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Really hoping for some honest advice, :)


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Hey there!


I’m a 21m from South Africa, and I’ve been carrying out this flirtation with a 21f in the Netherlands for about 4 months now. Basically, I’m a textbook overthinker, and I really need some honest advice on this situation. I don’t have anywhere to turn to!


So, this girl and I were good friends for a while (she’s South African, and moved over about 3 years ago) and lost contact when she moved over. However, I was awarded a scholarship to study in the Netherlands in 2021, and so, as I was going to be there, we re established contact in December 2019.


Things progressed fairly quickly...we’ve been flirty with each other, had a whole lot of deep conversations ranging from personal philosophy to what we’d look for in life partners, sharing memes, speaking daily with voicenotes...she’s certainly the closest person in my life, and, if she’s to be believed, I am as well. Even now, under quarantine, we’ve made opportunities to watch movies together, play quizzes online, shared poems and writing...


My dilemma lies in this: She’s studying heavily for her exams at the moment, and so for the past week or so her vibe has been really different. She doesn’t text me first or at all unless I initiate, and when she does reply, it’s normally fairly bland and unquestioning responses- which are absolutely out of character. I’ve asked if she’s okay, but she insists it’s just exams. It’s beginning to almost hurt my feelings...I see she’s online, but she doesn’t say anything.


It’s entirely possible she’s just busy, but I’m getting a funny vibe, and I’m kind of an overthinker. I’m worried that I should make a more concrete statement of my intentions. I mean, I didn’t want to say anything because she’s got exams, and because I’m not physically there yet (I will be from December of this year)...but I’ve tried to indicate my interest by flirting, sending her chocolate on Easter, offering compliments on her photos, but maybe I should be more direct? I’m worried that she thinks I’m stringing her along.


So that’s my story forum! I really hope someone can give me some advice or an honest opinion on the situation...it’s possible I’m worrying too much, but what should I do? I really like this girl, and I don’t want to let her slip away because of my actions, 🙈


Thanks for reading, I know it’s quite long, 🙈

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