A crush like I've never had

[Infatuated]

This girl is absolutlely incredible.

 

This girl is not attainable though. So many problems and circumstances inhibit me even letting her know of my feelings for her.

 

We work together, beside each other at an office building. We are both university students, working there for the summer and have been working there before, part-time, during school. We are in different programs, she is ahead of me in her four year degree. I'm OLDER than her by 4 years. She gets better grades than I do in school. She seems to have more stuff going on too, volunteering and getting involved in sports.

 

We have spent a good deal of time talking to one another during work. We have told each other about our families, interests, issues, told each other funny stories and the like. After this time, I've found her to be a truly exceptional, incredible person.

 

We "seem" to flirt back and forth with sarcasm being the only evidence. I've made blank faces towards her, fearing her becoming uncomfortable if I make prolonged eye-contact or by smiling. She gives me short looks with eye contact. She calls me by name sometimes, more so lately, within the last few days. If that means anything, please let me know. Before she would just talk to me directly, no names, hey for hellow and the like....

 

The thing is, we have never discussed dating, our sex lives or even if we are seeing people currently. I'm not sure if this is entirely in my mind or not.

 

What I do know is that I can find dates, and have been dating a new girl recently. After three dates, I ended things, being unable to stop thinking about my crush when I was actually on

dates.

 

I would not jeopardize my job by creating an ackward situation by confessing my feelings to her. I don't think that would be bright at all. I really don't know what to do here. I need to hide my feelings away for awhile to be safe. What I do know is that this is a girl I would get beat up for. This is a girl I would sacrifice for. This is a girl I would wait for.

 

Sticky situation. Any stories to share?

[MetallicAguy]

Get some balls and just ask her out. It's not hard, who cares what the circumstances are and the difficulties are, that's an excuse. If you really would sacrifice for her and all that bs, why don't you take a risk and tell her how you feel? I see no point in saying you'd "sacrifice" yourself for her if you wouldn't take a risk to see if she feels the same.

 

 

Plus it just sounds like a big infatuation...your name says it all lol.

[Flora]

I would not jeopardize my job by creating an ackward situation by confessing my feelings to her. I don't think that would be bright at all. This is a girl I would sacrifice for. This is a girl I would wait for.

 

 

You need to go for it...you'll regret it if you don't. See if she wants to grab a bite to eat after work or meet up somewhere for drinks or coffee of sumthin.

[Mr. B]

You need to go for it...you'll regret it if you don't. See if she wants to grab a bite to eat after work or meet up somewhere for drinks or coffee of sumthin.

Ditto. You think it would suck if she rejects you? Do nothing, and know of the only thing that will suck more.

[MetallicAguy]

Agreed with Flora and Mr.B.

[Unmotivated]

I think that first of all you should descretely try to figure out if she is currently in a relationship. You know, just kind of guide the conversation in that direction but try not to give yourself away. = )

 

If she isn't you could try asking her if she wants to go out to lunch or something casual. I mean you can go so far without admitting to anything, so if she does decline you can still keep things how they are now. You don't need to literally "confess your feelings" to her.

 

Also, I would advise you to make your move as soon as possible. The longer you wait the greater the chances are that you miss your opportunity if there is one.

 

Good luck man!

[MetallicAguy]

Well, what Energismus said is good, but if she isn't interested just to let you know, she will more than likely bring up doing something associated with her bf or something.

[speardane]

I think that if a girl isn't interested, she'll usually find a way to work something into conversations about her boyfriend, or something like that, to let a guy know that she isn't interested.

 

The fact that she's never talked about that sort of thing with you should probably be taken as an encouragement.

 

As far as your statement concerning your job, that's a bunch of baloney. No job is worth even the chance of a relationship with someone you're that attracted to.

 

You need to take a shot, or you'll regret it.

[Shinobie]

Ya u should definitely go for it.I mean what is there to lose except for being rejected but it seems like shes interested so i would definitely go for it.U'll regret it later if u dont.

[Infatuated]

I appreciate your help guys.

 

I think though, that young age is a deciding factor between your advice and what my opinion of the situation.

 

We are in a small city in Canada, with not many office jobs available for students. We do specialized work and are both very very thankful to work here since the pay is around 1.5X what our contemporaries earn elsewhere for the summer. I will not jeopardize my job, and since she takes her job seriously like I do, it would not be appropriate.

 

Even though I am completely ready to admit my feelings, and tell her how I feel, I don't think I'd even bother asking her out for coffee or anything unless I could find out before if she was into it. We have msn at work so we can communicate about work related issues, although we just end up talking to our friends (if anyone) on it, if something is to be discussed about work, it's done face to face.

 

I guess you could say, there may be fear (maybe from both sides) about telling one another "too-much" of what is going on in our lives. She will tell me what she did last night occasionally, and it usually involves her watching a movie with her sister, or working out with a female co-worker whom I also know/work with.

 

She doesn't pry or ask me outright what I did last night. I don't either. She will share things she wants to share, I will do the same.

 

In such a sticky, entrenched situation, I'm not sure what can be done. Right now, I will hide my feelings inside, as I have for the better part of a month and a half now. I'm not sure if a situation/oppurtunity will arise or not.

 

Any ideas about that?

 

Thanks.