. My g/f has been out with a male friend and had another old friend in her house without telling me. This sparked off possessive and mistrusting behaviour from me. Have you done anything to cause him to feel insecure? Do you play games maybe without realising the effect it may have? i suspect your b/f will take a behavioural high moral stance in an attempt to show you how he thinks you should behave but he will get frustrated if he still feels insecure. He needs to realise his stifling you with mistrust will push you into the arms of that person he fears so much. The more he oppresses you, the more you will hide and that is then a downward spiral. Relating your situation to mine, if I was him .. I'd need regular reassurance by actions not words, flinging your arms around him if he does something nice for you and be as open as possible. Anything he has to work out himself will result in a pessimistic conclusion in his mind.